Would you ever...?

FlashBimmer9er · 10-30-2011, 06:45 PM

I'm young but have always been taught that if someone cheats, they weren't receiving the attention they wanted or somehow wanted to end said relationship but didn't know how. For me, after another relationship or sex with another guy, I couldn't get back with someone. Plain and simple

oneintheory · 10-30-2011, 06:52 PM

i'm not married, so i cannot and will not speak to what i would do in that circumstance. but i will say that in a relationship, i trust implicitly. there cannot be a true relationship without that. so if the woman does something that violates that trust (cheats), she's gone and i never look back. i won't consider it or even give her the time of day. i can be absolutely sweet and generous and considerate, but if you make the choice to cheat, i become heartless.

Wolf · 10-30-2011, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ideliver

Absolutely. I've been married 17 years. Relationships have their ups and downs. What matters the most us how she treats me. People are fallible and make mistakes. No mistake is unforgivable. To me, this is unconditional love.

says the guy who examines vaginas for breakfast, lunch and dinner

ideliver · 10-30-2011, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf

Quote:

Originally Posted by ideliver

Absolutely. I've been married 17 years. Relationships have their ups and downs. What matters the most us how she treats me. People are fallible and make mistakes. No mistake is unforgivable. To me, this is unconditional love.

says the guy who examines vaginas for breakfast, lunch and dinner

Yep.

I've built a family, a career, and a business with my wife. It should not end because of a month or two of craziness on either one of our parts.

There is nothing so terrible that my children could do that I would not forgive...the same goes for my wife...

Life is too short

aut0sh0cker · 10-31-2011, 12:31 AM

^+1 Everybody makes mistakes, and they usually become stronger people as a result.

IMO, forgiveness is one of the most powerful (and underused) tools at our disposal.

Small Yellow · 10-31-2011, 12:37 AM

Off topic, would you guys marry/date a chick that never cheated on you but fucked a bunch of different guys like 7+ at different times for example.

CollinsE90 · 10-31-2011, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HuangYiChao

Off topic, would you guys marry/date a chick that never cheated on you but fucked a bunch of different guys like 7+ at different times for example.

wut

bmwmike335 · 10-31-2011, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ideliver

Yep.

I've built a family, a career, and a business with my wife. It should not end because of a month or two of craziness on either one of our parts.

There is nothing so terrible that my children could do that I would not forgive...the same goes for my wife...

Life is too short

i have a serious question for you and in no way am i trying to be a dick or anything... just want to the pick the brain of a married man...

lets say hypothetically, your wife did cheat, didn't tell you, then you find out from another source, then you confront her, she admits, and says she had sex with this guy,happened maybe twice and she stopped.....

again, not trying to be disrespectful and i might sound like a hard herded prick so educate me, but how could you go to bed next to this woman, who is married to you, who "committed" herself to you, who had your children, who feeds off your earnings, but still has the evil in her to go a fuck another guy and let him blow his load over her (AGAIN NOT BEING DISRESPECTFULL - just how i see it)

how could you trust her ever again?
how do you know she's not doing it again?
how do you know she's turned into some slut who thinks about other guys?
how can you live like thattt??

maybe I've never been married so its different and i don't understand it, but i know if my GF did that...shed be going down in the slut book lol

you can PM me ur answer if its too private =)

CollinsE90 · 10-31-2011, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmwmike335

i have a serious question for you and in no way am i trying to be a dick or anything... just want to the pick the brain of a married man...

lets say hypothetically, your wife did cheat, didn't tell you, then you find out from another source, then you confront her, she admits, and says she had sex with this guy,happened maybe twice and she stopped.....

again, not trying to be disrespectful and i might sound like a hard herded prick so educate me, but how could you go to bed next to this woman, who is married to you, who "committed" herself to you, who had your children, who feeds off your earnings, but still has the evil in her to go a fuck another guy and let him blow his load over her (AGAIN NOT BEING DISRESPECTFULL - just how i see it)

how could you trust her ever again?
how do you know she's not doing it again?
how do you know she's turned into some slut who thinks about other guys?
how can you live like thattt??

maybe I've never been married so its different and i don't understand it, but i know if my GF did that...shed be going down in the slut book lol

you can PM me ur answer if its too private =)

Because he's a doctor, that works on vagina's every day. He won't be upset because he either is already banging an 18 year old, or could any minute if he needed to. That or he has a very good pre-nup signed by her, and he knows when it happens he will have 18 year olds lined around the block.

pimp4cheddar · 10-31-2011, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quick6EF

You want to say no, but only until you're in it would you know what to do.

Best answer possible...

