[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Sara

I just want to have fun. I'm not looking to get married tomorrow or have kids, etc. I'm having fun, that's what dating is about. If one of these guys, or someone else completely is someone I find that I like spending more time with than not, then I'm not opposed to being taken off the market. Until then, I'm having my fun. At least that's how I feel about it for today. Subject to change.

That's cool, you do you. But I do sincerely hope that anyone that is using dating apps trying to find a meaningful, long-term relationship has been taking notes.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Sara;

Come again? lol


No, that's actually a good idea. I didn't even think about that. That's exactly what I'll do.

I have very lax views on things like this.
If you lived near me and we wanted to go to lunch, I would pay with no expectation (single or married) but at some point if we are "friends" and we keep going to lunch, offer at some point. Or if you ask me to go somewhere, then you can pay.

I know I went off to left field but...or maybe I'm asking you to lunch

[Sara]

Originally Posted by TommyG-inFlaNow

I have very lax views on things like this.
If you lived near me and we wanted to go to lunch, I would pay with no expectation (single or married) but at some point if we are "friends" and we keep going to lunch, offer at some point. Or if you ask me to go somewhere, then you can pay.

I know I went off to left field but...or maybe I'm asking you to lunch

Perfect, where are you taking me? Lol

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Sara;

Perfect, where are you taking me? Lol

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

That's cool, you do you. But I do sincerely hope that anyone that is using dating apps trying to find a meaningful, long-term relationship has been taking notes.

Well stated.

I've tried replying to this several times today and...well, I just can't. I'll try a different approach. I'll let the answer come from the internet. As an experiment, I'll google "when women just want to have fun" then post the first link google yaks up.

https://www.quora.com/What-does-it-m...ts-to-have-fun

Yes, I think this gets the point across nicely.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sara

Choose you and do what you want.

Yes, but that doesn't give you a green light to be an asshole to people because you want to have fun. Have fun, be respectful of other people. Trying to decide which of three friends you are interested in the most, straight up makes you the woman that we all avoid on dating apps....unless we just want laid.

[upstatedoc]

Now we're cookin

[4Hockey4]

Been with my wife almost 30 years and I do what I want mostly, and mostly I'd like to be with her. When I want left alone, or go golf, or car stuff, I go...and she does her thing...most of the time we like to be together, zero "obligation"

Its not mutually exclusive...hopefully everyone can find that one day. Until then, just have fun !!!

carry on

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sara

Not at all. I'm extremely nice to all of them. I'm not an asshole whatsoever. Test driving a vehicle before I buy it does not make me an asshole. For all I know, each one of them could be doing the exact same to me, and I've realized they aren't an asshole for that. That's just how it is.

I wasn't calling you an asshole as in you are mean or rude to them. Test driving doesn't make you an asshole. What makes you an asshole is that you have multiple men you can't decide what to do what with who, but you want a man that puts you on a pedestal and makes you feel special. Let me ask this, if you find (what you consider Mr. Right) and he is juggling as many women as you are men, how "right" is he? Let's say out of his stable of women he is talking to, you are Mr. C to him; but he is everything to you (Mr. Right right?). How will this make you feel? How do you think it feels to men actually trying to find someone? This makes you an asshole. If you want to have fun, make that clear on your profile. Leaving it open is baiting and irresponsible. "I just want to have fun unless your hot, wealthy and serious; then it's different." No man worth his salt will be on board with this. Douche bags and simps....this is their life.

If everyone you were interested in, only contacted you when you reached out, would you continue to try? This is how frustrating online dating is for men.

You want what you want with no regard of anyone else. Genuinely not trying to be a dick, just straight-forward food for thought. Most people don't consider these things until it happens to them.

Another point to ponder. If you finally find Mr. Right and he wants something substantial and you only want to have fun, do you think a non-simp man is going to make the effort? Men and women worth having, don't fuck around; we don't have time for it. We look for someone to add something to our lives, not play cat and mouse while the other person is trying to figure out what they want.

[M5Rick]

Originally Posted by Sara

On Bumble and Hinge you can select what you're looking for. The options are: "something causal", "dont know", "relationship", and "marriage." It also gives you the option to not select any. I don't have anything selected on my profile, so they shouldn't assume I'm looking to get wifed up today. But to each their own. If I find Mr. Right, that's a different story.

