[Delta0311]

Originally Posted by tony20009

While most of the the rest of your comments are "on point," how is the OP's nationality relevant to whether someone made an insensitive remark and what to do about it? Do people not deserve respect, and should they have no feelings, if they are not Americans?

All the best.

There is a fine line. If I'm cool with you and you tell me some dumbass Polish joke I will laugh and not say a damn thing.. But if I don't really know you and you say something about how dumb Polaks are in front of me then yes I will call you out on it. As far as mimicking accents go, I could fucking care less about that. One chick I work with does a hilarious Eastern European accent, has me rolling, especially with the shit she says.

[P1]

Originally Posted by tony20009

While most of the the rest of your comments are "on point," how is the OP's nationality relevant to whether someone made an insensitive remark and what to do about it? Do people not deserve respect, and should they have no feelings, if they are not Americans?

All the best.

I was referring to myself Tony. As in "the below is written by a foreigner (me) who works in the US.

[tony20009]

Originally Posted by P1et

I was referring to myself Tony. As in "the below is written by a foreigner (me) who works in the US.

Oh. Well, now that puts an entirely different meaning to the post. TY for the clarification.

All the best.

[infamousdiz]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

As a EEO diversity trainer, three things to suggest for you:

1. Report immediately to your next supervisory chain while reporting to the EEO officer of your company.

2. Depending where you live you are protected by State/county EEO laws as well.

3. Do not be afraid to report and document everything. Believe it or not, this may even have implications on your promotions if you don't do anything.

It's an unfortunate reality of living in the U.S. that racism still exists in more subtle, evil ways. Be confident in yourself and don't take shit from anyone.

people rather get a root canal than attend your seminars and training.

[gtron]

Originally Posted by V1.47fan

"Oriental" represents of a region, like "Chinese" can represent people or things.

Example: He's Chinese. I like Chinese food.

Nobody in his right mind thinks using "Chinese" is reducing people to food.

*sigh*

you can refuse to accept it and possibly offend people if you like. you can then follow up with them and say "what? it's a region!" you can even pretend nobody ever told you. guess what... someone did tell you.

from Webster learner's dictionary:
old-fashioned
: of, relating to, or from Asia and especially eastern Asia
I like oriental food.
oriental art
◊ The adjective Oriental is now often considered offensive when it is used to describe a person. The adjective Asian should be used instead
http://www.learnersdictionary.com/definition/oriental


if you would like to force the issue to justify your response you can apply number 4.

1 often capitalized : of, relating to, or situated in Asia
2
a : of superior grade, luster, or value
b : being corundum or sapphire but simulating another gem in color
3 often capitalized sometimes offensive : Asian
4 capitalized : of, relating to, or constituting the biogeographic region that includes Asia south and southeast of the Himalayas and the Malay Archipelago west of Wallace's line
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/oriental


good luck, hillbilly. <-- that was suppose to be ironic so with me.

really i'm just passing along information that i learned in very large corporations where everyone is hypersensitive, traveling, and marrying someone not from the usa.

[GraphiteBrawler]

I suffer from harassment all the time.

People walk up behind me and pet my beard in the office. My beard has feelings, and demands it's own personal space. It pay's its own taxes, it warrant's respect.


Edit: IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by GraphiteBrawler

I suffer from harassment all the time.

People walk up behind me and pet my beard in the office. My beard has feelings, and demands it's own personal space. It pay's its own taxes, it warrant's respect.


Edit: IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

Hahaha!! I have a coworker with a big beard and a girl pets it. I always feel awkward for him when she does that.

PS: as a grammar nazi, you have used three apostrophes where they were not needed

PPS: probably not the right thread to use the term Nazi

[John 070]

You don't often call your friends ignorant, but I have one that started to act that way with her kid going to college. She claims that because her kid is 1/2 Asian, he is therefore Asian, that he did not have a chance to go to an elite college as far as admissions goes. I find that utter bunk.

When I emailed her links to kids that got in all Ivy League schools, she claimed it was because they were black. How ignorant is that?

The attrition rates are so low at elite colleges, a kid gets accepted, that kid can finish. Not every kid can handle the competition and work load.

As far as being politically correct, it's so huge nowadays. Because of my strong view that anyone accepted at an elite school qualifies, it's like we're no longer friends.

I can say this which I never said to her, if my kid goes to prep school from 3rd grade - 12th, and it's a 50k/yr. prep school, and he turns out like hers, I would be really disappointed. I think that's why she's being so ignorant and racist.

[sygazelle]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

If you speak to any EEO officer, prevention and awareness at the earliest stage of possible infraction is highly recommended. But hey, best advice should come from your company's EEO officer, your shop steward and even your states's EEO office.