You should only have people who have been in a situtation like this post...

skinnycow · 10-31-2011, 03:16 PM

I've been cheated on and when I found out it was over that second. I don't tolerate cheaters, if you are going to cheat you should know the consequences. I was really hurt, but I knew it's something I couldn't get over, so it would be unfair to them if I gave them a second chance knowing I couldn't fully trust them.

matthewk · 10-31-2011, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CollinsE90

No, and I'm too hungover to elaborate and debate.

+1 and +1.... Anyone got an asprin? ugh...

Gavin@MMW · 10-31-2011, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oneintheory

i'm not married, so i cannot and will not speak to what i would do in that circumstance. but i will say that in a relationship, i trust implicitly. there cannot be a true relationship without that. so if the woman does something that violates that trust (cheats), she's gone and i never look back. i won't consider it or even give her the time of day. i can be absolutely sweet and generous and considerate, but if you make the choice to cheat, i become heartless.

Exactly.

Im not married, but I've been with the same girl for 5 years, and ^this is 100% correct.

"Never let yourself get attached to anything that you cannot walk out on in thirty seconds if you feel the heat around the corner."

Gregxi · 10-31-2011, 04:44 PM

I love my wife but if she cheated on me it would be over, We have been through a lot together and if she stepped out that would be it....unless she wanted to experiment with Skinnycow or someone like her, well that's a different story

skinnycow · 10-31-2011, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gregxi

I love my wife but if she cheated on me it would be over, We have been through a lot together and if she stepped out that would be it....unless she wanted to experiment with Skinnycow or someone like her, well that's a different story

I don't know.... she might turn lesbian after meeting me :P

Kensta335 · 10-31-2011, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HuangYiChao

Off topic, would you guys marry/date a chick that never cheated on you but fucked a bunch of different guys like 7+ at different times for example.

can't turn a hoe into a housewife.

BMW F22 · 10-31-2011, 09:17 PM

Seems like the majority of people here voted no. Some voted yes though and I'm interested in hearing from those folks as to why.

ideliver · 11-01-2011, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmwmike335

i have a serious question for you and in no way am i trying to be a dick or anything... just want to the pick the brain of a married man...

lets say hypothetically, your wife did cheat, didn't tell you, then you find out from another source, then you confront her, she admits, and says she had sex with this guy,happened maybe twice and she stopped....

again, not trying to be disrespectful and i might sound like a hard herded prick so educate me, but how could you go to bed next to this woman, who is married to you, who "committed" herself to you, who had your children, who feeds off your earnings, but still has the evil in her to go a fuck another guy and let him blow his load over her (AGAIN NOT BEING DISRESPECTFULL - just how i see it)

I don't consider cheating to be an evil act. It is more an act of weakenss. I believe that when she is kind, thoughtful and compassionate with me, that is real. The deceit is when she is with him. That is fantasy and the escape.

how could you trust her ever again? It would take time, but it is possible
how do you know she's not doing it again? I wouldn't
how do you know she's turned into some slut who thinks about other guys?
how can you live like thattt?? I've known her for 20 years...she's not a slut

maybe I've never been married so its different and i don't understand it, but i know if my GF did that...shed be going down in the slut book lol

you can PM me ur answer if its too private =)

Also, understand that my frame of reference is after a 20 yr relationship. When I was in my 20s I felt the same as most of you. I also know that most of my friends and wife's friends have strayed at one time or another in the last 20 yrs and all are still married.

Cheating does not mean your a bad person and should not be the end of the relationship. Get over your ego...you're not the only person in the world that your mate finds attractive. Just like your mate is not the only person in the world that you'll want to smash.

Just exhibit some discresion!!

The real problem with cheating is not when your spouse finds out...its when EVERYONE else finds out and your spouse knows it. If you are a boss and can keep your shit together and NO ONE else knows...usually the spouse can forgive. If you were stupid and flaunted it and made a fool of her...forget it...have fun paying that spousal support.

ideliver · 11-01-2011, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CollinsE90

Because he's a doctor, that works on vagina's every day. He won't be upset because he either is already banging an 18 year old, or could any minute if he needed to. That or he has a very good pre-nup signed by her, and he knows when it happens he will have 18 year olds lined around the block.

Colin, you are so fucking on the money...wisdom beyond your years...except that I prefer 35 to 40 year olds....but no prenup as I was young and broke when I married....

ideliver · 11-01-2011, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kensta335

can't turn a hoe into a housewife.

she wasn't a virgin when I married her...I prefer a woman with the sexual energy to match mine...which is enough to power a small city....

