[C5driver]

Originally Posted by Lups

Oh, the thing is, the fucker makes it all seem too easy, so everyone just assumes she never lifts her fat ass.

You look at her ass?

[Delta0311]

Originally Posted by C5driver

You look at her ass?

And occasionally wipes it.. Hey those M cars don't come cheap.

[C5driver]

Originally Posted by Lups

I'm switching off my work phone at 7.30 tonight. I expect great drunk texting gf!

[C5driver]

Originally Posted by Delta0311

And occasionally wipes it.. Hey those M cars don't come cheap.

Dickless wonder...

[Lups]

Originally Posted by C5driver

You look at her ass?

Well yeah, she's into goats too!

I get these weird assignments like "it is after ten pm. Go wake the old lady next door and ask her to come take a shot of my ass while I pose next to my car."

I'm not shitting, there she was, in her garage, next to her Audi or something. Fucking a...

Oh, she insists I check her texts, and dude there are some weird folks around. Who the fuck texts pics of carrots with cuffs?

I know charity. I think she is doing it wrong.

[ASBSECU E93]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

For some reason this one cracked me the fuck up. haha

Haven't we all....

[Delta0311]

Originally Posted by Lups

Well yeah, she's into goats too!

I get these weird assignments like "it is after ten pm. Go wake the old lady next door and ask her to come take a shot of my ass while I pose next to my car."

I'm not shitting, there she was, in her garage, next to her Audi or something. Fucking a...

Oh, she insists I check her texts, and dude there are some weird folks around. Who the fuck texts pics of carrots with cuffs?

I know charity. I think she is doing it wrong.

After 10pm, old lady, take pics of my ass next to the Audi; where the fuck do you work at? Is this a brothel?

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by Lups

Well yeah, she's into goats too!

I get these weird assignments like "it is after ten pm. Go wake the old lady next door and ask her to come take a shot of my ass while I pose next to my car."

I'm not shitting, there she was, in her garage, next to her Audi or something. Fucking a...

Oh, she insists I check her texts, and dude there are some weird folks around. Who the fuck texts pics of carrots with cuffs?

I know charity. I think she is doing it wrong.

I swear if my boss asks me to take a picture of his junk i'm gonna lose it. Goats or no goats i may have to draw the line there.

Unless, maybe i could get a nice long vacation out of it along with my big fat raise.

Taking a picture of anther guy's junk doesn't make me gay, does it?

[C5driver]

Originally Posted by Lups

Oh, she insists I check her texts, and dude there are some weird folks around. Who the fuck texts pics of carrots with cuffs?

Take a timeout and step back for a minute and evaluate the pic.

Clearly the carrot indicates thoughtfulness. They understand pacifists and their need to abstain from the use of icky gun stuff, but at the same time, understand the need for self defense and a good stabbing tool, and thus the carrot.

[C5driver]

Originally Posted by Delta0311

Is this a brothel?

Insane asylum...

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Delta0311

After 10pm, old lady, take pics of my ass next to the Audi; where the fuck do you work at? Is this a brothel?

I am starting to think so!!

The ass pic was the last straw for me though. Who makes their neighbor take a shot like that at 10pm?

http://f80.bimmerpost.com/forums/sho....php?t=1190515

[Delta0311]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

I swear if my boss asks me to take a picture of his junk i'm gonna lose it. Goats or no goats i may have to draw the line there.

Unless, maybe i could get a nice long vacation out of it along with my big fat raise.

Taking a picture of anther guy's junk doesn't make me gay, does it?

Nah, it's perfectly normal for two bros to take pics of each others ass. And while you're at it, hop on in the shower and have him shave your back.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

I swear if my boss asks me to take a picture of his junk i'm gonna lose it. Goats or no goats i may have to draw the line there.

Unless, maybe i could get a nice long vacation out of it along with my big fat raise.

Taking a picture of anther guy's junk doesn't make me gay, does it?

Yeah. I feel your pain. It just doesn't stop!

Originally Posted by C5driver

Take a timeout and step back for a minute and evaluate the pic.

Clearly the carrot indicates thoughtfulness. They understand pacifists and their need to abstain from the use of icky gun stuff, but at the same time, understand the need for self defense and a good stabbing tool, and thus the carrot.

The hell it does! I saw the texts, the carrot wasn't for lunch!

Pacifist my ass, she's a psycho. Half of the time every day she has this insane grin on her face when someone has been serious and that made her day.

[C5driver]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Taking a picture of anther guys junk doesn't make me gay, does it?

Listen, if I were you he offers me a Yellowstone trip, I'd suck his dick like I was angry at it.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by C5driver

Listen, if I were you he offers me a Yellowstone trip, I'd suck his dick like I was angry at it.

Bro, stop making me laugh, my boss is gonna hear me!

[C5driver]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Bro, stop making me laugh, my boss is gonna hear me!

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Bro, stop making me laugh, my boss is gonna hear me!

No shit. I'm on the phone trying to convince this local hotel dude to hand me over more towels and old sheets and talking about asses. If my life was any stranger I'd win awards for this!

[MrPrena]

1. I had a boss who will mispronounce names. I don't know he can't tell the difference or he is deliberately doing it to make us laugh, but it got me more confused than annoying.

DuPont= Dwi Pong
Sherwin Williams= Shi Vu Williams.
Goldplane= Golpu Land
Westin=Western (gets really confused with this, because we had vendor named Western)
Xylene= Sai Lee
Library= Liability

He was once drafting something on Saxby's and spelled SEX BEE.

Oh yeah, he calls Greenbay Packers = GREEN BEAR....


2. I had a female boss who will call me into her office and explain about email she receive and update her.
She gets so many porn spam email (during early 00s when there were porn spam epidemic). It gets me real awkward.
SHe goes "I don't know why I get these kinda email on company email."

(well... stop watching porn at work?????)

[F30lolz]

Two IT guys and myself aren't eligible for bonuses because we are considered overhead costs, yet he has no problem shelling out $4k bonuses for employees who only last 2 months here at a time (most likely hush hush money).

[EL Jeffe 5]

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by F30lolz

Two IT guys and myself aren't eligible for bonuses because we are considered overhead costs, yet he has no problem shelling out $4k bonuses for employees who only last 2 months here at a time (most likely hush hush money).

Shut up and get back in your hole tech hole!! lol

[Arnold_Powers]

shes my mother....