[dinonz]

If you feel so inclined, raise a toast to my ex-gf - she passed away today. This is the same friend who had the massive brain tumor removed 8 months ago - just when she finally finished physical therapy and was getting back to life something happened - we don't know what yet.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sara

What’s wrong with meeting people on dating apps? A lot are decent. For the record, B and D are extremely kind, generous and all around just good people. Though, I can’t believe I’m admitting this, I didn’t meet D on a dating app.

This response will require some wordsmithing and thought. I want to reply in a very transparent/blunt manner, but I also would like my honesty not to get me in hot water. Let me think about this and I'll come back.

[JP10]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

This response will require some wordsmithing and thought. I want to reply in a very transparent/blunt manner, but I also would like my honesty not to get me in hot water. Let me think about this and I'll come back.

[M5Rick]

Originally Posted by JP10

I knew I'd see the popcorn,I just ''knew it''.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

This response will require some wordsmithing and thought. I want to reply in a very transparent/blunt manner, but I also would like my honesty not to get me in hot water. Let me think about this and I'll come back.

EDIT: I guess I should have read all the posts. JP beat me to it.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by dinonz

If you feel so inclined, raise a toast to my ex-gf - she passed away today. This is the same friend who had the massive brain tumor removed 8 months ago - just when she finally finished physical therapy and was getting back to life something happened - we don't know what yet.

Very sorry to hear, it's obvious that even though she was an ex you still cared for her greatly.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by dinonz

If you feel so inclined, raise a toast to my ex-gf - she passed away today. This is the same friend who had the massive brain tumor removed 8 months ago - just when she finally finished physical therapy and was getting back to life something happened - we don't know what yet.

I'm so sorry. May she rest in peace.

[NoMoreVauxhalls]

Originally Posted by dinonz

If you feel so inclined, raise a toast to my ex-gf - she passed away today. This is the same friend who had the massive brain tumor removed 8 months ago - just when she finally finished physical therapy and was getting back to life something happened - we don't know what yet.

Sorry to hear this. And made all the worse because she seemed to be well on the road to recovery. I'm sure she'll be fondly remembered by many.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sara

What’s wrong with meeting people on dating apps? A lot are decent. For the record, B and D are extremely kind, generous and all around just good people. Though, I can’t believe I’m admitting this, I didn’t meet D on a dating app.

Alright, so here goes. For about the 1 1/2 - 2 years I spent, off and on, dating sites, I would consider my experiences...."fruitful." I would go as far as to say 90% of the women I messaged replied. If they replied, we had at least one date. Most all first dates ended in sex....if not the first, then the second. I was going through a pretty weird emotional phase at that point in life and was extremely reckless. I was upfront with each and every one of those ladies and explained my situation. I wasn't looking for love, didn't expect to find it on a dating site and just took the entire situation as it was.

With all this being said, I'll just come right out with it. It would truly bother me as a man to know that my sweet loving wife, had been in bed with someone like me. Sex is sex, yes; but....well, let's just say I'm a bit different. I have no inhibitions, have no problems being vocal about what I want and well....some of the things I've done to those women and things they've done with me.....I should seriously write a book.

The only conclusion that I am left with, is due to sheer numbers of these women (ages ranging in early 20's to mid to late 50's) and their eagerness to hop in bed with me and aforementioned acts performed, leaves me thinking that this is normal for these women. I imagine that after their week, to a month, of talking/coming to see me, that after it ended, they continued the same behavior with the other guys on the apps. Ladies and gents, I believe that we are all in agreeance that the ladies have no shortage of options on the dating apps. As referenced before, for ladies, it's a never-ending carousel of dick for them to choose from.

