Two options:
1) Keep your 230i and do a stage 1 tune. (Yes, this will void your warranty.) Spending $8k on all those mods is A LOT and when you eventually sell you won't get your money back on them.
2) Buy a M240i X-Drive. $20k is the incremental amount you'll have to spend now, but you will be able to sell a M240i X-Drive for more than a 230i whenever you decide to sell years from now. Therefore, $20k is the additional amount you're spending now, but you will get some of that money back, taking into account depreciation, when you sell.
I would sell the 230i and buy a M240i X-Drive.
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