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      03-22-2021, 02:42 PM   #8031
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Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
Saturday night he asked if he could take me to brunch in the morning. What am I going to say, no? Lol. I thought it was a bit soon, but I went to brunch with him anyways.

We’ll see. He’s very nice to me, although why do guys feel the need to be so macho towards others when going out?
I think there should be a happy medium of macho. It shouldn't be apparent, but when necessary it should be invoked. If he is macho without need then he may have underlying insecurities, or he is trying to show off. Who knows, your guess is as good as ours, might have a small package.
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      03-22-2021, 02:46 PM   #8032
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
Saturday night he asked if he could take me to brunch in the morning. What am I going to say, no? Lol. I thought it was a bit soon, but I went to brunch with him anyways.

We’ll see. He’s very nice to me, although why do guys feel the need to be so macho towards others when going out?
That's a sign of insecurity.
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      03-22-2021, 02:54 PM   #8033
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Sara504 macho in what regard?
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      03-22-2021, 02:58 PM   #8034
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Originally Posted by rebekahb View Post
Sara504 macho in what regard?
Getting into an argument with the wait staff over something so trivial as spilling a tiny bit of a drink. The waiter apologized and I think it was just embarrassing that an argument ensued. That was the only hiccup of the night, but it still really bothered me.
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      03-22-2021, 02:59 PM   #8035
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yikes
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      03-22-2021, 03:06 PM   #8036
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
Getting into an argument with the wait staff
That's strike 1, 2 and 3 in my opinion. Anyone who treats waiting staff with a lack of respect, gets none from me.
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      03-22-2021, 03:37 PM   #8037
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
Getting into an argument with the wait staff over something so trivial as spilling a tiny bit of a drink.
Looks like a potential red flag to me.
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      03-22-2021, 03:38 PM   #8038
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
Getting into an argument with the wait staff over something so trivial as spilling a tiny bit of a drink. The waiter apologized and I think it was just embarrassing that an argument ensued. That was the only hiccup of the night, but it still really bothered me.
Red Flag.

Treatment of waitstaff is at the top of my list to check for character flaws. How one treats someone dependent on them is crucial.

Huge Warning.
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      03-22-2021, 03:54 PM   #8039
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I agree with all above comments. I don't look at that as macho but arrogant and a superiority vibe. That's disturbing and would give me pause.
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      03-22-2021, 04:32 PM   #8040
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebekahb View Post
I agree with all above comments. I don't look at that as macho but arrogant and a superiority vibe. That's disturbing and would give me pause.
She'll be needing some of these.

Pick some up, Sara504!!
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      03-22-2021, 04:39 PM   #8041
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on to the next macho man!
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      03-22-2021, 04:41 PM   #8042
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
She'll be needing some of these.

Pick some up, Sara504!!
Dancing shoes??
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      03-22-2021, 05:02 PM   #8043
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
Getting into an argument with the wait staff over something so trivial as spilling a tiny bit of a drink. The waiter apologized and I think it was just embarrassing that an argument ensued. That was the only hiccup of the night, but it still really bothered me.
That's not macho. That's assholery. Now if the waiter had not apologized or took an attitude, I could see a disagreement starting, but that wasn't the case.
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      03-22-2021, 05:20 PM   #8044
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
That's not macho. That's assholery. Now if the waiter had not apologized or took an attitude, I could see a disagreement starting, but that wasn't the case.
I take mine back.

Now, if the waiter dropped it on SARA, then laughed, it would be time for the macho beat-down.
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      03-22-2021, 05:39 PM   #8045
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
He’s very nice to me, although why do guys feel the need to be so macho towards others when going out?
Insecure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
Getting into an argument with the wait staff over something so trivial as spilling a tiny bit of a drink.
Douche canoe.
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      03-22-2021, 05:45 PM   #8046
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As everyone has already stated here, stay clear of a dude like that. I'll bet it's just the tip of the iceberg.
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      03-22-2021, 06:01 PM   #8047
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Originally Posted by TiMSport View Post
As everyone has already stated here, stay clear of a dude like that. I'll bet it's just the tip of the iceberg.
He said it...

