[gtron]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs323i

I started a new job at a small company last June and so far it has been pretty good until one of my coworkers on two separate occasions pulled the 'chicken flied lice' comment in my presence as well as others.
The first time it happened I was shocked and didn't know how to react as it has been many years since old school yard stuff. I was pissed off but I thought that it was a one-off and let it slide.
This week it happened the second time and in front of another coworker who gave a nervous laugh. This time I was pissed off again and stared at the guy who did it.
Been thinking about it last night as to what approach to take. Either talk to him in person but that means everyone else can hear it or send an email telling him to stop that crap.

imo the first time that happened you should have said in a kind voice "that sir is offensive" or "you realize that's not appropriate and can be considered a racist stereotype, correct?"

i know it's not your fault that he was not raised properly but unfortunately it's become your responsibility to educate him. good luck!

you can do the above in a non-confrontational way but if it becomes too uncomfortable you should escalate to hr. that's one of the reasons hr exists.

[Mr&Mrs323i]

Originally Posted by V1.47fan

What was the racial slur?

First one was a mock telephone conversation while testing out the new headsets our office received. Ordering Chinese take out in the sing-songy shyt style.

The weird crappy part about this is that this person is also partly training me too. How f'ed up is that?

Second instance was when two guys were thinking of what to have for lunch and again that sick sing-songy shyt comes out again.

I haven't heard that crap since grade school.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by John 070

The only stereotype I can think of with Finns is that they're good hockey players? But I remember that when I was in Norway and Sweden, that Finns were not Scandinavians, which I did not understand, I thought Iceland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland was Scandinavia. I had a Finnish friend Merja way back when and she agreed, not Scandinavia.....

Oh those bastards are kicking us out again?

Finland is a part of Scandinavia (I'm really rusty with this all so pardon me) because of the ground we share, the thingy that floats on lava (I'm actually proud of that one) but as a culture we are completely different from the others and our language has nothing in common with Swedish or Norwegian or Danish.


Yes, ice hockey and cars is what we do, and men are silent always. In all three we beat all of the Nordic competition offered by our reluctant neighbors.

[Whostheboss]

If i told you'all what I've witnessed being Black! this forum will explode.

[gtron]

Originally Posted by Whostheboss

If i told you'all what I've witnessed being Black! this forum will explode.

i can only imagine.

although, in a workplace setting i think most people are more careful not to say the wrong thing around black people because of all the attention it gets via media or whatever.

i think some people don't even realize when they're being racist toward other nationalities.

outside of the workplace like on xbox for example... all bets are off. people are truly ignorant.

just my opinion.

[Whostheboss]

Originally Posted by gtron

i can only imagine.

although, in a workplace setting i think most people are more careful not to say the wrong thing around black people because of all the attention it gets via media or whatever.

i think some people don't even realize when they're being racist toward other nationalities.

outside of the workplace like on xbox for example... all bets are off. people are truly ignorant.

just my opinion.

You know what..? that's true, i never thought about it.
You just lit a bulb in my head. Because Blacks get all the media attention, ignorant people feel it's ok to insult non Black, that's crazy.

[diesel1879]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs323i

First one was a mock telephone conversation while testing out the new headsets our office received. Ordering Chinese take out in the sing-songy shyt style.

The weird crappy part about this is that this person is also partly training me too. How f'ed up is that?

Second instance was when two guys were thinking of what to have for lunch and again that sick sing-songy shyt comes out again.

I haven't heard that crap since grade school.

OP you should definitely pull him to the side and let him know that you do not tolerate those kinds of remarks. Tell him you understand that he might think it's funny and in good fun but it's not. I wouldn't go to HR just yet. If he does it again or acts strange send an email to have documentation. Then go to HR.

I have gone through more than my fair share of harassment. I work for a fortune 500 company and have heard every racist comment there is. I am of middle eastern decent and had grown out my facial hair for movember. Almost ever person on my floor asked me if i was going to "blow something up" and if i was "joining IShit"

I have family in Syria that have been killed and displaced because of that monster group so it was something that was very sensitive to me. no one wants those monsters off the face of the planet more than the people that have lost family to them. To be associated with them is pure insult. I immediately held my ground and let them know that their comments wont stand. I also explained my situation just as i did now.

Sometimes they think its in pure fun, let them know its not. If they do it again go to HR and document it. Good luck and sorry you're going through this. Ive been going through it for many years and it never gets better.

[Mr&Mrs323i]

Thanks to everyone for the great suggestions.
I'll have to find the opportune time where I can speak to him privately before day's end.

[The Wind Breezes]

Godwin's law rules here. Your coworkers are probably just dumb. Why don't you talk to them before assuming they're out to be assholes?

[Nkc]

What isn't harassment nowadays?

Nothing sexist but op is a female right?

