Post a picture of how you imagine other forum members looks like

UncleWede · 08-07-2015, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kscarrol

To test his blood sugar we would have to go to another room etc. He has matured and now doesn't hold this view but I get it...

I STILL enjoy the shock value of pulling up my shirt and "shooting up" in public, but I don't have the peer pressure since I got my bimmer

Lups · 08-07-2015, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C5driver

If you have a well adjusted kid that doesn't depend on others for validation, this wouldn't be an issue. Instilling confidence should be one of the goals in parenting.

I agree with you, but I doubt anyone going through that would.

My grandmother wasn't vain at all, and she wanted a wig to feel like herself. When my dad got sick, the toughest singe moment for me was the thought of him losing his hair. It was completely stupid of me to think that, I mean I knew from the start that he had merely months to live.

I'm happy to report daddy dearest entered the crematorium with all his hair still on.

V1.47fan · 08-07-2015, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C5driver

If you have a well adjusted kid that doesn't depend on others for validation, this wouldn't be an issue. Instilling confidence should be one of the goals in parenting.

I couldn't agree more. If i had a daughter and she wanted a wig, i'll get her a wig but i'll also explain to her that her hair is not what makes her beautiful.

C5driver · 08-07-2015, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by V1.47fan

I couldn't agree more. If i had a daughter and she wanted a wig, i'll get her a wig but i'll also explain to her that her hair is not what makes her beautiful.

We have a KimYe society that prioritizes looks, status, and the superficial over substance and yet we wonder why a 9 year old is so focused on her hair and not her illness.

Amazing.

Sara · 08-07-2015, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C5driver

If you have a well adjusted kid that doesn't depend on others for validation, this wouldn't be an issue. Instilling confidence should be one of the goals in parenting.

Most kids want to be like other kids. That's just how it works. It's not the parenting, it's not rocket science.

When my Grandmother lost her hair from chemo, she bought wigs. There is absolutely nothing wrong with they way my Great Grandmother raised her.

Lups · 08-07-2015, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C5driver

We have a KimYe society that prioritizes looks, status, and the superficial over substance and yet we wonder why a 9 year old is so focused on her hair and not her illness.

Amazing.

You're thinking this wrong. It is to not to be stared, not to be pitied. Looks are not the point.

C5driver · 08-07-2015, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lups

I agree with you, but I doubt anyone going through that would.

We don't know, and really, it's not up to us to decide if their individual experience is the right one.

All I'm saying is that it should NOT be the crux of the issue and IF it is, as what this conversation appears to be, then it points back to how, in general terms, we have devolved into a vain and self-centered society.

Sara · 08-07-2015, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C5driver

We have a KimYe society that prioritizes looks, status, and the superficial over substance and yet we wonder why a 9 year old is so focused on her hair and not her illness.

Amazing.

She's 9. No 9 yr old should be focused on a cancer. She is just a child. That is not for her to waste her thoughts about.

C5driver · 08-07-2015, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara504

Most kids want to be like other kids. That's just how it works. It's not the parenting, it's not rocket science.

Really? You just said this? It's nothing BUT the parenting.

C5driver · 08-07-2015, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara504

She's 9. No 9 yr old should be focused on a cancer. She is just a child. That is not for her to waste her thoughts about.

I agree with everything you said here.

Lups · 08-07-2015, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C5driver

We don't know, and really, it's not up to us to decide if their individual experience is the right one.

All I'm saying is that it should NOT be the crux of the issue and IF it is, as what this conversation appears to be, then it points back to how, in general terms, we have devolved into a vain and self-centered society.

I got your point.

I think we agree on the society and what should matter too. It's a freaky time to raise kids.

C5driver · 08-07-2015, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lups

I got your point.

I think we agree on the society and what should matter too. It's a freaky time to raise kids.

It's scary as hell and I did it as a single parent of two.

ASBSECU E93 · 08-07-2015, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C5driver

If you have a well adjusted kid that doesn't depend on others for validation, this wouldn't be an issue. Instilling confidence should be one of the goals in parenting.

May disagree with you in that 'well adjusted' and 'nine year old' probably do not go together....

Being a preteen and the pressures to 'fit in' are terrible on children. I see this with my 12 and 10 year old niece/nephew.

I also believe they have not formed the necessary life skills to cope with a life event of the magnitude as cancer.

Just my .02 FWIW.

kscarrol · 08-07-2015, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C5driver

We don't know, and really, it's not up to us to decide if their individual experience is the right one.

All I'm saying is that it should NOT be the crux of the issue and IF it is, as what this conversation appears to be, then it points back to how, in general terms, we have devolved into a vain and self-centered society.

