***Official Light Bulb Joke Thread ***

Tondtar · 11-13-2009, 04:01 PM

Let's make this the official, "How many ???? takes to change a light bulb?" thread ...Starting with one of may favorites

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Q:"How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?"

A: "Hey, wanna ride bikes?"

Zirenz2006 · 11-13-2009, 04:12 PM

Q: How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We choose not to make a statement of either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb however, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way,long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ.

UncleWede · 11-13-2009, 04:27 PM

How many city employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

4. One to screw it in and 3 to supervise.

best regards,
Wede

xbook · 11-13-2009, 04:47 PM

Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Fuck that, let the bitch cook in the dark.

Q: How many guitarist does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 20. 1 to do it, and 19 to say "Yeah but it was so derivative, I could have done much better"

boymonkey · 11-13-2009, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UncleWede

How many city employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

4. One to screw it in and 3 to supervise.

best regards,
Wede

That's 3 to supervise "on-site". At least two more are supervising off-site.

pmeloche · 11-13-2009, 10:22 PM

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. It's too small to screw in a light bulb.

Synergy · 11-13-2009, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pmeloche

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. It's too small to screw in a light bulb.

i seriously read that about 5 times before i understood it

Synergy · 11-13-2009, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tondtar

Q:"How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?"

A: "Hey, wanna ride bikes?"

LOLOL

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn · 11-14-2009, 02:03 PM

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, feminists can't change anything

GreenPlease · 11-15-2009, 07:47 PM

How many pollacks does it take to change a light bulb?

3. One to hold the light bulb, two to turn the ladder.

Memphis1 · 11-16-2009, 03:18 PM

How many jugglers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- Only one, but it takes at least three lightbulbs.

Memphis1 · 11-16-2009, 03:19 PM

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

- Three. One to change the bulb, and two to secretly wish they were the socket.

Memphis1 · 11-16-2009, 03:20 PM

How many Ukrainians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- None. They glow in the dark.

Memphis1 · 11-16-2009, 03:21 PM

How many Psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- Just one. But the bulb has to really WANT to change.

Memphis1 · 11-16-2009, 03:22 PM

How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- Three, but they're really one.

Memphis1 · 11-16-2009, 03:22 PM

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

- Only one. Men will screw anything.

stifenhowk · 11-17-2009, 06:59 AM

Que: Hey which is more useful Woman or Car ?
Ans: Car.

Citizen Z · 11-17-2009, 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stifenhowk

Que: Hey which is more useful Woman or Car ?
Ans: Car.

Post fail. Jokes must be in the form:

Q: How many (Subject) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: (Sum of Variable Y and Z); (Variable Y) to perform (Action A) and (Variable Z) to perform (Action B).

Negotiator · 11-17-2009, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by memphis2012

How many Ukrainians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- None. They glow in the dark.

11-13-2009, 04:01 PM	#1
Tondtar 12 yr old Juvie 1225 Rep 881 Posts Drives: His Mom Crazy Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: El Lay iTrader: (2) Garage List 2008 (RIP in 2011) ... [0.00]	*Official Light Bulb Joke Thread * Let's make this the official, "How many ???? takes to change a light bulb?" thread ...Starting with one of may favorites ---------------------------------------------------------------- Q:"How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?" A: "Hey, wanna ride bikes?" Last edited by Tondtar; 11-13-2009 at 05:14 PM..
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11-13-2009, 04:12 PM	#2
Zirenz2006 Brigadier General 1835 Rep 4,702 Posts Drives: G80 M3 Comp Xdrive Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: US - NE iTrader: (0)	Q: How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb? A: We choose not to make a statement of either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb however, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way,long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ. __________________ Current: 2026 ///M3 Comp xDrive IOMG Past: 2024 ///M2 \| 2021 ///M3 Comp \| 2018 X3 ///M40i \| 2012 *328i* \| 2009 *335i* \| 2007 *335i Coupe* \| 2005 *545i* \| 2001 *325i*
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11-13-2009, 04:27 PM	#3
UncleWede Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner 19296 Rep 9,484 Posts Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Oxnard, CA iTrader: (0)	How many city employees does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4. One to screw it in and 3 to supervise. best regards, Wede
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11-13-2009, 04:47 PM	#4
xbook Lieutenant Colonel 157 Rep 1,540 Posts Drives: '14 EBII M235i & '06 R53 GP Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Northridge, CA iTrader: (0) Garage List 2006 MINI Cooper S GP [0.00] 2014 BMW M235i [0.00] 2008 E82 [0.00]	Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fuck that, let the bitch cook in the dark. Q: How many guitarist does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 20. 1 to do it, and 19 to say "Yeah but it was so derivative, I could have done much better" __________________
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11-13-2009, 10:22 PM	#6
pmeloche Lieutenant Colonel 25 Rep 1,604 Posts Drives: 2013 F25 X3 xDrive35i Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Montréal, Canada iTrader: (0)	Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. It's too small to screw in a light bulb. __________________ Patrice 2013 F25 X3 xDrive35i Vermillion Red
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11-14-2009, 02:03 PM	#9
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Lieutenant 118 Rep 465 Posts Drives: 1 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: 2 iTrader: (0)	How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, feminists can't change anything
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11-15-2009, 07:47 PM	#10
GreenPlease Lieutenant Colonel 168 Rep 1,629 Posts Drives: BMW 335i e92 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Orlando Florida iTrader: (2)	How many pollacks does it take to change a light bulb? 3. One to hold the light bulb, two to turn the ladder. __________________ Cars>Women
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11-16-2009, 03:18 PM	#11
Memphis1 Lieutenant Colonel 99 Rep 1,838 Posts Drives: Z4 SDrive 35i Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: CT iTrader: (0)	How many jugglers does it take to change a lightbulb ? - Only one, but it takes at least three lightbulbs.
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11-16-2009, 03:19 PM	#12
Memphis1 Lieutenant Colonel 99 Rep 1,838 Posts Drives: Z4 SDrive 35i Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: CT iTrader: (0)	How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ? - Three. One to change the bulb, and two to secretly wish they were the socket.
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11-16-2009, 03:20 PM	#13
Memphis1 Lieutenant Colonel 99 Rep 1,838 Posts Drives: Z4 SDrive 35i Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: CT iTrader: (0)	How many Ukrainians does it take to change a lightbulb ? - None. They glow in the dark.
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11-16-2009, 03:21 PM	#14
Memphis1 Lieutenant Colonel 99 Rep 1,838 Posts Drives: Z4 SDrive 35i Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: CT iTrader: (0)	How many Psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb ? - Just one. But the bulb has to really WANT to change.
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11-16-2009, 03:22 PM	#15
Memphis1 Lieutenant Colonel 99 Rep 1,838 Posts Drives: Z4 SDrive 35i Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: CT iTrader: (0)	How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb ? - Three, but they're really one.
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11-17-2009, 06:59 AM	#17
stifenhowk Registered 0 Rep 1 Posts Drives: sdfsdf Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: fsdfsd iTrader: (0)	Que: Hey which is more useful Woman or Car ? Ans: Car. __________________ gifts
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