[SheaButter]

I joke around all the time, however the workplace should be reserved for professional. I guess it depends on your position at the office. Running to tattle to the HR is really annoying, and even though you're in the right it feels weird. I miss the old days where a nice brawl would settle things, or back in the day (before my time) when punching somebody wouldn't make social media news, or land you in a lawsuit. This is part of the reason I am SOMEWHAT okay to violence to people that deserve it, this day and age people seem to express their freedom of speech right a little bit too much, and a swift correction isn't always bad.


My advice, walk by and toss a cup of tomato juice or something at him/her. And when they get angry and request you to pay for it, simply say it was an accident. "When I heard you spitting out racist remarks I tried to walk out as fast as I could and ended up spilling my convenience full cup of tomato juice .

If it makes it to upper management, now you get to put on record WHAT happened without being a little tattle tail. Just my epic 2 cents

(I'm the immature mastermind of the office )

[BMW F22]

Until I transferred to a different program, I worked with an Indian guy on my previous team. He is the outgoing type and doesn't quite know when to stop talking. On more than one occasions he did the Chinese accents, made fun of Asians, and one time did the Asian eye gesture when we were sitting with a bunch of co-workers watching football at a restaurant. After that I don't really hang out with him anymore. I wasn't really offended as I normally don't give a crap. I just felt more embarrassed being around him more than anything. I mean, come on, you have to understand that when we are in public, keep those jokes tamed and PC. Shoot, I am Asian and sometimes make fun of the way we can't drive, etc. but I would never, ever make the kind of jokes that are borderline racist. Some people think it's funny when they say things like that when all it does is make them look like an idiot.

[zx10guy]

So I'm a bit more relaxed about this than some on here. Upfront, I'm an ABC (American Born Chinese). Most people who meet me think I'm mixed because of my mannerisms and my physical appearance (being 6'5" tends to break the short stereotype). I joke about my Asian background all the time. It usually catches any coworkers new to me off guard. I had one of my good buddies say to me about one of my jokes that he wasn't sure if he should file an HR violation on me joking about my own ethnicity. Of course that was in jest.

With that said, I do draw the line by how things are said to me. While I do joke about many of the Asian stereotypes and also dish them out, I can tell when someone is not joking around. At that point, I will say something.

If you're that bothered by the behavior of this individual, I would at least talk to this individual in private. Don't just run to HR as your first action on this. In the end, I think this person will respect you more for "manning" up and telling him about this issue. At least you're showing him some respect (whether you think he deserves it or not) by addressing this directly with him. If this doesn't work, then go ahead and have a talk with HR. I bet one of the first things they'll ask you is if you had spoken to this individual about this. If you go to HR first, it doesn't take a genius for someone to probably figure out it was you. Right or wrong, you'll then get a reputation which I don't think you want.

I had an HR event at one of my jobs. Actually I was a government contractor. The incident involved another government contractor....a woman. On that day, she was getting a bit annoying to me with some of the actions and things she was saying to me. So after one comment (I don't even remember what it was), I just told her to kiss my butt. In those exact words....and not in an angry tone. No expletives. There were others around and no one even paused during that exchange. Next thing I know, I get called into the conference to speak with one of the government managers. He tells me this individual went to her to complain about what I said. I was pissed. I explained how things led up to that remark and I told him exactly what I said. He knew the complaint was a total crock of $hit. But he had to address it as a worker whom he manages had gone to him about it. He said as far as he's concerned he did his due diligence in the matter and the whole thing is closed. So no formal complaint was going to be filed with my employer about this. He just said to be more careful around this individual. Afterwards, I stayed away from and didn't speak to her again unless I had to for work. She knew why I was behaving this way and I talked to others in the office about this. She realized that she probably needed to grow thicker skin as everyone in the office started to keep her at arms length knowing that she would formally complain about something so little as the incident I was involved in with her. Had she come to me and told me I hurt her feelings with that comment, I would have apologized and moved on. She would have gotten what she probably wanted. And I wouldn't have to deal with an HR violation.

So this is an example of how an HR complaint can go terribly wrong.

[MrRoboto]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs323i

I started a new job at a small company last June and so far it has been pretty good until one of my coworkers on two separate occasions pulled the 'chicken flied lice' comment in my presence as well as others.
The first time it happened I was shocked and didn't know how to react as it has been many years since old school yard stuff. I was pissed off but I thought that it was a one-off and let it slide.
This week it happened the second time and in front of another coworker who gave a nervous laugh. This time I was pissed off again and stared at the guy who did it.
Been thinking about it last night as to what approach to take. Either talk to him in person but that means everyone else can hear it or send an email telling him to stop that crap.

Wow. As a fellow Canadian I am sorry you are dealing with this sort of crap in this day and age. As others have said, I would suggest a private conversation with the 'bully' to tell them this is completely unacceptable. Next step would be a formal complaint with HR.

[WhatsADSM]

I agree with most others. Personally I would probably keep a private document of the what was said, where, and who else was around. I would then first talk to the offender first, face-to-face. I know it sounds weird but some people really don't realize they are crossing a line and when confronted with the fact are actually apologetic and won't do it again. So IMHO I document it (personally) and give them the benefit of the doubt. If they were to shrug it off and/or continue doing it I would then escalte things.

