[Dkhan23]

Tell her to start up her own business

[Minefield]

Originally Posted by MiddleAgedAl

Everybody thinks the management at their employer is incompetent, and it would be easy for anyone to do a better job than that. Then if they actually end up on that side of the fence, and they see the rest of the iceberg that was not visible to them before, they realize situations and problems are not as simple as they appeared to be.

Being an armchair quarterback is always easier than being a REAL quarterback.

You're right. It's hard being a real quarterback but anyone, including you, can do their boss' job.

[MiddleAgedAl]

Originally Posted by Minefield

You're right. It's hard being a real quarterback but anyone, including you, can do their boss' job.

Yup, and I am; when I was promoted to manager of my dept, I got to truly see behind the curtain for the first time, and understood the different obstacles/challenges as they really were. I'd like to think I'm doing some things better than my predecessor did, but some hard compromises are not as straightforward as they appear to be to the team members themselves. Certain things that previously seemed really dumb decisions make a lot more sense now that I see more of the picture.

When the OP lamented that his wife's current boss left her old job for the same reasons/problems that his wife is having now, I just had to laugh.

Everybody thinks they can do it better, and then when they actually get there, they discover why people were doing stuff that way (no, it's not to make your life miserable). For a new manager, it can be a discouraging and reluctant journey to the realization that you have to follow that same path (at least to some degree), because the other paths only appear better when you dont know the whole story.

That's not to say there no bad bosses, of course there are, but sometimes, the one who appear to be bad are constrained by ropes you cannot see.

[bumere90]

the question is...how long will this continue for?
is it worth?
to me that's brain washing right there
whoever hired here realizes that she is doing her "dream job" and takes advantage of it
soon or later

[dorkdog]

I read no further after this; didn't need to.

Never ever ever mix friends and business. It never turns out well. I do not need to read the details to know exactly what is happening. Generally costs the friendship too so prepare.

[JMX328]

Originally Posted by dorkdog

I read no further after this; didn't need to.

Never ever ever mix friends and business. It never turns out well. I do not need to read the details to know exactly what is happening. Generally costs the friendship too so prepare.

Couldn't agree more.

"A friendship based on business is better than a business based on friendship."

[Nkc]

At first I thought someone was getting sexually molested or something but whatever. Everyone has their own expectations. She's getting paid what the owner feels she's worth. It's a free market, your wife can choose to work elsewhere or start her own joint. Is the owner flaunting her success and money? How do you know everything is fine and dandy and a great profit is being made? Is that profit sustainable? Just because a business sees a little success doesn't mean extra money is up for grabs for the employees regardless of how key you feel your wife is to the success of the business. Employees may have put up the time but they got paid periodically. The owner has to put up the money, the risk of not getting any returns, and the time to make it succeed. Great employees are hard to find and an owner would do their best to keep them as long as they see value in them. Tell you wife to ask for a raise, if the owner says she can't then she's really not worth it to her. Friends or not, when you go into business, its better to be straight forward than to be behind each others back saying "I think she's taking advantage of me". Plus your wife ain't even complaining, it's you that's thinking too much and screwing with her head. If it isn't about the money then let you wife continue to do her dream job. That's the thing with dream jobs, they don't pay like you dreamt it would.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by dorkdog

Never ever ever mix friends and business.

There is truth in your words, white man.

[silverfishZ4M]

your wife doesn't have a contract? i'm not sure how it works in america though.

[mccannable]

Originally Posted by silverfishZ4M

your wife doesn't have a contract? i'm not sure how it works in america though.

No. But she doesn't want to leave either. I was more just looking for feedback I see if I was off base, doesn't seem so.

[mact3333]

Originally Posted by dorkdog

I read no further after this; didn't need to.

Never ever ever mix friends and business. It never turns out well. I do not need to read the details to know exactly what is happening. Generally costs the friendship too so prepare.

Ding Ding Ding Ding...

[whats77inaname]

In response to this statement

Originally Posted by R Grubba Balls

cut off the studio owner, your wife should own her classes and teach at the park! and if it works out, get her own studio.

you responded with

Originally Posted by mccannable

I wish I had the time and care to help her do this.

Yet, later on, you said this

Originally Posted by mccannable

Because she is my wife it is my business. Especially when volunteering a lot of hours and investing in others success instead of ours.

Basically, you just said that even though you're pissed with your wife/her situation, you don't a) care enough about it to *do* anything about it and b) can't make the time to help her get started doing her own thing, even if she wanted to do that. You're complaining about her contributing to the success of another business instead of your success as a family, but I have to ask you: at this point, in this situation, what have you done to *help* her invest more into the success of your family other than complain? Did you possibly think that she wouldn't even entertain doing her own thing considering the fact that you're griping a her already about the time she spends @ a studio that she doesn't even own, given the fact that sole proprietors have to work that much harder to succeed? I'm not saying you're being an ass or anything like that, but she's probably stuck between a rock (helping her friend) and a hard place (hearing it from you).

Like you said, b/c she is your wife, it is your business. It is also your business to do all you can to help her succeed, b/c that's what husbands are for.

We all know you mean well, and your concerns are justified, but if you feel she's being taken advantage of, help her figure out what to do to curb it instead of driving a wedge between the both of you over this issue.

What are the stipulations of her non-compete?

[KwlAznKid]

honestly this is tough because none of us know how the "dance" business works, it is TYPICAL for a teacher to travel and pay for her own expenses and all that? if that's what's accepted in the field then you sort of are stuck man, I know it sucks. but on the other hand if other teachers that are in similar positions of her at other dance studies ARE compensated for their time/travel etc.. then she's being ripped and she should definitely do something about it

[mccannable]

Originally Posted by whats77inaname

In response to this statement


you responded with



Yet, later on, you said this




Basically, you just said that even though you're pissed with your wife/her situation, you don't a) care enough about it to *do* anything about it and b) can't make the time to help her get started doing her own thing, even if she wanted to do that. You're complaining about her contributing to the success of another business instead of your success as a family, but I have to ask you: at this point, in this situation, what have you done to *help* her invest more into the success of your family other than complain? Did you possibly think that she wouldn't even entertain doing her own thing considering the fact that you're griping a her already about the time she spends @ a studio that she doesn't even own, given the fact that sole proprietors have to work that much harder to succeed? I'm not saying you're being an ass or anything like that, but she's probably stuck between a rock (helping her friend) and a hard place (hearing it from you).

Like you said, b/c she is your wife, it is your business. It is also your business to do all you can to help her succeed, b/c that's what husbands are for.

We all know you mean well, and your concerns are justified, but if you feel she's being taken advantage of, help her figure out what to do to curb it instead of driving a wedge between the both of you over this issue.

What are the stipulations of her non-compete?

Caring and starting business are 2 very different things.

[Nkc]

Originally Posted by mccannable

Caring and starting business are 2 very different things.

I think you just want to hear everyone agree that your wife is being taken advantage of.

[mccannable]

Originally Posted by Nkc

I think you just want to hear everyone agree that your wife is being taken advantage of.

No. Just looking to see if I am out of line. Would I like to feel justified? yes. Do I feel justified? For the most part. Is the issue black and white? nope. Is starting a business in this field in our immediate future? Not as of the current.


Edit: I do appreciate the discussion and feedback