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      03-22-2021, 06:03 PM   #8048
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
He said it...

LOL. What, did he promise "just the tip"? I thought only guys in high school did that!
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      03-22-2021, 06:04 PM   #8049
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Originally Posted by Tambohamilton View Post
Dancing shoes??
Track...she'll be needing to sprint away from that one!!
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      03-22-2021, 06:16 PM   #8050
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinonz View Post
And I'm not a smooth talker either. I'm a shy introvert, conversations with strangers are very difficult until I start to learn their true passions and interests. I hate small talk with a passion, but it's necessary to get to know someone.

I asked her a lot about herself, she answered - when I stop asking, she stops talking. Don't think she ever once asked me a question about anything. And the remaining 3 I sent an initial message to, and have not heard a word in over 3 months.
I feel your pain on this Dinon, and don't have a solution. I am ok in the looks department, but I'm a total introvert and hate small talk, so I also i find it very hard to start the convo/keep it going if they aren't really saying much. I also find I'll try to get the convo going by asking about stuff in their profile/pictures or their interests, but usually get dry, few word responses and if I don't ask/say anything they don't keep the convo going, never ask me anything, etc.. Tough game for us dudes that aren't smooth talkers
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      03-22-2021, 06:23 PM   #8051
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Originally Posted by IllSic_Design View Post
I feel your pain on this Dinon, and don't have a solution. I am ok in the looks department, but I'm a total introvert and hate small talk, so I also i find it very hard to start the convo/keep it going if they aren't really saying much. I also find I'll try to get the convo going by asking about stuff in their profile/pictures or their interests, but usually get dry, few word responses and if I don't ask/say anything they don't keep the convo going, never ask me anything, etc.. Tough game for us dudes that aren't smooth talkers
dinonz

Gentlemen, here it goes:

Do you have a pet? What type? Do you have pictures?
Hair. Always ask about the hair.
What's the most interesting thing you've ever done?

If you genuinely like dogs, get one. This isn't as a prop but so many ladies love dogs. When I have Carrington and take him out and about, so many ladies ask about him and even take his picture.

Don't ask the questions if you aren't genuinely interested in people. It can come off as rather creepy.

Just remember this key: All you have to do is get anyone to speak quite liberally is to get them to speak about themselves.

As my dear friend and attorney says, "If you could pick horses as good as you pick-up women, we wouldn't have to ever work again!"

Edit: On addressing profiles, speak about eyes and smile, i.e., "I can tell by your eyes and smile that you have a kind spirit and good heart. It's really nice to still see that in someone after we've all had such a difficult 2020. What has been your secret to handling it all?" Bingo.
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      03-22-2021, 06:44 PM   #8052
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
dinonz

Gentlemen, here it goes:

Do you have a pet? What type? Do you have pictures?
Hair. Always ask about the hair.
What's the most interesting thing you've ever done?

If you genuinely like dogs, get one. This isn't as a prop but so many ladies love dogs. When I have Carrington and take him out and about, so many ladies ask about him and even take his picture.

Don't ask the questions if you aren't genuinely interested in people. It can come off as rather creepy.

Just remember this key: All you have to do is get anyone to speak quite liberally is to get them to speak about themselves.

As my dear friend and attorney says, "If you could pick horses as good as you pick-up women, we wouldn't have to ever work again!"

Edit: On addressing profiles, speak about eyes and smile, i.e., "I can tell by your eyes and smile that you have a kind spirit and good heart. It's really nice to still see that in someone after we've all had such a difficult 2020. What has been your secret to handling it all?" Bingo.

Thanks but I always try to ask/initiate convo's like this. I usually get one or two word replies, and have to try to keep the convo going. And they never ask anything, just reply with what I asked them.
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