[MooseCaboose]

since the beginning of the new year. ive been feeling really shitty most of the time. not to be emo or depressed, its just a feeling of shittyness. but when i analyzed what ive got in life, a gf i do love, an e90(if thats even worth mentioning of being grateful to have), above average marks in school, average part time job, good friends. i mean...what is there to be so shitty about? i have no clue. could it be karma thats coming back to get me? i want to feel happy more than anything right now. but nothing will do it. my car use to make me so happy every time i go for a drive, now it feels dull. i use to love the fact that im with my gf, now it feels dull. getting good grades, again not much satisfaction. and i dont know if its me or anything, but im beginning to notice that theres no one to trust nowadays. i just have no idea what is going through me. could it be a phase? no i dont feel emo and the need to off myself or anything like that, i just dont feel as happy as id like. im not writing this to get pity, i just need to let it out. venting so to speak. ahh, what to do..

[Year's_End]

How old are you? I felt the same not too long ago. I think it's just a phase.

[Year's_End]

Oh and I know exactly what you mean about venting...feels good...

[johnnymu]

Religion?

My own experience, always was blessed with so many things in life, but for some reason felt something was not complete, when I found the word, things started making more sense to me. Just personal experience.

[O-cha]

Originally Posted by MooseCaboose

since the beginning of the new year. ive been feeling really shitty most of the time. not to be emo or depressed, its just a feeling of shittyness. but when i analyzed what ive got in life, a gf i do love, an e90(if thats even worth mentioning of being grateful to have), above average marks in school, average part time job, good friends. i mean...what is there to be so shitty about? i have no clue. could it be karma thats coming back to get me? i want to feel happy more than anything right now. but nothing will do it. my car use to make me so happy every time i go for a drive, now it feels dull. i use to love the fact that im with my gf, now it feels dull. getting good grades, again not much satisfaction. and i dont know if its me or anything, but im beginning to notice that theres no one to trust nowadays. i just have no idea what is going through me. could it be a phase? no i dont feel emo and the need to off myself or anything like that, i just dont feel as happy as id like. im not writing this to get pity, i just need to let it out. venting so to speak. ahh, what to do..

It's called restlessness and it's part of youth.

[MooseCaboose]

i recently turned 19 in the new year, fresh into univ. you are right thats the perfect word to describe it. something is not complete. in terms of religion, i never believed in anything.i believe you just need to live. be nice and get some in return. simple really. i hope its just a phase, i cant imagine my whole life ahead of me like this. perhaps i need to make some changes in my life style.

in terms of restlessness, i dont know what i can be so restless about. most of the time im either in school, doing hw, at work, out with friends or the woman.

[Year's_End]

Sounds like you're getting bored of the same ol same ol. Looks like somebody needs to take a trip or go somewhere for a while.

[MooseCaboose]

wow, i think you could be right bimmer loyalist. summer is fast approaching, mybe i need a road trip down to the states and have some fun for awhile. i thought about the season too, being in van during the winter months = really shitty weather. everything is grey and lifeless and boring. could be affecting my feelings on things.

[Year's_End]

Do it! I'm going backpacking in Europe come this summer.

Do something spontaneous. Go somewhere you haven't been before. Try new things. We all have to mix it up a little.

[johnnymu]

Again there seem to be some similarity in the situation I was in. Was young, took a lot of things for granted and I started asking myself " is this it?" Everything felt short term, didn't have long term satisfaction. What I eventually started doing was join helping the community. This might sound goody too shoe or what not but when I did unselfish acts the accomplishment was more satisfying then you could imagine. I don't care what anyone says, a car is a car, helping others that are less fortunate than you is more satisfying.
Then again you could just be burned out and need to get away.

[MooseCaboose]

i think youve just put a light at the end of my tunnel bimmer loyalist. i really appreciate all your guys comments. i think ill make plans for a nice trip to seattle in the summer with the lady for a day. gives me something to look forward to and bring my hopes back up. one day id like to head to europe like you too. sounds like a fun trip.

[MooseCaboose]

theres no doubt about it that volunteering and doing good deed makes you feel alot better. ive done my fair share of volunteering too. could also be the fact that with all the negative influences, i started to treat other the same way a little.

[Los Angeles]

Find new hobbies. You're obviously not doing what makes you happy.

Depression happens from time to time.

You should be more active. Work out more. It releases a lot of negative energy in your body.

Work out a few times a week.

Stay active and challenge yourself.

Try new sex positions and spice things up with somethin a little extra.

Love life and stop being so mopey.

[Year's_End]

Originally Posted by Los Angeles

Find new hobbies. You're obviously not doing what makes you happy.

Depression happens from time to time.

You should be more active. Work out more. It releases a lot of negative energy in your body.

Work out a few times a week.

Stay active and challenge yourself.

Try new sex positions and spice things up with somethin a little extra.

Love life and stop being so mopey.

Oh yeah, WORKOUT! Can't believe I forgot to say that. It really does make everything feel better, seriously.

[Couch]

I spent a good chunk of my latter teen years and my early 20's depressed. So I know exactly what you're going through.

When I started trying to really figure out why I was so depressed and where it began, is when my life started to turn around for the better. I don't want to hijack your thread () , but I think telling just a bit of my story may help you search for ways to turn around.

I grew up in a fairly strong Catholic household (my mom much more religiously bound than my dad). When I went to a conformation retreat at age 17, I realized some things I had held deep inside for a long time. I found that I was scarred by the fact I had lost a grandfather I was very very close with at a young age. As well as not getting to know my other grandparents at all. At the time my Meme was alive, but lifeless in a nursing home.

