[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Absolutely he can stop right there. After all, this thread has a troubled history of being teased by various posters (upstatedoc comes to mind) with little snippets of what could be an interesting story, only to be left woefully unsatiated.

Such a tease "Judy", such a tease. tee hee.

But in all honesty, it is his personal life, so he should only divulge whatever he wants too - I'm actually not trying to get him to divulge more, just happily taking a little stab at both members as a nice little twofer.

very true i agree

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

u can not stop there lol

Ok, so here is the rest of the story. The next day, I go downstairs and she is cooking breakfast. I open the laptop that stays of the cocktail table in the living room for various music, movies & forum bs to occupy my mind. When I open google and click in the search box, what pops up is a friend of mines name facebook. I say nothing. When she brings breakfast into the living room, I simply left the web page as it was so she could see it. She comes into the room and is trying her best to avoid the topic as she knows that I know something is up. She sets her plate on the table, notices the laptop screen and instantly tries to begin a tirade of lies.

The story goes that she went to go see her sister whose husband is related to my friend whom we both went to high school with. They were drinking and left her sisters around the same time.

Her story is that he was following her after she left while calling her. She didn't answer the phone but pulled over to let him know he shouldn't follow her home. She then came home to pull up his facebook account to send him a FB message stating to leave her alone.

His story: (because I am that guy that will straight up call someone and ask) They left at the same time and met up in a parking lot, kissed and whatnot in the car and then went their separate ways.

I did ask her about the condom wrapper in the trash and she swore that there was never one in there and that I must have been jet lagged. She also explained that she never kissed him or was alone with him at any time.

This was only one of the long list of times that her actions and time could not be accounted for when matters of other men, mainly my "friends" were involved with.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by PshhhhhMW

Jesus, I cant even imagine keeping my cool if I was in that situation. Were there signs that kind of prepared you for this? The fact that she allowed you to find the condom to me kind of tells me this has been going on for a while. Non habitual cheaters eventually want to be caught. Her not throwing the wrapper away in the old trash bag she replaced is a sign.

This wasn't the first time, so I had grown accustomed to the scenario. There were plenty of signs prepping me for the situation which is why I was able to keep my cool. Had it caught me completely off guard, things would have been different. I honestly think that he threw the wrapper in the trash can as slap in the face to me that he was there and she didn't notice it.

[Alfisti]

Savage.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Savage.

This particular incident was only a small sampling of things to come over the years. They progressively got worse with time. Worst 7 years of my life, hands down.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

This particular incident was only a small sampling of things to come over the years. They progressively got worse with time. Worst 7 years of my life, hands down.

well now your past that phase in life, whether its good or bad experiences we become wiser and learn how to read people.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

This particular incident was only a small sampling of things to come over the years. They progressively got worse with time. Worst 7 years of my life, hands down.

hope you don't mind me asking, but what made you say "fuck this" and call it quits? 7 years is a long time my man, especially (from what you describe) you didn't leave on the first incident?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

well now your past that phase in life, whether its good or bad experiences we become wiser and learn how to read people.

Not so much this story alone, but the series of events that transpired after is what has shaped me to be the way that I am....devoid of emotion. I rarely allow myself to be excited about anything as for every up there is an equal down. I've come to find that if you remove emotion from most situations a person is able to think clearly and make logical decisions, thus providing a far more positive outcome. In a way, I hate the way those years played out as I feel like a part of myself died, but in the long run; it made me far more resilient and less apt to jump into bad situations.....also as you stated, reading people.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

hope you don't mind me asking, but what made you say "fuck this" and call it quits? 7 years is a long time my man, especially (from what you describe) you didn't leave on the first incident?

I don't mind at all; that's why we are all here, a gathering of the minds.

