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      01-12-2010, 05:25 PM   #23
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Personally I would find out what it is she wants- whether or not she's interested in someone else. Usually when girls come up with excuses like "I don't wanna hold you back", or "I don't want to interfere with your schooling" that means they wanna date other people. She probably will just give you the same vague answer though. If that's the case it probably means she doesn't know what she's doing really but wants to explore new things.

I have a friend who dated this chick for like 5 years. All of a sudden she wants to go with some dude that she goes to school with. She still comes over to his house and they would fuck and shit. Sometimes people just get bored so they do weird shit.

If she still wouldn't give you a straight answer, then you should just give her distance and back off. If she contacts you then just talk to her as a friend (or a little more than that) but do not turn her into a god. At the same time just go out and meet other people (don't have to date them- just hang out and have fun). It's hard when you're in the game but trust me, once you're out of it you'll be glad you did.

A similar thing happened to me: I was trying to be friends with this girl I dated but she would give me the run around (saying she wants to hang out and cancels a day or two before). At that time I still wasn't over her so I put up with it. After like the 3rd time I told myself "enough is enough" and stopped talking to her (absolutely no contact whatsoever). I saw her at a friend's party a few weeks back and I couldn't care less. That night I realized that could do so much better and that I want someone more mature.

So OP, you got two choices here: either you put up with it or close that door and move the hell on. I know people always ask themselves the "what if" question and ponder about what they could have done differently. The answer? NOTHING!! It's not you! So don't beat yourself up over it and just move on. Just act happy, smile, and you will be happy.
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      01-12-2010, 06:20 PM   #24
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I dunno man.. tough situation. Personally, I've been dating this girl for about 4 years and just these past couple months have been really bad. She holds two jobs and is in her last semester of pre-law, studying for LSAT's, getting straight A's.

She told me she'd want to "put things off" for a while, she loves me and could totally see ourselves getting married and blah blah. At first I thought this was all BS, but after asking our mutual friends, they said she literally does not even have time to go out except maybe a few hours a week. I was sad, of course, but at least she wasn't going out doing some other guy. This could be your situation as well.

Oh yeah, the result of all this for me? I told her I don't want to commit more to the relationship than she is able to, so let's take a break. Couple weeks later, I've been out to a club a few times with some friends I haven't seen in a while, one of these friends brings her other friend and it turns out this other friend is an incredible cute and chill girl (she even plays MW2!) and we've been seeing each other for a little while, and I am happy as a clam that I have someone who's into me as much as I am into her.

So if some of these other guys' opinions are a little depressing, there's a little something that could easily happen to you so you can look forward to it
Good luck bro!
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      01-12-2010, 06:21 PM   #25
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      01-12-2010, 06:36 PM   #26
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      01-12-2010, 06:41 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpine3 View Post
i've been through so much these past 2 weeks...my girl tells me that we rushed things and that she's not ready to be in a relationship..we've been together for a couple months...ive known her for 4 years but we lost connection and started talking in november...she tells me she loves me and has feelings for me but just does not have time to be in a relationship right now...she said she doesnt want me out of her life though..should i settle for friends or try to let her go completely ps i have no one to talk to since its 3 in the morn and im feeling so down right now
dude... how old are you? 16?

rushed things up, does not want a relationship, but loves you and does not want you out of her life? this is a typical "lets just be friends" situation, which never really works, plus she is already banging someone else and you are not gonna get any from her. move on.
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      01-13-2010, 09:00 AM   #28
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You are putting the pussy on a pedestal
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      01-13-2010, 09:41 AM   #29
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I would start putting other things before her....Hang out with your friends, go out with them and let her see that you can have fun without her. If she is really into you she will be back.....or she will move on....Good Luck with whatever your decision is...
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      01-14-2010, 04:11 PM   #30
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stay friends but start dating other girls.... i know how you feel man been there plenty of times.... i bet you stay friends and your gonna turn into that guy she calls when she needs ass and i would never complain about nsa sex cause the next night you can be banging a completely diffrent girl... and start playing the numbers game ever night you go out try to get at least 3-5 numbers a night(change locations after getting a number at each place), then next week play the lottery and text all 3-5 at once asking them what there up to and im pretty positive at least 2 answer and say there going somewhere but you should meet up with them. Or at least thats what i do and it usually works for me but, i also live in a shitty college town so my odds might just be because of drunk nieve college girls but who knows...
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      01-14-2010, 05:38 PM   #31
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      01-14-2010, 05:40 PM   #32
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Let her see you out with another girl...that always changes their tune.
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      01-14-2010, 06:14 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by samwoo2go View Post
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      01-15-2010, 03:20 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alpha325i View Post
Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. There are plenty other girls out there. If she is being shady by saying that she doesn't want commitment or anything serious, chances are it will not work out in the long run anyway. So when Friday roles around, get the Bimmer washed up, where something snazzy, find a wing man, and hit the town for a little nigh life. You will find something to squeeze on
+1000, do your own thing and save her # in your phone as "DON'T ANSWER 1", because at 20 years old you'll hit "DON'T ANSWER 9" in no time
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      01-16-2010, 04:17 PM   #35
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good for you, OP
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      01-17-2010, 11:39 PM   #36
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Well Heck These Days Ya Gotta Wonder If It Aint Another Chick...best Help Is To Rich And Powerful And Hit Blondes With Implants..know What I Mean....fuck It 8 To 1 Dude 8 To 1
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      01-18-2010, 07:54 PM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
Shes interested in someone else but wants to have you as a back up. Hence the "I love you but I dont want to be committed to you." She figures if it doesnt work out with another guy she always has you as a crutch.


It's hard but it's time to date other girls...

GJ on your new girl... let her call, you can have her as your crutch .
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      01-19-2010, 01:55 PM   #38
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      01-19-2010, 05:26 PM   #39
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I agree with what everyone says here.

Watch 500 days of summer... seems like a chick flick but it'll make you feel better.
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      01-25-2010, 12:59 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arrutled View Post
Do yourself a huge favor and say your goodbyes and go on your merry way. Look where this one is heading........down the drain. Keep your dignity and get the hell out now! Or else in a couple of months youll be thinking to yourself, "self I shoulda gotten the hell outta there asap" Now go grab a bottle of liquor and start drinking! Make sure you turn your phone off first! Cheers and good luck!
Best advice I've ever seen
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