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You know you're old when...
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10-05-2021, 01:05 PM | #3698 |
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Swanson's TV dinners. Saulsbury steak was shit, the turkey wasn't bad. Hitchhiking to high school every day, A&W root beer stands with frozen mugs. Thanksgiving day football with the Bears and Lions, with frozen blood on their faces with steam coming off of their heads. The great George Carlin described it best when he said we are seeing "The pussayforcation of the American male"
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10-06-2021, 06:17 AM | #3699 |
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Sitting in a hot tub with the husband..
He says that the pool makes the junk package shrink, and the hot tub makes it hang. After his complaining about Dick and balls, I said that I wish I could go swimming and have my tits not hang as much. We cackled like 85 yr olds in a retirement home when one tries to eat a hard pretzel without dentures. |
10-06-2021, 07:39 AM | #3700 |
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Get off my lawn!
https://www.yahoo.com/news/off-lawn-...233700724.html A 90-year-old Florida man was arrested after punching a neighbor in the face — twice — because the old-timer was upset about someone being on his lawn, police say.
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I thought I was a good person but the way I react when people drive slowly in the left lane would suggest otherwise
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10-06-2021, 10:23 AM | #3701 |
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When you could pay for a car in goats.
amirite, upstatedoc ??? |
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10-06-2021, 12:28 PM | #3702 | |
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Quote:
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10-06-2021, 01:57 PM | #3703 | |
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This will be me at 90. I also love his wife telling the police that he was lying down and didn't want to talk to them. Was there ever a time in history when something like this would actually hinder police??? "Chief, we found our suspect, but his wife said he was taking a nap and didn't want to be bothered. Foiled again!" What a great story! This has made my day. |
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10-12-2021, 07:16 PM | #3705 |
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...when you're tuning in to the Blue Origin rocket launch webcast tomorrow morning, to watch William Shatner go where no 90-year-old man has gone before.....
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10-12-2021, 07:43 PM | #3706 |
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What time?
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10-12-2021, 11:26 PM | #3708 |
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Listened to this song on the radio today: Sweet Caroline, by Neil Diamond. You know who Caroline was in the song.
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10-13-2021, 05:37 AM | #3709 |
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10-13-2021, 05:39 AM | #3710 |
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10-13-2021, 09:27 AM | #3712 |
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10-13-2021, 09:34 AM | #3713 |
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Is he up already? Fox news says 10 AM Eastern
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10-13-2021, 11:21 AM | #3715 |
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I watched the whole thing. It was kind of cool I guess but honestly I think I'm spoiled with SpaceX stuff which makes this look like child's play. Even the rocket and returning capsule looks "cheap" dare I say? I didn't realize it was going to be such a short trip up and back.
Sending up civilians into deep space for 3 days is a bit more impressive. |
10-13-2021, 11:40 AM | #3717 |
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How many G's did William Shatner's bladder have to endure?
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10-13-2021, 12:07 PM | #3718 | |
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A southerner moves up north
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Dec 8 5:00 pm - it's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful! Dec 9 We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic site. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I shoveled both our drive and sidewalk. Later, a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered our drive with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled our drive again. Dec 10 It snowed an additional 6 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to about 11 degrees. Several limbs from the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled again. Shortly after, the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish-gray. Dec 11 It warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145 to a chiropractor but nothing broken. More snow and ice expected. Dec 12 Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4X4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway and did considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter pane. Had another 8 inches of that white shit last night. Both vehicles covered with salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddam snowplow came by twice today. Dec 13 2 degrees outside. More fuckin' snow. Not a tree or shrub on my property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with a kerosene heater which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2'nd degree burns on my hands and lost most of my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on ice on the way to the emergency room and was totaled!! Dec 14 Goddam mother-fuckin' white shit keeps on coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the fucking mailbox. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow, I'll chew open his chest and rip his heart out. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 60 MPH and buries our drive again. Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in. Dec 15 6 goddam more fuckin' inches of fuckin' snow and fuckin' sleet and fuckin' ice and god knows what other kind of white fuckin's shit fell last night. I wounded the fuckin' snowplow asshole with an ice axe but he got away. Wife left me. The car won't start. I think I'm going snow-blind. I can't move my toes. More fucking snow expected tonight. I'm moving the fuck back to Texas!!!
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