[Sara]

Originally Posted by Cyn-BMW

Then you are living/going to the wrong places. There are good people everywhere. What you basically just said is, you are better than everyone else around you.

Not necessarily. I get uncomfortable when someone starts talking to me when I'm out with my girlfriends. Earlier this summer, I was at bar with my girlfriend and these guys kept coming up to us. I thought in my mind that was extremely rude on their part. I'm over here trying to enjoy happy hour with my friend and you're just going to barge in and try to strike up a conversation? Rude.

Additionally, most guys don't take the hint that we aren't interested in you joining in on our happy hour. I had to text a guy friend who lived a block away to come rescue us, which he did. This happens allll the time. It's frustrating. So, for me, don't approach me in public unless I'm expecting you. I give off instant bitch vibes.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by M5Rick

Trouble is in the 'real world' where you are around there may not be many that click with you i.e. quite a few low lifes or it's just the wrong type of places you go to, so at least on dating sites with like minded ones you can juggle around, narrow the target dates and go from there.

Exactly this.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

Am I the only one who would be a total slut if they were a woman?

Being a female isn't necessary here.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

Not necessarily. I get uncomfortable when someone starts talking to me when I'm out with my girlfriends. Earlier this summer, I was at bar with my girlfriend and these guys kept coming up to us. I thought in my mind that was extremely rude on their part. I'm over here trying to enjoy happy hour with my friend and you're just going to barge in and try to strike up a conversation? Rude.

Additionally, most guys don't take the hint that we aren't interested in you joining in on our happy hour. I had to text a guy friend who lived a block away to come rescue us, which he did. This happens allll the time. It's frustrating. So, for me, don't approach me in public unless I'm expecting you. I give off instant bitch vibes.

You miss 100% of the shots you never take…..


….and what I mean by that is, a guy has a 50/50 shot in any given situation. If he never makes an attempt he'll never know if he would've been successful.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

You miss 100% of the shots you never take…..


….and what I mean by that is, a guy has a 50/50 shot in any given situation. If he never makes an attempt he'll never know if he would've been successful.

Do it on someone else's happy hour!

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Sara

So, for me, don't approach me in public unless I'm expecting you. I give off instant bitch vibes.

So you're completely opposed to meeting someone in public just by chance?

[ASBSECU E93]

JFC….this endless circle of advice is pointless.

Literally a regurgitation of the exact same direction from 3 years ago….

shoei ….get your people….

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

JFC….this endless circle of advice is pointless.

Literally a regurgitation of the exact same direction from 3 years ago….

shoei ….get your people….

Welp! I knew somebody was going to say it…..

[ASBSECU E93]

Originally Posted by Sara

Do it on someone else's happy hour!

Ok - so…you want to meet someone, but only when it's convenient for you.

Also - here is a list of my standards this new man must have.

Also - I come with a shit TON of prior relationship baggage and other emotional needs….

This isn't going to play out how you imagine Sara, we've all had this same conversation ad nauseam in various forums and chats about you're dating expectations and patterns.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

Ok - so…you want to meet someone, but only when it's convenient for you.

Also - here is a list of my standards this new man must have.

Also - I come with a shit TON of prior relationship baggage and other emotional needs….

This isn't going to play out how you imagine Sara, we've all had this same conversation ad nauseam in various forums and chats about you're dating expectations and patterns.

Happy to provide the entertainment

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

For the most part, yes.

I have to be in the mood to meet someone. I had a guy come up to me in the frozen food aisle with his child and ask for my number. I hate that shit. I'm tired of it. I get chatted up at gas stations, the gun ranges, I'm tired of it. Periodt!


Edit: Just admire me from a distance. I have no problem making the first move. Let women be the ones to make the move and pursue. I feel like it's always the guys doing this. Just sit back, relax, and let women take charge for once.

Hmmmm! Your world view seems to be a tad bit……skewed.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

Hmmmm! Your world view seems to be a tad bit……skewed.

Have you met me? lol There is nothing normal about me. 1 of 1.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

Have you met me? lol There is nothing normal about me. 1 of 1.

….but being the outlier and having the expectations you have (…all while asking a man to pretty much ignore his very nature and ignore the socially implied/expected gender roles) has led to this endless cycle of, well……what gets depicted in this thread.

[M5Rick]

Originally Posted by Cyn-BMW

Then you are living/going to the wrong places. There are good people everywhere. What you basically just said is, you are better than everyone else around you.

No you got the wrong meaning of my gist. I went to the right place and by chance bumped quite literally into the right partner (see a previous post) and it was uptown. When you're on the lookout for a partner that ticks a lot of boxes I'm afraid that you have to think like that or just be wasting your time and of course be sensitive about it, you don't want to upset anyone. I'm sure you've heard the expression cruel to be kind.

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

….but being the outlier and having the expectations you have (…all while asking a man to pretty much ignore his very nature and ignore the socially implied/expected gender roles) has led to this endless cycle of, well……what gets depicted in this thread.

Shhhhhhhh it must continue.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sara

For the most part, yes.

I have to be in the mood to meet someone. I had a guy come up to me in the frozen food aisle with his child and ask for my number. I hate that shit. I'm tired of it. I get chatted up at gas stations, the gun ranges, I'm tired of it. Periodt!