The question asking is what would you consider as someone vying for Mr. Right if I'm not being too forward, what qualities and inequalities would be on par with your expectations.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sara

I would type a lengthy reply, but I don't have time right now. I will edit this later tonight and add my reasons.

In short, not all men want what you're looking for on the apps and there is nothing wrong with that and they are not assholes and neither am I or any woman like me. I have been asked, right off the bat when a guy texts me and says "what are you looking for?" and I have responded with "Just looking to have fun and see if anything grows from there" and they still want to date me. If they fall in love that's on them, not me.

I'm not on the apps. If I want to be jerked around by people that have no intention of being transparent; I go to work. I do know that if I were on a dating app, I wouldn't waste my effort or time trying to chat with someone who shows no interest or so inundated with so many men that they don't know what to do.

The reason men want to date women who respond with "I just want to have fun" is because there is greater likelihood of having sex. That's it. That's why they still want to date. As for A, B and C....I'm a man, I have friends. We have done some shady shit. I would almost bet money that they are all 3 talking with one another and possibly have a bet going on. Let me put it this way. If there was one man trying to get with 3 women who are all friends. Do you think those 3 women will not discuss it? Just trying to help paint a picture....it's obviously not working.

You know what? You're most likely right on all of it. Just keep doing what you're doing. I'm most certain everything will turn out great. Just ignore me.

[Tambohamilton]

You mention expectations in dates...what about hopes?

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by Sara

I seem to have a thing for pilots now that I think about it.

Hahaha, now that is funny. As soon as overseas flights would be constantly possible and have short vacations above of the flight, I'll give you a call
You know how to find a pilot into a bar? He would tell you

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by Dang3r

Hahaha, now that is funny. As soon as overseas flights would be constantly possible and have short vacations above of the flight, I'll give you a call
You know how to find a pilot into a bar? He would tell you

Dang3r - are you ok if I PM you to ask about foreign pilots flying in Germany (and Europe in general if you know) on a foreign license in a foreign registered plane?

[JP10]

Modern dating is fuked up lol. Maybe I'm old school, but I'm just saying. Sounds like a headache. Wouldn't even call it dating anymore, just fuking around haha.

[swagon]

Here's how things work with women on dating apps, in my experience. There are three types, generally speaking.

1. "no hook ups" - will come round for Nyetflix & Chill either right away without even a date or on the first date.

2. "not looking for anything serious, seeing where things go" - will usually not put out until at least two or three dates and only if she felt a spark on the cute dates. Third date she gets invited home for dinner (and sex).

3. "want serious relationships only" - will make Mr. Right wait way too many dates to make him think she's not like others, but in the meantime may or may not shag a lad who's on the apps just to pump & dump.

Nothing wrong with any of the above. Just with the one who bangs behind Mr. Right's back.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Sara

Well let’s just hope he knows he’s going to #6 in line. after bugging and bugging me, sure buy us a drink, why not? Probably be great conversation and I make a new friend. Glad to keep you all entertained and enlightened on the way I view things. I’ve got a full plate starting in the morning and need to see my family and nieces at some point this weekend. So y’all take care and enjoy yourselves!

i wouldve been DUECES!!!
not waiting in line for no1.

[cmyx6go]

Let’s turn this around. After several dates with A, Sara brings him to meet a few of her friends. Two of them send him invites or whatever they are called and he accepts both and starts chatting it up with both. I’m sure Sara would be calling him all kinds of names.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by swagon

1. "no hook ups" - will come round for Nyetflix & Chill either right away without even a date or on the first date.

I'm not sure if this was intentional, but holy shit did this make me laugh. I am definitely adding 'Nyetflix' to my vocabulary.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Let’s turn this around. After several dates with A, Sara brings him to meet a few of her friends. Two of them send him invites or whatever they are called and he accepts both and starts chatting it up with both. I’m sure Sara would be calling him all kinds of names.

If memory serves me correctly, I believe one of Sara's friends who was dating someone walked into a bar / restaurant one time to find the individual chatting with two women and it seemed to me that there was outrage expressed about this?

Are the two situations really any different?

[King Rudi]

Let me try this out. "I've now realized I'm too nice."

No...I'm still an asshole regardless of how I try to spin it. Another way of putting it is that I'm transparent, straight-forward and speak my mind to convey a message. I'm only an asshole to those receiving the message. I'm fucking hilarious to the onlookers.

[nyalpine90]