ToothDoc · 11-02-2011, 12:28 AM

Yeah, why not? Plus, you get a "get out of jail card". I think the breakage of trust is more damaging than the actual sex act anyways. BTW, I see one response of a mature person and the rest is a bunch of 20 year olds. People are imperfect and the ability to forgive, forget, and go on is very important in a successful marriage. In my 13 years of marriage (school, startup business, tragedies, 3 kids, etc.) I've found that we've made plenty of mistakes one way or another and we keep on forgiving and continue living our merry little lives. If we got pissed and divorced, I'd be a single guy making a shitload of money and banging chicks. Oh shit... that sounds pretty good!!!

BMWinNorthdakota · 11-02-2011, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HuangYiChao

Off topic, would you guys marry/date a chick that never cheated on you but fucked a bunch of different guys like 7+ at different times for example.

What college aged chick hasn't slept with close to this many guys by the time school is up????

If they say the haven't, they were either late sprouters (the kind that were gawddd awful to look at till late in high school) or extremely prude.

Chances are, they are lying to you if they say a number like 2.

I'd rather have a chick that is upfront an honest IMO.. Better than hearing a girl tell you she's slept with X amount and that amount turns out to be 3 times as many.

View Poll Results: Would you take back someone who's cheated on you?
Yes	14	14.89%
No	80	85.11%
Voters: 94. You may not vote on this poll

10-30-2011, 06:45 PM	#23
FlashBimmer9er 2009 Alpine White/Coral Red leather 128i 20 Rep 265 Posts Drives: AW/Coral Red leather 2009 128i Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Miami, Fl iTrader: (2)	I'm young but have always been taught that if someone cheats, they weren't receiving the attention they wanted or somehow wanted to end said relationship but didn't know how. For me, after another relationship or sex with another guy, I couldn't get back with someone. Plain and simple
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10-30-2011, 06:52 PM	#24
oneintheory no longer a BMW owner 172 Rep 1,463 Posts Drives: 2011 Ford Edge Sport Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Suffolk/Chesapeake, VA iTrader: (0)	i'm not married, so i cannot and will not speak to what i would do in that circumstance. but i will say that in a relationship, i trust implicitly. there cannot be a true relationship without that. so if the woman does something that violates that trust (cheats), she's gone and i never look back. i won't consider it or even give her the time of day. i can be absolutely sweet and generous and considerate, but if you make the choice to cheat, i become heartless.
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10-31-2011, 12:31 AM	#27
aut0sh0cker meh 125 Rep 1,752 Posts Drives: E92 335i, 997.2 C4S Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: 91362 iTrader: (2)	^+1 Everybody makes mistakes, and they usually become stronger people as a result. IMO, forgiveness is one of the most powerful (and underused) tools at our disposal.
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10-31-2011, 12:37 AM	#28
Small Yellow Track Addict 119 Rep 813 Posts Drives: 2010 BMW M3 E92 \| 2008 Z4M E86 Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Orange County, California iTrader: (0)	Off topic, would you guys marry/date a chick that never cheated on you but fucked a bunch of different guys like 7+ at different times for example. __________________ BMW ///M3 Coupe Completed November 16, 2009 Received December 29,2009
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10-31-2011, 03:16 PM	#33
skinnycow condoms prevent minivans 240 Rep 223 Posts Drives: Batmobile Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kitchen iTrader: (0)	I've been cheated on and when I found out it was over that second. I don't tolerate cheaters, if you are going to cheat you should know the consequences. I was really hurt, but I knew it's something I couldn't get over, so it would be unfair to them if I gave them a second chance knowing I couldn't fully trust them. __________________ I have strong opinions about things that don't matter.
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10-31-2011, 04:44 PM	#36
Gregxi First Lieutenant 70 Rep 338 Posts Drives: 2014 535xi Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: MD iTrader: (0)	I love my wife but if she cheated on me it would be over, We have been through a lot together and if she stepped out that would be it....unless she wanted to experiment with Skinnycow or someone like her, well that's a different story
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10-31-2011, 09:17 PM	#39
BMW F22 Major General 3659 Rep 9,783 Posts Drives: ///M235i Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Bay Area iTrader: (8)	Seems like the majority of people here voted no. Some voted yes though and I'm interested in hearing from those folks as to why.
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11-02-2011, 12:28 AM	#43
ToothDoc Second Lieutenant 5 Rep 241 Posts Drives: 997.2 TTS, CLA 45 AMG Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Chicagoland iTrader: (0)	Yeah, why not? Plus, you get a "get out of jail card". I think the breakage of trust is more damaging than the actual sex act anyways. BTW, I see one response of a mature person and the rest is a bunch of 20 year olds. People are imperfect and the ability to forgive, forget, and go on is very important in a successful marriage. In my 13 years of marriage (school, startup business, tragedies, 3 kids, etc.) I've found that we've made plenty of mistakes one way or another and we keep on forgiving and continue living our merry little lives. If we got pissed and divorced, I'd be a single guy making a shitload of money and banging chicks. Oh shit... that sounds pretty good!!!
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