[Nachbar]

Just heard,a good friend and Neighbor got cancer. They have 3 little kids. This hits me hard. I never had problems, when grownups get seriously sick or die. But when there are kids involved, it really hits me hard.

Don’t worry, I’m a stable person and I will be fine. Also I offered my helping hand.

[Tommy-G]

This is probably the ONLY good side to not having a lot of family. Not a lot of heartbreak. I always dated italian girls growing up and it seemed like once a month or more we were at a wake.

I tend to go numb and not handle losses very well or comforting. It stemmed from being young and ALWAYS involved with trying to help everyone and comfort them. As of recent I became much more introverted and tend to shut down

[bagekko]

Similar recent story as OP. Wife's aunt few months ago found out had a huge tumor in abdomen, had it removed. Her daughter 34yrs after getting info from mothers doctor and hearing about family history goes to Dr. Had genetic test done which reveals she has some trait and also ovarian cancer. She has two kids under 4yrs. Every female on the mothers bloodline has died at various ages from cancer. The trait they have results in cancers resistant to all types of treatment. Aunt just passed this week after her tumor came back, they are trying things to help the daughter but not looking good.

Wife now says we are all getting genetic testing for cancer susceptibility. Prefer not to know and just live life, when stuff happens then will deal with it.

[Esteban]

My mom died when I was young. My sisters and I took it hard. It was bad but it taught me a very important life lesson while I was still young; death is part of life. Nothing hurt as bad as that but since then I feel like I'm ready for anything life has in store for me.

My older sister died several years ago from uterine cancer. I loved her so much and I will miss her dearly. Of course it hurt but I dealt with it and got over it. Now I just have loving memories of her.

[JMcLellan]

I feel pretty lucky at this point in my life to have had my surrounding family in good health. At some point though with my aging parents stuff is bound to pop up. Also, I have a crap aortic valve already showing signs of stenosis. At some point I will need a replacement valve.

I have a friend who has a 4 year old son. When her son was 2 years old he was diagnosed with a very rare and high-risk form of cancer. Long story short the kid went through about a year and a half of treatment and is now 100% cancer free and there is little to no risk of it coming back. But what is twisted is that my friend was working for Make a Wish Foundation for several years, and specifically supporting kids with childhood cancer leading up to her son getting sick. I'd like to think the world was preparing her for how to deal with her own kid getting cancer.

[bucketfoot]

I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but I've always had an easy time with death, despite having lost my mom when I was only 37 and my dad when I was 45.

To me it is an inevitable part of life.

I actually have a harder time dealing with the death of pets than of family.

[Esteban]

Originally Posted by JMcLellan

I feel pretty lucky at this point in my life to have had my surrounding family in good health. At some point though with my aging parents stuff is bound to pop up. Also, I have a crap aortic valve already showing signs of stenosis. At some point I will need a replacement valve.

I have a friend who has a 4 year old son. When her son was 2 years old he was diagnosed with a very rare and high-risk form of cancer. Long story short the kid went through about a year and a half of treatment and is now 100% cancer free and there is little to no risk of it coming back. But what is twisted is that my friend was working for Make a Wish Foundation for several years, and specifically supporting kids with childhood cancer leading up to her son getting sick. I'd like to think the world was preparing her for how to deal with her own kid getting cancer.

That's one thing I have to say would be hard to watch is your kid getting sick and possibly dying from some disease like cancer. Can't say how I'd handle that. Hope my kids and I never have to go through that. Especially, of course, my kids. I want to die before them; the way it's meant to be. As the saying goes, "no parent should have to watch their own child die."

[3.0L]

The Agent Orange boogie man is rattling my cage. Recently learned that I have 3 of the "presumed" health afflictions caused by exposure to AO. I've been dealing with one of them (before "presumed") for over 20 years.

I made a claim to the VA but at best, all they will do is give me a monthly benefit check, which will do nothing to cure my chronic kidney disease. I'm the only one in our family to have CKD - no family history whatsoever.

So how do I deal with this news? Well, I've had a good life. Some of my buddies and classmates didn't live past age 20.