Edit: Just admire me from a distance. I have no problem making the first move. Let women be the ones to make the move and pursue. I feel like it's always the guys doing this. Just sit back, relax, and let women take charge for once.

Just for reference, this does not work. Most men would still be waiting. Most women do not make an effort at all, unless it's someone they REALLY want to get to know. If women would actually take control, it would be awesome. If I had a dollar for everytime I've heard, "I didn't think you were ever going to ask" or "I thought that you wouldn't be interested", etc. Women need to be more vocal.

I'd also like to mention, in my experiences, the one's that do actually go after the guy are: intriguing and fun; but have absolutely no substance to them beyond sex.

[CTinline-six]

I've never met anyone in public, or really pursued anyone that way. It's always been in the "right" environment whether online, at a social gathering, workplace/school, through friends, etc.

Walking up to a random chick at a store and asking for her number seems like it won't work 99% of the time, even if you are a super attractive guy with good intentions. Maybe I'm biased as a millennial, and also a New Englander, but it just seems socially abnormal, which is a turn off.

I'm not saying I automatically assume anyone who approaches me is a weirdo, but even as a 31 year old physically fit guy I've had way too many strange encounters with odd people approaching me or following me I can't imagine how a woman would feel getting approached by random guys.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Just for reference, this does not work. Most men would still be waiting. Most women do not make an effort at all, unless it's someone they REALLY want to get to know. If women would actually take control, it would be awesome. If I had a dollar for everytime I've heard, "I didn't think you were ever going to ask" or "I thought that you wouldn't be interested", etc. Women need to be more vocal.

I'd also like to mention, in my experiences, the one's that do actually go after the guy are: intriguing and fun; but have absolutely no substance to them beyond sex.

Absolutely agree!!!

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I've never met anyone in public, or really pursued anyone that way. It's always been in the "right" environment whether online, at a social gathering, workplace/school, through friends, etc.

Walking up to a random chick at a store and asking for her number seems like it won't work 99% of the time, even if you are a super attractive guy with good intentions. Maybe I'm biased as a millennial, and also a New Englander, but it just seems socially abnormal, which is a turn off.

I'm not saying I automatically assume anyone who approaches me is a weirdo, but even as a 31 year old physically fit guy I've had way too many strange encounters with odd people approaching me or following me I can't imagine how a woman would feel getting approached by random guys.

Trust me, it works. There's an art to it, but it works.

[Cyn-BMW]

Originally Posted by Sara

Not necessarily. I get uncomfortable when someone starts talking to me when I'm out with my girlfriends. Earlier this summer, I was at bar with my girlfriend and these guys kept coming up to us. I thought in my mind that was extremely rude on their part. I'm over here trying to enjoy happy hour with my friend and you're just going to barge in and try to strike up a conversation? Rude.

Additionally, most guys don't take the hint that we aren't interested in you joining in on our happy hour. I had to text a guy friend who lived a block away to come rescue us, which he did. This happens allll the time. It's frustrating. So, for me, don't approach me in public unless I'm expecting you. I give off instant bitch vibes.

Then you need to be the one who makes the first move. I never make the first contact. That’s how I go about it. I never make the first move, only a smile. That’s what happened to me this weekend. A nice attractive lady started talking to me. We hung out and talked for about three hours, till Stonehaus closed. She ended up coming to my house and spending the night with me. And, if a guy is bothering you, kindly tell him that you’re not interested in talking.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I've never met anyone in public, or really pursued anyone that way. It's always been in the "right" environment whether online, at a social gathering, workplace/school, through friends, etc.

Walking up to a random chick at a store and asking for her number seems like it won't work 99% of the time, even if you are a super attractive guy with good intentions. Maybe I'm biased as a millennial, and also a New Englander, but it just seems socially abnormal, which is a turn off.

I'm not saying I automatically assume anyone who approaches me is a weirdo, but even as a 31 year old physically fit guy I've had way too many strange encounters with odd people approaching me or following me I can't imagine how a woman would feel getting approached by random guys.

You'd be amazed at what works. Having the confidence, but not being cocky, to approach a woman you don't know, to be genuine and sincere and start a conversation isn't for everyone. The other side to this is knowing who you can approach and who you can't. If you had told me at a younger age that women like to be smacked, choked and have their hair pulled, I would think you were crazy. As a man, think of what you'd never imagine to work....then try that. You'll be surprised. Just make sure it isn't too much and it isn't disrespectful, until you get her in bed.

The secret behind this is, you have to be a certain kind of man to pull this off. I've heard all women say it. A compliment from the right guy will make your day.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Cyn-BMW

Then you need to be the one who makes the first move. I never make the first contact. That's how I go about it. I never make the first move, only a smile. That's what happened to me this weekend. A nice attractive lady started talking to me. We hung out and talked for about three hours, till Stonehaus closed. She ended up coming to my house and spending the night with me. And, if a guy is bothering you, kindly tell him that you're not interested in talking.

This!!!


All she had to do was kindly say, "Hey guy! I appreciate you taking the time to come talk to me and my friends. That was really nice of you, but unfortunately I'm/we're not interested. I really hope you and your friends have a great rest of your evening."

[Cyn-BMW]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

This!!!


All she had to do was kindly say, "Hey guy! I appreciate you taking the time to come talk to me and my friends. That was really nice of you, but unfortunately I'm/we're not interested. I really hope you and your friends have a great rest of your evening."

This!!