You can doubt me which you of course have a right. Letting this behavior go on is really sad. Some people can commiserate, other just are just critics that can't offer anything to the table.

What is your opinion if you care to help?

I fully appreciate the roles of HR and EEOC in the workplace. Employees need a place to go if they have issues. However, immediate formal escalation is not the first avenue of resolution I would recommend in this case. You asked my opinion if I care to help. I already responded to the OP back in post 42.

If the OP is comfortable discussing the situation one-on-one with the other person, it might not only resolve issue on the spot but may serve to educate the offender in a way a training class cannot; a real life teachable moment. Based on the offender's reaction to the one-on-one discussion, the OP can take formal options immediately if necessary. No time needs to be lost.

Immediate escalation is good advice as company policy for the main purpose of limiting the company's liability. IMO, it's not always the best choice for the employees.

[pukicabuki]

This whole thread reminds me of this....

[Bobble]

As a manager in a very large company with 14 direct reports I've had to deal with a harassment complaint directed towards one of my former employees. Not fun and going to HR right off the bat, while technically the legal thing to do is way over the top. Working it out amongst adults and peers is always preferred.
I had a support employee who helped everyone and was friendly asset to the group; we had a developer who is a female and wore completely inappropriate clothing to the work place not to mention proceeded to have some enhancements done that were outrageous in nature, think Dolly Parton style, and loved to ask for coding help and then bend over across your desk. Anyhow she filed against my employee after keeping a scorecard of the times he looked and the final straw was at an off site team building bowling event when she wore basically a belt, lace camisole and sheer white blouse to bowl in, Well you can imagine the view and the comments said. Ruined my employees chances of moving up, she sued the company after filing on him. I had a rule she was to be dealt with not in person which got me in trouble but I did not want her trapping any more of my people. Point is people need to try and solve an issue on their own before escalating. I lost my best person as I suggested he just look for a new job as it was going to be hard to get him moved up the company ladder and he was better than the position he was in and she was just looking for a free way out as she sucked as a coder and used her self to her advantage. I believe she has not worked since but got a settlement for sexual harassment.

[GlobalScientist]

Bobble,

I see your point. It's not a fun thing for anyone, but the EEO offices pushes for earliest reporting. Not sure it prevents your examples from happening.

Worse are folks that know the EEO rules and abuse them - employees and bosses alike.

I guess minorities/women will always get the short end because people like to put down people and meekness loses - just look at the posts on this thread - instead of helping they get satisfaction putting people down. Sad way to gain self-esteem..

GS

[GlobalScientist]

Originally Posted by sygazelle

I fully appreciate the roles of HR and EEOC in the workplace. Employees need a place to go if they have issues. However, immediate formal escalation is not the first avenue of resolution I would recommend in this case. You asked my opinion if I care to help. I already responded to the OP back in post 42.

If the OP is comfortable discussing the situation one-on-one with the other person, it might not only resolve issue on the spot but may serve to educate the offender in a way a training class cannot; a real life teachable moment. Based on the offender's reaction to the one-on-one discussion, the OP can take formal options immediately if necessary. No time needs to be lost.

Immediate escalation is good advice as company policy for the main purpose of limiting the company's liability. IMO, it's not always the best choice for the employees.

You're right. Sometimes EEO rules can be foregone if people have the capacity to work out their issues. But work is work, not responsible for fixing someone broken childhood or inherited playground bullying.

That said, EEO is still approached during the informal counseling stage. Talking to an EEO officer doesn't mean lawyers and court right away. It puts a mediator in place and make sure things are fair. Not meant to make someone lose face, but it's not perfect - resolution is the main goal to avoid filing a grievance.

[Biorin]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

Bobble,

I see your point. It's not a fun thing for anyone, but the EEO offices pushes for earliest reporting. Not sure it prevents your examples from happening.

Worse are folks that know the EEO rules and abuse them - employees and bosses alike.

I guess minorities/women will always get the short end because people like to put down people and meekness loses - just look at the posts on this thread - instead of helping they get satisfaction putting people down. Sad way to gain self-esteem..

GS

Are you saying that minorities and women will get the short end of the stick because they are the only ones that get put down, and that they are all meek? That, to me, is more "insensitive" than any fried rice comment someone might make.

I see straight white males (and I'm an Asian female, for the record) blamed for nearly every single one of society's ills today, and heaven forbid you try to defend yourself or express a dissenting opinion, because you'll get labeled a racist or a bigot.

As far as meekness goes, I don't think that kind of generic stereotyping is what they want you go practice, no? I may be typically soft-spoken, but I wouldn't hesitate to defend myself if I felt someone insulted me. That being said, not sure someone could actually insult me based on any of that stuff, because I'd either find it hilarious or not be concerned with the opinion of someone so narrow minded.