I was a terrible husband to my first wife. Although all relationships are a two way street, I should have been a better husband. My second wife treated me exactly how I treated my first. It's the great circle of life. I felt that the lesson for me to learn in the second marriage was being taught how the first wife felt and how to change my behaviors. The pattern with the second wife was that everything would be great for about 6 months and then for 3 months she lost her shit and would go crazy doing stupid things. It took me a while to realize that the pattern had nothing to do with me, it was her. She lacked attention from her father as a child and her mother treated her terribly. The second wife was the prettiest of the 6 daughters that her mother bore and the smartest. Her mother resented her because of this. With this being said, any attention that a man showed her was almost impossible for her to turn down, especially if he was attractive. Basically anytime that a man would show her attention, she would compare me to them. If they had a nicer car, she was gone. If they made more money, she was gone. If they had a bigger dick, she was gone. After 3 months of us being apart during these cycles for 7 years, she would come back and tell me how she made a mistake and how sorry she was. Like a fool, because I was head over heels in love with her, I would take her back.

After 7 years what ended it was a friend of hers that she had always referred to as her pen-pal who lives in the UK, his mother passed away and he was awarded some form of inheritance. Within two weeks she stopped replying to text messages or answering the phone at all. I assumed this was another start of the 6 month/3 month cycle so I just stopped trying. A month later she sent me a text stating she was married and leaving the country. I haven't seen her since.

Back story, we were married for 3 years. This is the same wife that tried to have me arrested for domestic assault a few pages back in this thread. I divorced her after that, but we continued to see each other on and off throughout the next 4 years. She would decide she wanted more, better, etc. then I would start dating someone else and she couldn't handle that I could do better and would come back to wreck what I had, then leave again a few months later. Crazy vicious cycle for far too long.

I still get random emails from her apologizing for what she has done; I got one just a few months ago.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I don't mind at all; that's why we are all here, a gathering of the minds.

I was a terrible husband to my first wife. Although all relationships are a two way street, I should have been a better husband. My second wife treated me exactly how I treated my first. It's the great circle of life. I felt that the lesson for me to learn in the second marriage was being taught how the first wife felt and how to change my behaviors. The pattern with the second wife was that everything would be great for about 6 months and then for 3 months she lost her shit and would go crazy doing stupid things. It took me a while to realize that the pattern had nothing to do with me, it was her. She lacked attention from her father as a child and her mother treated her terribly. The second wife was the prettiest of the 6 daughters that her mother bore and the smartest. Her mother resented her because of this. With this being said, any attention that a man showed her was almost impossible for her to turn down, especially if he was attractive. Basically anytime that a man would show her attention, she would compare me to them. If they had a nicer car, she was gone. If they made more money, she was gone. If they had a bigger dick, she was gone. After 3 months of us being apart during these cycles for 7 years, she would come back and tell me how she made a mistake and how sorry she was. Like a fool, because I was head over heels in love with her, I would take her back.

After 7 years what ended it was a friend of hers that she had always referred to as her pen-pal who lives in the UK, his mother passed away and he was awarded some form of inheritance. Within two weeks she stopped replying to text messages or answering the phone at all. I assumed this was another start of the 6 month/3 month cycle so I just stopped trying. A month later she sent me a text stating she was married and leaving the country. I haven't seen her since.

Back story, we were married for 3 years. This is the same wife that tried to have me arrested for domestic assault a few pages back in this thread. I divorced her after that, but we continued to see each other on and off throughout the next 4 years. She would decide she wanted more, better, etc. then I would start dating someone else and she couldn't handle that I could do better and would come back to wreck what I had, then leave again a few months later. Crazy vicious cycle for far too long.

I still get random emails from her apologizing for what she has done; I got one just a few months ago.

damn... now I completely get why you put that quote in your signature.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

damn... now I completely get why you put that quote in your signature.

You are exactly correct. I loved that woman with a passion that burned hotter than 5 suns. She killed off the person that I once was but much like a phoenix, I arose from my ashes far stronger than I could have ever imagined myself being.

[PshhhhhMW]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

This particular incident was only a small sampling of things to come over the years. They progressively got worse with time. Worst 7 years of my life, hands down.

