[Crimson92]

Originally Posted by E90SLAM

this one Juan...

lol

I have a present for you in my diaper, ill give you a hint, its not a toaster

[E90SLAM]

more...

Originally Posted by Stewie Griffin
Oh, let me guess. Another box with a crank that I turn and turn and turn until... whoo... a clown pops out. Then you laugh, the kids laugh, the dog laughs, and I die a little more inside.

[E90SLAM]

Originally Posted by Stewie Griffin
Oh, my God, Jeremy's still in the trunk! How long has it been? Two weeks. Nope, he's dead..

[Crimson92]

LOL

[Crimson92]

You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence... gotta get me some of that.
Stewie Griffin

[Crimson92]

[Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus]
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian Griffin: Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian Griffin: Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.
Brian Griffin: You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian Griffin: A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.
Tour guide: I vill hear no more insinuations about the German people. Nothing bad happened. Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland. You will sit down. You will shut up. You will not insult Germany. [Throws his hand up in a Hitler salute.]
Brian Griffin: Uh, is that a beer hall?
Tour guide: [Snapping out of it] Oh yes, Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.

[Crimson92]

There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore.
Stewie Griffin

[Crimson92]

Lois Griffin: What's going on down here?
Stewie Griffin: Oh, we're playing house.
Lois Griffin: That boy's all tied up.
Stewie Griffin: Roman Polanski's house.

[E90SLAM]

HAHAHHAAHHAA....

[Crimson92]

Stewie Griffin: [hitting on some co-eds] I must say, the most recent campus sporting event was quite spectacular.
Co-ed: Aw. Are you in a fraternity, little boy?
Stewie Griffin: Not yet, but I'm thinking of joining I Felta Thigh.

[E90SLAM]

even the re-runs are good....

[Crimson92]

Meg Griffin: Everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie Griffin: Hm, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?

[Crimson92]

Originally Posted by E90SLAM

even the re-runs are good....

oh hell yea

[Crimson92]

watching cheerleaders changing in a locker room] It appears my wee-wee's been stricken with rigor-mortis.

[E90SLAM]

lol

[Crimson92]

Peter Griffin [trying to potty-train Stewie]: Maybe you don't have to pee. I'll just give you some beer, it'll run right through you.
Stewie Griffin: Beautiful. And while we're at it we can light up a dubey and watch porn.
Peter Griffin: Rea... Really?

[Crimson92]

Chris Griffin: What did you get from your boyfriends?
Meg Griffin: Oh you know from my boyfriend, Prince William, I got this beautiful watch, and this diamond tiara, and a sceptre...[goes crazy and runs away crying]
Stewie: She needs to get laid BIG TIME!

[Crimson92]

[In car with Brian, says to police officer] We met on the Internet. He lured me into the car with promises of candy and funny stories.

[Crimson92]

Stewie Griffin [picking a booger]: Does this not disgust you?
Brian Griffin: Kid, you're talkin' to a guy who uses his tongue for toilet paper.

[E90SLAM]

[Quagmire opens up the toilet stall door, saw a HS cheerleader tied up on the floor] Quagmire: JACKPOT!

[Crimson92]

Lois Griffin [finding note in Chris's pocket]: Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that.
Stewie Griffin: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.

[Crimson92]

Originally Posted by E90SLAM

[Quagmire opens up the toilet stall door, saw a HS cheerleader tied up on the floor] Quagmire: JACKPOT!

i remember that one..lol