[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Lups

Fuck off. This ain't my fault man!

I always heard insanity was hereditary:

You get if FROM your kids. . .

[Lups]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

I always heard insanity was hereditary:

You get if FROM your kids. . .

Yes, that sounds resonable.

I love my kids to death but with one missing an ear, the entertainment options for rainy days have revolved around books here always. That sadly has turned them in to complete nerds and parenting really sucks balls when you're always competing against Wikipedia.

A few weeks ago Napoleon was a huge topic here. We calculated how much each of the soldiers got to eat in their way to Russia if all their supplies were the horses that died, and how many eyeballs each soldier got from it.

Oh well, it's still better than calculating how much a dinosaur pooped in a day measured in buckets like we did a few years back.

If anyone wants to adopt kids, I have a few extras I am willing to consider donating (Angelina Jolie, don't call me again).

[UncleWede]

Cabin fever always STARTS with buckets of dinosaur poop and horse eyeballs. I would be sleeping with one eyeball open during the rainy season.

[John 070]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

FTFY

Haha once in college I let this hippy dude in with really long hair and beard. He uses our bathroom, takes a shower, comes out bald, no beard, or hair on his thingamajig, and is walking around nude and shouting. My roommate wakes up, says who the f*** is this dude and why is he naked??! I said oh he's aiyitte, meet Fred!

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by e46m3lol

Love reading posts like this as I get to read how weird kids can be... wife is prego now and our baby boy is due beginning of march 2017. Can't wait to see what kind of trouble my son and I get into. Mommy isn't gonna be happy

As you can see... he's already in race car driver shifting position

Ugh, thats reminds me at the very first preggo-visit at the doctor, where the first sonar was made and we'd asked him, if the gender is visible....
Ya wont guess what he was saying after a short giggle "Ma'am and Sir, the gender doesnt matter to you, you'll get it both" After a short shock we'd get this joke -.-
FTFY

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Dang3r

Ugh, thats reminds me at the very first preggo-visit at the doctor, where the first sonar was made and we'd asked him, if the gender is visible....
Ya wont guess what he was saying after a short giggle "Ma'am and Sir, the gender doesnt matter to you, you'll get it both" After a short shock we'd get this joke -.-
FTFY

That's epic way to make a parent worry a ton more! Triplets would be even more fun!

[Dang3r]

Nah, twins are almost happened at my line of family, at hers it was the first time. What do I have to say? An old rifle strews a little?

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Dang3r

Nah, twins are almost happened at my line of family, at hers it was the first time. What do I have to say? An old rifle strews a little?

I think twins is epic, a built in bully+ playmate. Kids are always going to fight but your team will probably stay close to the same size long enough that you won't end up with dinosaur bites!

Every time my sons fet in to a heated argument and someone ends up with a black eye or a bruise from a tossed toy car, they ran to me to explain a dinosaur did it. They know I toss every item used as a weapon and they know they'll spend the day sitting in a corner if they hurt each other, so when mom is needed after an incident, they have the smarts to lie about cause of injury.

[Mr Tonka]

Mine is pretty darn weird. He lays around most of the day. Sometimes i'll come home and he'll be sleeping on one of the dish towels. He insists on sleeping at the foot of my bed and has this annoying habit of shaking his head violently every time he gets up. He goes nuts every time you sit on the floor or if someone else comes to the front door. He goes stark raving mad when a big truck pulls into the drive way. But then he's scared of the vacuum cleaner when it comes out. He's always invading people's personal space, you'd think he was on Ecstasy if you didn't know any better, always touching you, leaning on you, licking you..... By far though, the weirdest thing he does is smell people's crotches. I don't get it, but then he licks his own balls and ass, so he is a mystery i'll never solve.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by duck fat

My dog hates people with hats on. Wear a hat and she'll keep barking at you. Take it off and you're her best friend.

I knew this guy who talked so highly of his pittbull. He was always telling you how love-dovey she is. How good she is with kids and how everyone loves her.

......but don't come to the door with a hat on, she'll go ballistic and rip anyone to shreds if they are wearing a hat.

[Banana Hammock]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

I knew this guy who talked so highly of his pittbull. He was always telling you how love-dovey she is. How good she is with kids and how everyone loves her.

......but don't come to the door with a hat on, she'll go ballistic and rip anyone to shreds if they are wearing a hat.

Hats are a catalyst for lies!

