[NemesisX]

Originally Posted by Naz24

Best. Advice. Ever.

I've actually heard that recently divorce rates among 'us' millennials is going up because everybody moves in with eachother before getting engaged and get complacent, end up getting married, and the problems start.

Moving in with each other before getting engaged sounds like a step in the right direction, though.

You want to see how you would function living with the other person for a good amount of time (year, 2 years?)

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Dogeeseegod

Millennials are actually marrying near their 30's and are experiencing a lower divorce rate than previous generations. I agree that you guys do seem a bit jaded. It might be a good reminder that you shouldn't limit yourself by the things you want in your perfect partner, rather, be open to good chemistry with someone, love them for what they can provide for you and forgive them for what they cannot. You just might find your soul mate in the place you least expect it.

Ahhhhh....a hopeless romantic. You guys always make me smile and internally chuckle. Some say jaded, I consider it enlightened to the ways of human nature. There will be a woman come into your life that soon enough that will rip your heart out through your knee caps....she will be your soul mate.

Originally Posted by PshhhhhMW

You lost all credibility when you said soul mate. Call us jaded all you want but learn from all these stories. Millennials may be getting married later but one thing that's always going to remain the same is human nature. Marriage and the idea of soulmates was invented by Hollywood. Marriage was all about a financial partnership until Hollywood turned it into a fairytale and a whole industry was born

Can you find somebody that will come close to your idea of a soul mate? Sure! Just know that theres billions of people out there all with different up bringing and traumas experienced than you have which makes it super difficult to live happily ever after. The point is, its okay.

Just dont stay in a toxic relationship just to fulfill that idea of happily ever after and soul mates.

This. Every single word.

[Dogeeseegod]

Soul mate is another term I use for life partner. Someone you can count on to work through the hard times and will stay by your side until whatever is causing the waves gets figured out. A person with real dedication to themselves, first, and then to you. It takes two strong, independent people to make most relationships work, imo. I am a hopeless romantic, truth be told :P but my family and extended family have shown me how accepting real love into your heart will help you see that the person you have will be the person you always have if you care enough to understand them. I am on my second marriage and after the stress and chaos I caused in my first, I realize now that if you decide to get married you really need to understand and practice sacrifice, dedication and empathy if it's going to work. My wife isn't something to be had, won or possess. She's her own star in an infinite galaxy and I am thankful everyday that I had the gravity to attract her and I work everyday to keep that gravity strong!

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Dogeeseegod

Soul mate is another term I use for life partner. Someone you can count on to work through the hard times and will stay by your side until whatever is causing the waves gets figured out. A person with real dedication to themselves, first, and then to you. It takes two strong, independent people to make most relationships work, imo. I am a hopeless romantic, truth be told :P but my family and extended family have shown me how accepting real love into your heart will help you see that the person you have will be the person you always have if you care enough to understand them. I am on my second marriage and after the stress and chaos I caused in my first, I realize now that if you decide to get married you really need to understand and practice sacrifice, dedication and empathy if it's going to work. My wife isn't something to be had, won or possess. She's her own star in an infinite galaxy and I am thankful everyday that I had the gravity to attract her and I work everyday to keep that gravity strong!

I can respect much of what you said here although I have learned not to be dependent or as you say "count on" anyone else. Life happens and people change. Again, I do respect much of what you stated.

[PA135ii]

I have an interesting story to tell and this is as good a place as any.

At my previous employer (worked there 1985-2000) had my eye on a girl that was not in my department, we played company volleyball together after work. At the time she was married so I had no real interest, other than I could see she was attractive and a nice person.

Fast forward to 1995 and I find out through the grapevine that she was getting a divorce. I approached her trying to feel her out on whether she would want to go out with me. Turns out she was in a relationship and nicely told me that she wanted to see how things would go with this guy first.

I leave said company in 2001 and in 2014 I find out my former coworkers got together once a year at a bar to catch up. I decide to go out of curiosity.
This girl walks in "alone" and looks pretty good for mid-fifties.
We start talking and I could tell she wanted to date me.. but I was used to single lifestyle and wanted to remain living that way.

She started sending me emails and I finally decide to go out with her in 2016. An already long story short. She moved in this past September after selling her house and things are stressful at times because of the adjustment
for both of us. Most of the time things are fine.. but she says sometimes she is down and feels lost?..... Bigger adjustment for her than me but I'm a little worried on what if things don't work out. Guess... time will tell.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Dogeeseegod

Bad Experience:

After my first divorce I dated a lot of girls that I met in college. 1 in particular I don't keep in contact with because of many bad experiences. I met her at a show I was playing for a birthday party. She's a great looking girl who seems to have her life on track with the exception of being a psychology major forgiven and moving on lol. We hooked up that first night and all was well except her asking me to not use protection because its her preference. I'm in college, I met you 3 hours ago. I'm using protection. The next day she calls me to go out to dinner and I am excited to see her so I agree. I meet her at a local Italian place and when I get there she's at the bar and a little tipsy. I sit at the bar with her and have a few and she gets WASTED. beer beer, shot shot shot shot shot shot..WASTED. She wants to go back to my place and I agree. I call a cab. She throws a fit that I won't drive my car. I've had 3 beers and a shot and I live 20 minutes away, I'd rather not drive, honestly. After her tirade ends we take the cab back to my place and I set up a nice fire for us in the living room. She excuses herself to the bathroom, vomits everywhere and falls into the bathtub, then starts screaming for help (literally at the top of her lungs). Now my roommate is up and upset about the whole incident. I get her wound down and then the police show up at my door because my neighbors heard screaming...After they tell me that I'm trying to rape this girl, they offer to drive her home. I agree with them, she should go home. She attempts to fight both police officers so that she can stay and they literally just left they were so annoyed. At this point she's going to pass out, so I clean her up and take her to my bedroom and put her to bed. I still have explaining to do with my roommate, so I go out to the living room and have "the talk" about what is acceptable and what isn't when sharing a house. Drunk girl is back! This time slurring her speech so bad I can't understand her, naked and trying to jump my nuts on the couch in front of my roommate. I take her back to my room where I find that she has pissed in my bed and taken apart my closet... I am a patient person, I promise. At this point I get upset and she starts crying. I'm hugging her crying naked body when she finally passes out again. I go out and sleep on the couch, furious but trying to find forgiveness. I have overdrank, too. It happens. The next morning she says she never wants to talk to me again because of how rude I was to her last night. I totally agree with her. I was out of line, good bye. For the next month this girl calls me all the time and breaks into my house to sleep in my bed with me (coming in through my window that she broke the lock on). I had to quietly move to not see her again. I also deleted my facebook and myspace accounts for almost 3 months. When I reopened my facebook...I had to have a police officer tell her that I was getting a restraining order on her. She texts me that I'm a pussy because I couldn't just tell her how I felt. I refer her to about 200 texts messages. Luckily she went to jail soon after this for DUI, assaulting an officer and possession of prescription drugs. I was AFRAID of women for a while after this whole shenanigan...

That's a good one!

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by PA135ii

I have an interesting story to tell and this is as good a place as any.

At my previous employer (worked there 1985-2000) had my eye on a girl that was not in my department, we played company volleyball together after work. At the time she was married so I had no real interest, other than I could see she was attractive and a nice person.

Fast forward to 1995 and I find out through the grapevine that she was getting a divorce. I approached her trying to feel her out on whether she would want to go out with me. Turns out she was in a relationship and nicely told me that she wanted to see how things would go with this guy first.

I leave said company in 2001 and in 2014 I find out my former coworkers got together once a year at a bar to catch up. I decide to go out of curiosity.
This girl walks in "alone" and looks pretty good for mid-fifties.
We start talking and I could tell she wanted to date me.. but I was used to single lifestyle and wanted to remain living that way.

She started sending me emails and I finally decide to go out with her in 2016. An already long story short. She moved in this past September after selling her house and things are stressful at times because of the adjustment
for both of us. Most of the time things are fine.. but she says sometimes she is down and feels lost?..... Bigger adjustment for her than me but I'm a little worried on what if things don't work out. Guess... time will tell.

Wow.....that's quite the time line in attraction. That's cool that after all those years that you still ended up together on whatever level. What are your concerns exactly in the event that things do not work out, if you don't mind my asking.

[PA135ii]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Wow.....that's quite the time line in attraction. That's cool that after all those years that you still ended up together on whatever level. What are your concerns exactly in the event that things do not work out, if you don't mind my asking.

Just that she lives in my house and would not be a pleasant experience to go through. She has money from her house sale. So she could buy a property. I have never lived full time with anyone before. That's probably part of it.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Dogeeseegod

She is not a member of this forum, to my knowledge. She could care less about cars except in supporting me. I'm 33 and I admire my wife for being a college educated mindful mother, a teacher, a supportive wife, a reliable sibling and otherwise inspiring person to be around. I tell her these things and I truly believe them.

/preach end

Bad Experience:

After my first divorce I dated a lot of girls that I met in college. 1 in particular I don't keep in contact with because of many bad experiences. I met her at a show I was playing for a birthday party. She's a great looking girl who seems to have her life on track with the exception of being a psychology major forgiven and moving on lol. We hooked up that first night and all was well except her asking me to not use protection because its her preference. I'm in college, I met you 3 hours ago. I'm using protection. The next day she calls me to go out to dinner and I am excited to see her so I agree. I meet her at a local Italian place and when I get there she's at the bar and a little tipsy. I sit at the bar with her and have a few and she gets WASTED. beer beer, shot shot shot shot shot shot..WASTED. She wants to go back to my place and I agree. I call a cab. She throws a fit that I won't drive my car. I've had 3 beers and a shot and I live 20 minutes away, I'd rather not drive, honestly. After her tirade ends we take the cab back to my place and I set up a nice fire for us in the living room. She excuses herself to the bathroom, vomits everywhere and falls into the bathtub, then starts screaming for help (literally at the top of her lungs). Now my roommate is up and upset about the whole incident. I get her wound down and then the police show up at my door because my neighbors heard screaming...After they tell me that I'm trying to rape this girl, they offer to drive her home. I agree with them, she should go home. She attempts to fight both police officers so that she can stay and they literally just left they were so annoyed. At this point she's going to pass out, so I clean her up and take her to my bedroom and put her to bed. I still have explaining to do with my roommate, so I go out to the living room and have "the talk" about what is acceptable and what isn't when sharing a house. Drunk girl is back! This time slurring her speech so bad I can't understand her, naked and trying to jump my nuts on the couch in front of my roommate. I take her back to my room where I find that she has pissed in my bed and taken apart my closet... I am a patient person, I promise. At this point I get upset and she starts crying. I'm hugging her crying naked body when she finally passes out again. I go out and sleep on the couch, furious but trying to find forgiveness. I have overdrank, too. It happens. The next morning she says she never wants to talk to me again because of how rude I was to her last night. I totally agree with her. I was out of line, good bye. For the next month this girl calls me all the time and breaks into my house to sleep in my bed with me (coming in through my window that she broke the lock on). I had to quietly move to not see her again. I also deleted my facebook and myspace accounts for almost 3 months. When I reopened my facebook...I had to have a police officer tell her that I was getting a restraining order on her. She texts me that I'm a pussy because I couldn't just tell her how I felt. I refer her to about 200 texts messages. Luckily she went to jail soon after this for DUI, assaulting an officer and possession of prescription drugs. I was AFRAID of women for a while after this whole shenanigan...

You are a patient person. Asking you to not use protection after knowing her for 3 hours should've been the first sign. If she "prefers it" she probably has a lot of things you would prefer not to have.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by PA135ii

Just that she lives in my house and would not be a pleasant experience to go through. She has money from her house sale. So she could buy a property. I have never lived full time with anyone before. That's probably part of it.

Gotcha, that is definitely a huge change in lifestyle. It is good that she has money and isn't dependent on you financially. Having a cohabitant has it pro's. The company is nice and having someone else around to assist with house functions and duties is nice. I imagine things are quite awkward at the moment.

[Dogeeseegod]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

You are a patient person. Asking you to not use protection after knowing her for 3 hours should've been the first sign. If she "prefers it" she probably has a lot of things you would prefer not to have.

Seriously. I did wonder how many guys she'd been with using her "preferred" method. Not going down on that one lol. I was too naïve to understand the giant GTFO! signs that were popping up.

[upstatedoc]

went to see "Vice" with Joanne (is that better) last night. i like Joanne, i've known her for a while but she is still healing from a terrible divorce, restraining orders etc.. she told me to be patient with her

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

went to see "Vice" with Joanne (is that better) last night. i like Joanne, i've known her for a while but she is still healing from a terrible divorce, restraining orders etc.. she told me to be patient with her

Friend zoned at the first movie - smh


chain <- pulled

[******]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

went to see "Vice" with Joanne (is that better) last night. i like Joanne, i've known her for a while but she is still healing from a terrible divorce, restraining orders etc.. she told me to be patient with her

You should have pulled the old popcorn box trick...

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

went to see "Vice" with Joanne (is that better) last night. i like Joanne, i've known her for a while but she is still healing from a terrible divorce, restraining orders etc.. she told me to be patient with her

Aren't we all healing from something? This sounds like pass, pass and pass to me.

[PshhhhhMW]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Aren't we all healing from something? This sounds like pass, pass and pass to me.

Healing from a divorce sounds like the new version of I'm not going to commit until I find something better tbh. Which is cool as long as shes putting out.



On a more serious note, simpler is always better. If your first date already comes with a bunch of warnings, watch out!

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by PshhhhhMW

Healing from a divorce sounds like the new version of I'm not going to commit until I find something better tbh. Which is cool as long as shes putting out.

DING DING DING!!! Also sound like an excuse not to put out. I'd rather have a girl that doesn't use a rubber crutch and isn't afraid to admitting to wanting/needed it just as much as I do. I have no time for games.

[******]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

went to see "Vice" with Joanne (is that better) last night. i like Joanne, i've known her for a while but she is still healing from a terrible divorce, restraining orders etc.. she told me to be patient with her

To be “patient”... and you’re a doc?

There’s lots of jokes in there somewhere but I don’t want to be insensitive... haha...

[******]

Actually, I think Joann sounds sensible...

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Aren't we all healing from something? This sounds like pass, pass and pass to me.

No puff and puff in there at all?

Originally Posted by Herdalum

Actually, I think Joann sounds sensible...

Yes, until you find out her last name is "OfArc". I'm really wondering if they should be doing tests of the water where Doc is from. Could be the next Flint, Michigan.

[******]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

No puff and puff in there at all?




Yes, until you find out her last name is "OfArc". I'm really wondering if they should be doing tests of the water where Doc is from. Could be the next Flint, Michigan.

Except we know her real name isn’t Joann... or Joanna or anything normal. Doc doesn’t date girls with normal names. This probably was Kerie from Mexican night or if it’s really a new one her name might be Johandy or something...

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

No puff and puff in there at all?

Sadly not anymore. Gotta keep the pee pee clean these days. Being gainfully employed > love of the herb.