Aw man, so she kept getting away with it.. ugh sorry man. I grew up with a family of cheaters and learned early on what to look out for.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

You are exactly correct. I loved that woman with a passion that burned hotter than 5 suns. She killed off the person that I once was but much like a phoenix, I arose from my ashes far stronger than I could have ever imagined myself being.

we all have that one girl that makes us realize, "what the fuck" and cause a great term of self-reflection as to where we "messed up". maybe internalizing it isn't exactly a great solution but in the short run it worked out decently for me.

maybe messed up isn't a good way of phrasing it since the girl being that way isn't our fault at all but it still makes for a good wake up call... at least messed up in terms of one's self.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

we all have that one girl that makes us realize, "what the fuck" and cause a great term of self-reflection as to where we "messed up". maybe internalizing it isn't exactly a great solution but in the short run it worked out decently for me.

maybe messed up isn't a good way of phrasing it since the girl being that way isn't our fault at all but it still makes for a good wake up call... at least messed up in terms of one's self.

Exactly. My problem in this situation is that I continued to allow it to happen over how I felt about her. Everyone, even her family warned me of what the outcome would be. I'm just glad she is now someone else's problem to deal with. I feel sorry for that poor bastard.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Exactly. My problem in this situation is that I continued to allow it to happen over how I felt about her. Everyone, even her family warned me of what the outcome would be. I'm just glad she is now someone else's problem to deal with. I feel sorry for that poor bastard.

Well, given he's British, it's about 98.7% certainty that he has lousy discoloured teeth. The sort of look where one might acknowledge that other has a mouthful of teeth, but in no discernible order or fashion, just that they sort of sprouted up randomly.

And she has to deal with that mouth frenching her. Or worse, talking at her on a daily basis. So you might find it to be in order, in the deep cold recesses of your heart, to muster up a little sympathy for her.

Or, if you've not found any sympathy, OT can be a vicious place. Imagine what might happen should her email address be accidentally posted in this thread...what some users might do to convince her they were Jody from a new email address...and the fun that could ensue.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Well, given he's British, it's about 98.7% certainty that he has lousy discoloured teeth. The sort of look where one might acknowledge that other has a mouthful of teeth, but in no discernible order or fashion, just that they sort of sprouted up randomly.

And she has to deal with that mouth frenching her. Or worse, talking at her on a daily basis. So you might find it to be in order, in the deep cold recesses of your heart, to muster up a little sympathy for her.

Or, if you've not found any sympathy, OT can be a vicious place. Imagine what might happen should her email address be accidentally posted in this thread...what some users might do to convince her they were Jody from a new email address...and the fun that could ensue.

I feel no sympathy for her, nor do I concern myself with it at all these days. At one time I often wondered what I could do in order to express my disdain for the events that transpired. It was just a few months later that I realized that the best thing for me to do was live my life. Revenge would only show that I care enough to seek revenge. By doing nothing at all would show that it was killing me to keep it bottled in and yet this still would have some form of control over my life. What I eventually did was improve myself. Not for her, but for me. I now live my life by a standard of what makes me happy rather than wondering how others would perceive my actions. I've come to find that those who used to hate me now respect me, those that used to be friends I found were merely acquaintances and at the end of the day the only person that any of it matters to is me. I listen clearly now when people speak as the words they mutter aren't what they are actually saying. Things that I used to take solace and comfort in were only deterrents of what I needed to be accomplishing in life.

She may have wrecked my life emotionally and financially but it was my fault for allowing it to happen. At the end of it all, she only made me a better man; all the while she can only be who she is and nothing more. As much as I hate to say it, I owe who I am today to her for making me stronger. I don't feel that she did any of the things that she did in order to just straight up hurt me.....well, she did on a few accounts but I feel like she is nothing more than a troubled soul looking for others to heal her. By living life in this fashion she will never find peace as she will expect others to bring it to her, she has to find it on her own. Whether she does or doesn't is on her and is no longer any of my concern.

[CTinline-six]

And people wonder why young guys like me are a bit fearful of getting married...

The odds are not in our favor as far as getting emotionally and financially ruined.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

And people wonder why young guys like me are a bit fearful of getting married...

The odds are not in our favor as far as getting emotionally and financially ruined.

Marriage in my opinion is a dated ideology that goes hand in hand with the "American Dream." This no longer works in our society. Marriage is no longer forming a union between two people who work together in order to keep said union. Marriage in this day and age is a bet you make with someone gambling half of your assets, sanity and health that they won't get tired of your shit before you get tired of theirs.

Unless two people are buying a home together or creating a family, there is absolutely no reason to marry anyone anymore.