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Mine is pretty darn weird. He lays around most of the day. Sometimes i'll come home and he'll be sleeping on one of the dish towels. He insists on sleeping at the foot of my bed and has this annoying habit of shaking his head violently every time he gets up. He goes nuts every time you sit on the floor or if someone else comes to the front door. He goes stark raving mad when a big truck pulls into the drive way. But then he's scared of the vacuum cleaner when it comes out. He's always invading people's personal space, you'd think he was on Ecstasy if you didn't know any better, always touching you, leaning on you, licking you..... By far though, the weirdest thing he does is smell people's crotches. I don't get it, but then he licks his own balls and ass, so he is a mystery i'll never solve.

Omg you would love the pics of my puppy now. Hubby found scissors and a gs tail. It ain't pretty.

I had to take the dog to school today just to show the teachers my son wasn't lying. My puppy looks pretty damn bad. (I'll try to find you from WhatsApp to send a pic.)

[Badawe]

My son started reading big boy stories and he made this today



Said he made it look like a suppository and chuckled

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Badawee

My son started reading big boy stories and he made this today



Said he made it look like a suppository and chuckled

How old is he? He has a really good hand writing! My kids (and sadly I too) have no skills in scribbling anything down in a way that an other person can read it.

[Badawe]

Originally Posted by Lups

How old is he? He has a really good hand writing! My kids (and sadly I too) have no skills in scribbling anything down in a way that an other person can read it.

Yeah better than my handwriting lol, he's 8 and unlike me English isn't his first language

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Badawee

Yeah better than my handwriting lol, he's 8 and unlike me English isn't his first language

Better than mine also!

Kids are so weird with languages. Mine spent two years in the states and now they keep their studies up by watching an episode of Simpsons almost daily. If we learned at the same rate as they do for a day, we'd all be applying to game shows to become a millionaire.

[Badawe]

Originally Posted by Lups

Better than mine also!

Kids are so weird with languages. Mine spent two years in the states and now they keep their studies up by watching an episode of Simpsons almost daily. If we learned at the same rate as they do for a day, we'd all be applying to game shows to become a millionaire.

Lol yeah TV saved my English from deteriorating when I moved abroad

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Badawee

Lol yeah TV saved my English from deteriorating when I moved abroad

Where do you live now?

I find it hilarious how much one can learn from the Simpsons. It's basically the only cartoon series I can tolerate enough to be present if a translator is needed.

Now they're watching Futurama seasons and I get schooled for my lack of imagination. Kids are soooo much cooler than us old farts.

[Badawe]

Originally Posted by Lups

Where do you live now?

I find it hilarious how much one can learn from the Simpsons. It's basically the only cartoon series I can tolerate enough to be present if a translator is needed.

Now they're watching Futurama seasons and I get schooled for my lack of imagination. Kids are soooo much cooler than us old farts.

I live in Bahrain now, and Jordan before that. Moved over as a kid.

The Simpsons is great and I love it but if you like Futurama you should definitely check Rick and Morty out, my favorite cartoon show by a long shot! Might not be suitable for the kids though, depending on their age. Rick and Morty will definitely fix your lack of imagination

I try to keep up with the boys, I watch the same shows and play the same games they do, its been easy so far but staying relevant won't be easy as they grow up

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Badawee

I live in Bahrain now, and Jordan before that. Moved over as a kid.

The Simpsons is great and I love it but if you like Futurama you should definitely check Rick and Morty out, my favorite cartoon show by a long shot! Might not be suitable for the kids though, depending on their age. Rick and Morty will definitely fix your lack of imagination

I try to keep up with the boys, I watch the same shows and play the same games they do, its been easy so far but staying relevant won't be easy as they grow up

My son has microtia (he only has one ear and his hearing is compromised on the other side too) so we are more readers. If a tv is on, he can't hear a thing around him so we naturally orbit around books.

I'll check out that show, thanks. The boys lately have been fascinated with history so we've been talking about napoleon, hitler and so on. We have a german shepherd which is a favorite example here for just about anything.

I just explained to the kids how cutting her hair would not mean her puppies would have short hair. An hour later my husband had cut off all but the tip from the dogs tail and now I am happy to report our dog is a laughing stock at the dog community, my sons enjoy pointing out to everyone that it wasn't them, it was the adult of the family.

So I envy you for keeping up ith your kids, I just want to strangle mine for laughing at my dog!

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by Lups

Omg you would love the pics of my puppy now. Hubby found scissors and a gs tail. It ain't pretty.

I had to take the dog to school today just to show the teachers my son wasn't lying. My puppy looks pretty damn bad. (I'll try to find you from WhatsApp to send a pic.)

I'm on it now, try again. Number is the same.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

I'm on it now, try again. Number is the same.

Wtf... My mad skills failed. Your turn to try.