[UltimateBMW]

Found this, thought it was funny.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[MJC///M3]

that is fucking hysterical!!!!!

[endofanera7]

[pmeloche]

That is so old and yet very funny.

This story is very nice to read.
then how your days going with out sharing your bed.

[alq80]

beautiful

[guardianangel3290]

hahaha

[Highflyr]

nice!!! Good laugh

[MCMLXXXIX]

LMAO!!!
that is genius!

[Geoffo]

Read that before somewhere, but still makes me laugh..

[zenderm3]

Originally Posted by pmeloche

That is so old and yet very funny.

so true +1

[Pink Taco]

LOL!! bravo bravo

[Easternedge]

Hahaha

[jibaholic101]

that is fucking golden

[Nexlevmm]

haha at least the bitch knows im smarter than her...love it.

[BerkTechnology]

and boom goes the dynamite.

[3ThirtyXi]

LAMO!!!

[Bimmer Nerd]

hahah LOL