BTW my wife is an HR professional and always tells me how people think she is supposed to be the police all the time. It is greatly appreciated when people talk to each other about the issues *first* and only if there is still an issue is it something she says is a real issue.... And FWIW most companies take racial slurs (or those directed at any "protected class") seriously.

[M3Bimmer77]

Start recording that MF!!!!! And uploaded so we can hear his chicken voice

[schoy]

Talk to HR. That's their job. You don't even have to say that you were the one offended. Something on the order of "I overheard so-and-so saying X, and I'm concerned that someone might be offended. Could you have a word with him/her?" HR should have a confidential reporting protocol for these kinds of situations There's no need to confront the individual, as it might lead to retaliation, workplace resentment, etc.

Only of nothing's done, or if the behavior escalates, should you need to escalate (HR director, Legal, etc.).

[sygazelle]

Originally Posted by Delta0311

Dealt with a comment at my job that pissed me the fuck off too. While back I was kicking back with some people while picking up my office mail. One of the ladies there said something about her kids having a flag day in school. Apparently her husband is part Polish and she is Italian. She then went to say that her kids said, "omg we are Polish, we dont want to tell anyone that. don't want them thinking we're stupid"... So she told them that they are right and should only mention that they are Italian.

Being 100% Polak that pissed me the fuck off. Now if this wasn't my place of work and it was about 14 years ago (when i was a lot crazier) I would have probably put the bitch through the wall.. Instead I cut her off and told her I was 100% Polak, off the boat, my mom was a civil engineer and dad was an architect.. Then I simply stated that in this company's totem pole I tower above you so what does that tell you about my Polak intelligence; learn a country's history before you start talking trash..... and then I walked out while, their mouths where dropping..

Good for you to be proud of your heritage. I'm a bit surprised that you refer to yourself as 100% Polak. I thought that the term Polak is an offensive and derogatory term. I'm wondering if it could send a confusing message to this woman if you get upset about a derogatory comment and then use a derogatory term to describe yourself. Is the term Polak offensive?

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by schoy

Talk to HR. That's their job. You don't even have to say that you were the one offended. Something on the order of "I overheard so-and-so saying X, and I'm concerned that someone might be offended. Could you have a word with him/her?" HR should have a confidential reporting protocol for these kinds of situations There's no need to confront the individual, as it might lead to retaliation, workplace resentment, etc.

Only of nothing's done, or if the behavior escalates, should you need to escalate (HR director, Legal, etc.).

As stated by someone whose wife is an HR person, HR's job isn't to be a playground moderator. I think we all should be grown up enough to at least extend the courtesy to someone to let them know if their behavior or something they said was out of line. People are so quick to run around and report people these days.

[sygazelle]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs323i

I started a new job at a small company last June and so far it has been pretty good until one of my coworkers on two separate occasions pulled the 'chicken flied lice' comment in my presence as well as others.
The first time it happened I was shocked and didn't know how to react as it has been many years since old school yard stuff. I was pissed off but I thought that it was a one-off and let it slide.
This week it happened the second time and in front of another coworker who gave a nervous laugh. This time I was pissed off again and stared at the guy who did it.
Been thinking about it last night as to what approach to take. Either talk to him in person but that means everyone else can hear it or send an email telling him to stop that crap.

First off, sorry this happened.

You were there so you heard the tone of the person making the comment. It's possible that they are just ignorant and repeated the chicken flied lice comment that they heard elsewhere because it got a laugh. Possibly it just ignorance and not intended to be a racial slur. That said, I would talk to this person one on one and mention that you took offense and ask them to stop. They might just say "OMG, I didn't know. Thanks for letting me know."

Back in the 80's I had a colleague was Japanese. I ignorantly used the term Oriental is some fashion. I don't think I called him an Oriental, but I used the term in some way. He stopped me and politely told me that the term was offensive. I was shocked to know I has unknowingly said something that offended him; it was certainly not my intent. I was so glad he took the time to enlighten me. We have been friends ever since. If he had gone to HR instead it would most likely had a different outcome.

Good luck with this situation.

[V1.47fan]

Originally Posted by sygazelle

Good for you to be proud of your heritage. I'm a bit surprised that you refer to yourself as 100% Polak. I thought that the term Polak is an offensive and derogatory term. I'm wondering if it could send a confusing message to this woman if you get upset about a derogatory comment and then use a derogatory term to describe yourself. Is the term Polak offensive?

Maybe Polak is a term of endearment.

[Delta0311]

Originally Posted by sygazelle

Good for you to be proud of your heritage. I'm a bit surprised that you refer to yourself as 100% Polak. I thought that the term Polak is an offensive and derogatory term. I'm wondering if it could send a confusing message to this woman if you get upset about a derogatory comment and then use a derogatory term to describe yourself. Is the term Polak offensive?

Polak = polish male or can also be used in reference to someone of either sex who's polish
Polka = polish female
Polacy = group of Polish people

Polish is a hard language.

I think the Americanized offensive spelling is Polack.