[Bobble]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

Bobble,

I see your point. It's not a fun thing for anyone, but the EEO offices pushes for earliest reporting. Not sure it prevents your examples from happening.

Worse are folks that know the EEO rules and abuse them - employees and bosses alike.

I guess minorities/women will always get the short end because people like to put down people and meekness loses - just look at the posts on this thread - instead of helping they get satisfaction putting people down. Sad way to gain self-esteem..

GS

Here's my point though, if she would have said something to him it would have stopped right there, in turn if she said something to me likewise because I would have said quit soliciting the input, IE bending over right in front of every guy and letting the boobs pop out and then going oh my and reaching to cover one or the other. I saw this at least 3 times. Instead because she has the EEO and state worried about harassment she instigates she keeps a scorecard and goes to HR and files with 3 past incidents and one current one. They pretty much look at her and say slow down on the complaint and BTW the inappropriate attire and behavior(because her own manager a female documented telling her multiple times about it) has to stop, she sues, gets settlement and is out. She knew what she was doing and set the trap because she had the legislative backing to do so. EEO is a good thing but honestly in my professional experience it's abused time and again.

[John 070]

Originally Posted by Biorin

Are you saying that minorities and women will get the short end of the stick because they are the only ones that get put down, and that they are all meek? That, to me, is more "insensitive" than any fried rice comment someone might make.

I see straight white males (and I'm an Asian female, for the record) blamed for nearly every single one of society's ills today, and heaven forbid you try to defend yourself or express a dissenting opinion, because you'll get labeled a racist or a bigot.

As far as meekness goes, I don't think that kind of generic stereotyping is what they want you go practice, no? I may be typically soft-spoken, but I wouldn't hesitate to defend myself if I felt someone insulted me. That being said, not sure someone could actually insult me based on any of that stuff, because I'd either find it hilarious or not be concerned with the opinion of someone so narrow minded.

Actually I was speaking to a retired detective once, and he told me that there is a certain race that is generally riding the subway day in, day out, and they often prey on Asians, because Asians often either do not fight back, or they allow the crime to take place without incident, nor report. This is just what he said. He is the same race as the race he said are the perps, before anyone gets all up in arms.

Believe me when I say detectives are on the side of victims, and they despise criminals. But they are rather hardened based on their experience.

[Biorin]

Originally Posted by John 070

Actually I was speaking to a retired detective once, and he told me that there is a certain race that is generally riding the subway day in, day out, and they often prey on Asians, because Asians often either do not fight back, or they allow the crime to take place without incident, nor report. This is just what he said. He is the same race as the race he said are the perps, before anyone gets all up in arms.

Believe me when I say detectives are on the side of victims, and they despise criminals. But they are rather hardened based on their experience.

That doesn't surprise me, I guess my point was more of the fact that he's insinuating women and minorities will never be on top because they're the ones that are timid. It's a bit ironic, in my opinion, to be saying that there's all this "subtle, evil" racism etc and then make comments that are in the same vein.

Edit: To clarify, I'm not "offended" or disagreeing, I'm just a bit tired of the constant suggestion that only women and minorities have it difficult, they're the only ones being oppressed, that those qualities are the only reason they're not more prominent, etc etc. Don't intend to open a can of worms here.

[DSB335d]

I'll just put this here...

[Needbmwpartzz]

Originally Posted by DSB335d

I'll just put this here...

[V1.47fan]

Originally Posted by gtron

*sigh*

you can refuse to accept it and possibly offend people if you like. you can then follow up with them and say "what? it's a region!" you can even pretend nobody ever told you. guess what... someone did tell you.

from Webster learner's dictionary:
old-fashioned
: of, relating to, or from Asia and especially eastern Asia
I like oriental food.
oriental art
◊ The adjective Oriental is NOW often considered offensive when it is used to describe a person. The adjective Asian should be used instead
http://www.learnersdictionary.com/definition/oriental


if you would like to force the issue to justify your response you can apply number 4.

1 often capitalized : of, relating to, or situated in Asia
2
a : of superior grade, luster, or value
b : being corundum or sapphire but simulating another gem in color
3 often capitalized sometimes offensive : Asian
4 capitalized : of, relating to, or constituting the biogeographic region that includes Asia south and southeast of the Himalayas and the Malay Archipelago west of Wallace's line
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/oriental


good luck, hillbilly. <-- that was suppose to be ironic so with me.

really i'm just passing along information that i learned in very large corporations where everyone is hypersensitive, traveling, and marrying someone not from the usa.

Some people now consider "Yankee" as offensive too...when i was in Europe and heard people call Americans, yankees, i didn't cry like a lil bitch.
I don't like playing the victim.