That's right, you don't know. And this was clearly NOT what your initial statement/thought was...

As Sara and Lups point out, these kids are nine years-old. It is not just about self confidence. My son is very self confident but sometimes dealing with his diabetes does make him feel out of place around other kids. When he has to test or inject and you have other kids asking "what's wrong with you", I get why he wanted to do these things in private. We all know kids can be cruel to each other. And even if it is just a child who doesn't understand that it is rude to stare at a cancer patient without hair or my son injecting himself, it happens. Often!

That is another conversation about parenting but it's not about whether we are being good parents and instilling self confidence in our children...

PS: This thread has taken a way too serious turn. Let's get back to the pictures!

V1.47fan · 08-07-2015, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lups

You're thinking this wrong. It is to not to be stared, not to be pitied. Looks are not the point.

So they are people out there that stare at cancer patients like they're somekind of freaks?

Those are the kind of people you give a fuck about?

kscarrol · 08-07-2015, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by V1.47fan

So they are people out there that stare at cancer patients like they're somekind of freaks?

Those are the kind of people you give a fuck about?

Sorry, but this is overly simplistic! Do I give a fuck, no. Does my nine year-old, yes, sometimes they do...

ASBSECU E93 · 08-07-2015, 12:53 PM

Ok....I think we can all agree that cancer sucks! What's worse is this strikes indescriminatly on old/young, healthy and sick alike.

The fact a child is suffering with this ailment and forced to lose their innocence at such a early age is a travesty.

Anything that can be done to make a child feel better during this process is ok with me...

kscarrol · 08-07-2015, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UncleWede

I STILL enjoy the shock value of pulling up my shirt and "shooting up" in public, but I don't have the peer pressure since I got my bimmer

Ha! Do you break out a small spoon as part of the process as well? You should, just for fun...

C5driver · 08-07-2015, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

May disagree with you in that 'well adjusted' and 'nine year old' probably do not go together....

Being a preteen and the pressures to 'fit in' are terrible on children. I see this with my 12 and 10 year old niece/nephew.

I also believe they have not formed the necessary life skills to cope with a life event of the magnitude as cancer.

Just my .02 FWIW.

I hear you. There are no absolutes and the hospital never hands out a parenting manual that says how it easy it is to raise a kid, but IMO, confidence in our kids SHOULD be one of the primary goals as a parent. It's not a light switch that's flicked on, but a process and through that process to confidence, the child learns social skills....standing up to bullies, helping the weak, focusing on others and not themselves, enabling a sense of self worth.

Fitting in is nothing new and high school might as well be gladiator school for some. We've all seen the kids who make it through and make it through with maturity and as leaders. These are the kids we should look at as role models.

ASBSECU E93 · 08-07-2015, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by V1.47fan

So they are people out there that stare at cancer patients like they're somekind of freaks?

Those are the kind of people you give a fuck about?

Yes - there are people who stare at others for any reason. You can't change how they perceive you, only how you interact with these people to possibly change their perceptions.

C5driver · 08-07-2015, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kscarrol

PS: This thread has taken a way too serious turn. Let's get back to the pictures!

Please!

Lups · 08-07-2015, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kscarrol

That's right, you don't know. And this was clearly NOT what your initial statement/thought was...

As Sara and Lups point out, these kids are nine years-old. It is not just about self confidence. My son is very self confident but sometimes dealing with his diabetes does make him feel out of place around other kids. When he has to test or inject and you have other kids asking "what's wrong with you", I get why he wanted to do these things in private. We all know kids can be cruel to each other. And even if it is just a child who doesn't understand that it is rude to stare at a cancer patient without hair or my son injecting himself, it happens. Often!

That is another conversation about parenting but it's not about whether we are being good parents and instilling self confidence in our children...

PS: This thread has taken a way too serious turn. Let's get back to the pictures!

I agree with all of this, and I'm sorry for ruining this thread for a bit.

I hope all goes well with your kiddo. I think I've said this to you before, but it is great to read about your son and how you are handling it all. Your attitude is something I try to copy daily.

08-07-2015, 12:53 PM	#281
ASBSECU E93 Know's a guy that know's a guy... 5646 Rep 1,905 Posts Drives: 2010 335d; 2008 135i Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow iTrader: (5)	Ok....I think we can all agree that cancer sucks! What's worse is this strikes indescriminatly on old/young, healthy and sick alike. The fact a child is suffering with this ailment and forced to lose their innocence at such a early age is a travesty. Anything that can be done to make a child feel better during this process is ok with me...
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