Story time behind my opinion on this. A few years after deciding I was done with the dating apps, I ran into a girl, in the grocery store, that I had met on one of the apps. She was by herself, saw me, smiled, acted like she wanted to talk and then suddenly the biggest simp I think I've ever laid eyes on, comes up to her from behind, wrap his arms around her and kisses her on the cheek. I acted like I didn't know her and kept walking. It was at that point my conscience finally arrived. I felt terrible for that guy. That woman was/potentially still is, head over heels in love with her, but would he still be if he had any idea, not only things I did to her, but what about all the other guys??? I was not kind to her during the act. I wasn't mean, but she got violated and used. She was also a very sweet shy religious type girl with a self-proclaimed bad side....she had no idea how vanilla her bad side was until she met me.

So my point is this, if the girl off the dating site gives it up easy, how many other guys before and after you, is she going to give it up that easy to? And did she give it up some guy that is a demon in the sack? Some the acts done with the ladies that I met off the apps are not acts that I would want to know someone had done to my endearing wife. Trust me. Their reactions at the time are indicative that they had never experienced such a thing. I was even told my many that no one had done anything like that to them. Reflecting on it now, there is sex that you have with your SO and then there is sex that you have with someone that means nothing to you (i.e. you don't give a shit about what they think after it's over). These women fall into that category. I somewhat feel awkward saying this, but I found that women loved being treated like a toy (this is the most polite way I can put it) during sex versus being treated with respect, which is what man would expect a woman to want. Not the case.

All I have to go on in life are my personal experiences and the end results that I have witnessed. Again, I'm glad that I did not meet the current girlfriend on a dating site and glad she's never been on one.

Crossing my fingers that this doesn't get seen.

To touch on the point of the fine people on dating apps. There are tons of nice people on dating apps that have no other options of meeting people. I don't disagree with this, but from my experiences of dating apps.....people that make porn, need lessons is all I'll say

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by dinonz

If you feel so inclined, raise a toast to my ex-gf - she passed away today. This is the same friend who had the massive brain tumor removed 8 months ago - just when she finally finished physical therapy and was getting back to life something happened - we don't know what yet.

Dino, I felt like this needed it's own response. I'm so very sorry to hear. My thoughts are with you.

[M5Rick]

Originally Posted by dinonz

If you feel so inclined, raise a toast to my ex-gf - she passed away today. This is the same friend who had the massive brain tumor removed 8 months ago - just when she finally finished physical therapy and was getting back to life something happened - we don't know what yet.

Sorry for your loss and so suddenly.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by dinonz

If you feel so inclined, raise a toast to my ex-gf - she passed away today. This is the same friend who had the massive brain tumor removed 8 months ago - just when she finally finished physical therapy and was getting back to life something happened - we don't know what yet.

Damn.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

With all this being said, I'll just come right out with it. It would truly bother me as a man to know that my sweet loving wife, had been in bed with someone like me.

Curious to know if you've been in a situation where you discovered things about an SO you wish you hadn't, and if so how you dealt with it. I agree with your sentiment, it's a mindfuck.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by dinonz

If you feel so inclined, raise a toast to my ex-gf - she passed away today. This is the same friend who had the massive brain tumor removed 8 months ago - just when she finally finished physical therapy and was getting back to life something happened - we don't know what yet.

sorry for your loss

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by dinonz

If you feel so inclined, raise a toast to my ex-gf - she passed away today. This is the same friend who had the massive brain tumor removed 8 months ago - just when she finally finished physical therapy and was getting back to life something happened - we don't know what yet.

Sorry to hear that Dinonz - that sucks. Will be raising a glass with the neighbour tonight and hope you are too!

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Curious to know if you've been in a situation where you discovered things about an SO you wish you hadn't, and if so how you dealt with it. I agree with your sentiment, it's a mindfuck.