My advice, live life and do what makes you happy. Do not ever base your happiness off anther persons actions, you will always be disappointed with the outcome.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Marriage in my opinion is a dated ideology that goes hand in hand with the "American Dream." This no longer works in our society. Marriage is no longer forming a union between two people who work together in order to keep said union. Marriage in this day and age is a bet you make with someone gambling half of your assets, sanity and health that they won't get tired of your shit before you get tired of theirs.

Unless two people are buying a home together or creating a family, there is absolutely no reason to marry anyone anymore.

My advice, live life and do what makes you happy. Do not ever base your happiness off anther persons actions, you will always be disappointed with the outcome.

The reason they call it the "American Dream" is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
- George Carlin. That was a good observation.

[PshhhhhMW]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Marriage in my opinion is a dated ideology that goes hand in hand with the "American Dream." This no longer works in our society. Marriage is no longer forming a union between two people who work together in order to keep said union. Marriage in this day and age is a bet you make with someone gambling half of your assets, sanity and health that they won't get tired of your shit before you get tired of theirs.

Unless two people are buying a home together or creating a family, there is absolutely no reason to marry anyone anymore.

My advice, live life and do what makes you happy. Do not ever base your happiness off anther persons actions, you will always be disappointed with the outcome.

Totally agree. People have been programmed for years making them believe they have to follow a time line for getting married, have kids, and purchasing a home. I tell all my friends all that ideology was designed to control people.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

The reason they call it the "American Dream" is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
- George Carlin. That was a good observation.

That's spot on! Nation of sheep we have become....myself included. We have all become reliant upon the facade that we go to school to learn, get a degree, enter the workforce, make a living, etc. Matrix type scenario. I'm to a point in life where this no longer works for me. A 50 hour work week, although I have a job many would love to have, is now becoming a downfall for me. I want to live my life and enjoy what I have versus simply working to maintain.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Exactly. My problem in this situation is that I continued to allow it to happen over how I felt about her. Everyone, even her family warned me of what the outcome would be. I'm just glad she is now someone else's problem to deal with. I feel sorry for that poor bastard.

oh i know this all too well
you don't realize how bad it was when your fraternity brothers literally tell you to drop her before she renames your contact to "free food" on her phone and you just pass those comments because they're "jealous". jesus

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I feel no sympathy for her, nor do I concern myself with it at all these days. At one time I often wondered what I could do in order to express my disdain for the events that transpired. It was just a few months later that I realized that the best thing for me to do was live my life. Revenge would only show that I care enough to seek revenge. By doing nothing at all would show that it was killing me to keep it bottled in and yet this still would have some form of control over my life. What I eventually did was improve myself. Not for her, but for me. I now live my life by a standard of what makes me happy rather than wondering how others would perceive my actions. I've come to find that those who used to hate me now respect me, those that used to be friends I found were merely acquaintances and at the end of the day the only person that any of it matters to is me. I listen clearly now when people speak as the words they mutter aren't what they are actually saying. Things that I used to take solace and comfort in were only deterrents of what I needed to be accomplishing in life.

She may have wrecked my life emotionally and financially but it was my fault for allowing it to happen. At the end of it all, she only made me a better man; all the while she only be who she is and nothing more. As much as I hate to say it, I owe who I am today to her for making me stronger. I don't feel that she did any of the things that she did in order to just straight up hurt me.....well, she did on a few accounts but I feel like she is nothing more than a troubled soul looking for others to heal her. By living life in this fashion she will never find peace as she will expect others to bring it to her, she has to find it on her own. Whether she does or doesn't is on her and is no longer any of my concern.

on the flip side, i'm with you on that. as much as a shitty experience it was it made me who i am today in terms of dealing with girls.

hell, one of my closest friends now has an orbiter we call the "doormat". doormat sends her expensive gifts every now and then, and i basically make fun of him for being a doormat because those guys rarely learn, but the kid sends prime chicago popcorn., many times i told her to drop it and be upfront with the dude that she's literally just using him and every single fucking time she came up with an excuse not to... recently she told me that after putting a story with her ex the kid basically stopped responding and asked me for help on how to win his darling doormat back, and i told her to not to because i feel bad for the kid... i wish he didn't learn it this way but the truth hurts sometimes