That's when everything took a turn for the worse. Over the years I became more and more depressed. My last year of college things got much worse. A girl moved in next door whom I immediately had a connection with. I had never felt such emotions before. Then all of the sudden it turned bad.

While I don't have any factual proof, I suspected my roommate of trying to sabotage my relationship with her. So now I lost what could have became at least a really good friendship with her, if not more, but I no longer trusted my friend. The downward spiral begins. I became a very very angry person. I would wake up in the morning and just punch the walls/doors, slam things, just not give a fuck. All day for almost a year I contemplated suicide. It was all I thought about.

To this day I believe God gave me the strength to think about my mom during this time. If I had taken my life, my mom's life would have ended. Fearing this and not wanting to hurt her or my dad is what kept me from crossing the line.

One day I began searching online for positive words of encouragement, something to give me hope. I just began reading anything that was positive. I also watched Joel Osteen, as hokey as it sounds his words truly helped me out. I'm a big believer in fate. And on day I happened to wake up and when I turned the tv on, it was on the channel his service appears on. The sermon was as parallel to everything I was feeling for years. As I watched every week for probably 6-8 months, I began reflecting on my past.

I worked on being as active as possible. And it took a good year to stop being depressed everyday.

I'm not telling you to look toward religion, just a positive force. Read books, watch videos of positive speakers, and speak your heart to your girlfriend and those closest to you.

I apologize for taking over your thread. I just wanted to give a little more personal situation so you know you're not alone. Go out on walks, go to the gym, immerse yourself in social settings whether you feel like it or not.

I've come along way, and feel more confident and happier than I have since I was a little kid.(I'm 26) You have to remember depression, and ups and downs in our emotional status is normal. There is no magical pill to help you. So don't go see some crack-pot doctor. You'll become a much stronger person once you've looked inside. It takes time, and you can get through it.

If you have any personal questions feel free to shoot me a pm. Any question at all. Best of luck.

[Brunotheboxer]

you could have what i believe is called seasonal affective disorder.

[GuyOh]

lifes to good for you

[aznshrek88]

Originally Posted by MooseCaboose

since the beginning of the new year. ive been feeling really shitty most of the time. not to be emo or depressed, its just a feeling of shittyness. but when i analyzed what ive got in life, a gf i do love, an e90(if thats even worth mentioning of being grateful to have), above average marks in school, average part time job, good friends. i mean...what is there to be so shitty about? i have no clue. could it be karma thats coming back to get me? i want to feel happy more than anything right now. but nothing will do it. my car use to make me so happy every time i go for a drive, now it feels dull. i use to love the fact that im with my gf, now it feels dull. getting good grades, again not much satisfaction. and i dont know if its me or anything, but im beginning to notice that theres no one to trust nowadays. i just have no idea what is going through me. could it be a phase? no i dont feel emo and the need to off myself or anything like that, i just dont feel as happy as id like. im not writing this to get pity, i just need to let it out. venting so to speak. ahh, what to do..

Hey if we're going for best SOB stories I take the cake. My ex-gf broke up with me about 5 weeks ago, and after 5 long fing years its been a shit show to pick up my life. She was abusive, controlling and took over my life. My GPA fell into what is now unacceptable area and I have been rejected from all my interviews and offers of initial steps for a summer internship. I have been looking forward to getting a summer internship after 4 years because I transferred schools and so I had to take classes in the summer. (And now my last chance I lost all of them) Anyways, I have no friends because she hijacked my facebook account; and stop speaking to about everyone I know to make her happy for various stupid reasons. I pissed off my parents during this time and created an extemely adversarial relationship, and got really hostile towards them. I stopped talking to my best friend of almost 10 yrs now. I'm currently a senior with 1 semester left of college with no friends, a shitty GPA, and really no reason to continue on with life (emo moments, huh?) And if you really want to get into the nitty gritty, during our time together I got the 1st stitches i've ever had in my life, got my car scratched up and repaired because of her bs, which in total if you want to sum it up has been about 1.5k (body dmg & ripped off half my CB, so I needed to reinstall it) and I've been through about 4 cell phones in a year, when it takes me usually 2-3 yrs before a cell phone needs to be replaced. (Oh btw Motorola C139's are like tanks, if someone throws those things, they just keep on working, just FYI). I'm not really depressed anymore, but I get lazy at the gym because I see no reason to work out so hard...So I see no fcuking reason why you feel the way you do *end rant*

Okay, but I understand how you feel at the same time. Sometimes you can't explain or reason through things, but you go in phases. Talk to your gf about it or your friends, maybe there's no reason to it, but it'll wear off. If you have a great circle of friends, your feelings will go away in no time. Everyone around you adds to your life and when you feel lost go talk to them, that's why they're there. And your only 19, you have 3 years of college left and it'll be loads of fun. All in all, stop TRYING to feel happy, happy is just something that comes with the territory...if you and your gf are out eating something delicious or you had a fun ride in your e90, those are the moments you will remember. so just know that happiness will come in time =D.

[MooseCaboose]

S.A.D in all seriousness, like a poster said. i need to stop feeling so mopey.

[aapriadi]

sounds like you need to take a break from everything including school and work (if you have one)
go backpacking or just travel with your girl to the places you've always wanted to visit and dont make a timetable.....just go where your heart takes you and cool yourself down for about 2weeks to a month...
i believe we all need to have some dedicated for ourselves
hope this works, good luck!