[Esteban]

Originally Posted by 3.0L

The Agent Orange boogie man is rattling my cage. Recently learned that I have 3 of the "presumed" health afflictions caused by exposure to AO. I've been dealing with one of them (before "presumed") for over 20 years.

I made a claim to the VA but at best, all they will do is give me a monthly benefit check, which will do nothing to cure my chronic kidney disease. I'm the only one in our family to have CKD - no family history whatsoever.

So how do I deal with this news? Well, I've had a good life. Some of my buddies and classmates didn't live past age 20.

Sorry to hear this 3.0L. My wife has kidney disease as well. Just asked her and she said it was stage 2, though I thought it was worse than that. Can it get better?

[Esteban]

^ Did a quick search and found this:

While it's not possible to reverse kidney damage, you can take steps to slow it down. Taking prescribed medicine, being physically active, and eating well will help. You'll also feel better and improve your overall well-being.

https://www.cdc.gov/kidneydisease/pu...20well%2Dbeing.

[tranquility]

OP, you're a good person thinking of your neighbor. It's tough. Cancer is a @#$#$. I lost my dad just before I finished highschool. During the graduation ceremony, I really put my best friend on the spot saying it felt weird that both my parents weren't there to attend (mom was w loved ones on some vacation trying to clear her mind). Poor guy just stood there speechless.

The thing is I dunno if I really learned from that experience, at least I dunno how it affected me, maybe on a subconscious level it did, but it's not as if it motivated me to do something great.

Things like what happens to certain ppl really make me wonder like why does a pos driving drunk leave an accident unscathed while killing a whole family that went out to buy some Father's Day gift with the poor dude waiting forever at home for his departed family? Sometimes life is just supremely unfair and ridiculous.

[3.0L]

Originally Posted by Esteban

Sorry to hear this 3.0L. My wife has kidney disease as well. Just asked her and she said it was stage 2, though I thought it was worse than that. Can it get better?

From what I understand, chronic kidney disease cannot be reversed. However, it is possible to slow the progression with diet and medication. I'm at stage 3, which means my kidneys are about 50% efficient, and that works just fine as long as it doesn't progress much further. I feel pretty good. The difference between my lab numbers a year ago and recently are only 1 point, so that is good news. If I can hold that line, I'll likely croak of something else.

[3.0L]

Originally Posted by tranquility

OP, you're a good person thinking of your neighbor. It's tough. Cancer is a @#$#$. I lost my dad just before I finished highschool. During the graduation ceremony, I really put my best friend on the spot saying it felt weird that both my parents weren't there to attend (mom was w loved ones on some vacation trying to clear her mind). Poor guy just stood there speechless.

The thing is I dunno if I really learned from that experience, at least I dunno how it affected me, maybe on a subconscious level it did, but it's not as if it motivated me to do something great.

Things like what happens to certain ppl really make me wonder like why does a pos driving drunk leave an accident unscathed while killing a whole family that went out to buy some Father's Day gift with the poor dude waiting forever at home for his departed family? Sometimes life is just supremely unfair and ridiculous.

I've been struggling with that thought for over 50 years. As I've mentioned elsewhere on this forum, 5 very fine young men from our high school were killed in Vietnam. Four of them were from my graduating class of '65. One of them was drafted the same day I was and we ended up sharing the same, crappy hotel room near the induction center in central L.A. He was a very nice fellow. All but one were 20 years old when they died. The other one was a ripe old age of 22. I think of the marriages that didn't happen and on and on. It's difficult to accept.

[tranquility]

Originally Posted by 3.0L

I've been struggling with that thought for over 50 years. As I've mentioned elsewhere on this forum, 5 very fine young men from our high school were killed in Vietnam. Four of them were from my graduating class of '65. One of them was drafted the same day I was and we ended up sharing the same, crappy hotel room near the induction center in central L.A. He was a very nice fellow. All but one were 20 years old when they died. The other one was a ripe old age of 22. I think of the marriages that didn't happen and on and on. It's difficult to accept.

I hear ya, and you're literally battle-hardened/scarred, so I'm sure you've had lots of think about, much, much more than the avg person. I dunno, I really wonder about the world sometimes in very philosophical/abstract ways, w my limited monkey brain, trying to make sense of it. When I see all those cruel examples, I really start to doubt things.