I have indeed experienced this. Both wives. The first wife was a never ending series of learning new things about her. These were not findings that I held in high regard. Honestly, had I known half of them before the wedding, the wedding would not have taken place. Second wife...she was gorgeous. Beautiful, half Italian/half German brunette with green and brown eyes, hilarious, quick-witted and very intelligent....she also knew how to play men effortlessly. I got schooled and she tore my heart out. At one time, I felt something was off with the second wife, so I started paying close attention to behaviors, slight changes, etc. I later found that she was cheating on me. I made the mistake of going through her phone. The amount of messages that I saw with the number of guys that she was talking to and the amount of dick pics......wow; and some of these were my "friends" that I introduced her to. We ended it, got back together, tried to make it work, she cheated again, we ended it, tried the open relationship route and ended it for good once she found I banged her co-worker who was hotter than she is. These were very troubling times for me and ultimately made me the jaded asshole that I am today...read as "wise."

To answer your question directly, I found pictures that he or she took while in the act, so not only did I find out it happened, I saw photo evidence with two different people that I was friends with. A mindfuck indeed. I did not deal with it well. I was not the man that I am now back then. The morning that I saw the pictures in her phone, I woke her up and calmly explained that I went through her phone and I felt like there was nothing for us to discuss. I knew everything I needed and walked out the door. This was not the end for us though, it went on for another 2 years after. Extremely toxic relationship. It finally ended when she moved to England after marrying the guy she told me she was only pen pals with for 7 years.

Before the current girlfriend, I dated this cute little brunette with freckles. We went on a few dates, I was a complete gentlemen with her. I later found out that she dated one of my co-workers. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with this, but the co-worker can barely spell his own name. I ended it with her the same day I found out that she actually dated this guy for a while. My thoughts on this were, if that guys mentality and attitude was good enough for her, then she was not on my level.

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Curious to know if you've been in a situation where you discovered things about an SO you wish you hadn't, and if so how you dealt with it. I agree with your sentiment, it's a mindfuck.

For better or worse, those things I see as 'she's with me now, so I'm the winner'... I'd be lying if I said that stopped them playing on my mind though.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

If I can’t/couldn’t charm someone in person I don’t want that work. There is correlation between offline and online profile, but most valuable human interaction requires verbal AND non verbal communication in the flesh. Not calculated responses.

I could MEET someone on a dating app but I wouldnt be a good pen pal. Even if its JUST meeting for a cup of coffee it would have to happen quickly, Im not texting someone I dont know for very long.

You can only begin to actually get to know someone in person. How they really look, how they really sound, read their body language, etc. I felt sorry for my friends who were trying to date in covid, spending a lot of time online with someone only to finally get them to meet IRL and another person shows up.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I have indeed experienced this.

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

For better or worse, those things I see as 'she's with me now, so I'm the winner'... I'd be lying if I said that stopped them playing on my mind though.

Thanks for the input gents.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

For better or worse, those things I see as 'she's with me now, so I'm the winner'... I'd be lying if I said that stopped them playing on my mind though.

Sometimes the "She's with me now" mentality is not accurate. I honestly feel bad for the second ex-wife's new husband. She's with him now, but I'm the winner.

As for the mind-fuckery, even with the current girlfriend, my mind still gets the better of me. Every time I hear her fb messenger notification, it automatically makes me think it's another guy; even though she's given me absolutely no reason to think such a thing. Our minds always get the better of us....especially if you've already been through a traumatic experience concerning the same topic.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Before the current girlfriend, I dated this cute little brunette with freckles. We went on a few dates, I was a complete gentlemen with her. I later found out that she dated one of my co-workers. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with this, but the co-worker can barely spell his own name. I ended it with her the same day I found out that she actually dated this guy for a while. My thoughts on this were, if that guys mentality and attitude was good enough for her, then she was not on my level.

I had a similar situation but after the fact, like she was getting revenge on me by dating someone I knew. It definitely reinforced my decision.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Our minds always get the better of us....especially if you've already been through a traumatic experience concerning the same topic.

Well put. My current situation is complicated to say the least. I'm working through some mental gymnastics that have entered the arena. I'm confident I can. This thread is actually therapeutic in some ways, so I appreciate everyone sharing to the degree that you do.