[Revartr]

Originally Posted by Billup

I'm doing both. If I pretend to be professional, I feel superior. MY SUPERIORNESS IS BEYOND THEIR COMPREHENSION. THEY THINK IM SOBER, HA, HUMBUG. I PLAYED A FOOL ON YOU, SIR.

Bro, I'm way too drunk to comprehend. Drinking Bombay Sapphire now. :| WHERE IS @Lups AND EVERYBODY ELSE

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Revartr

Bro, I'm way too drunk to comprehend. Drinking Bombay Sapphire now. :| WHERE IS @Lups AND EVERYBODY ELSE

I'll get a beer. The day I've had I'll even try to stay up for a second one.

[Billup]

Shall we begin?

[Revartr]

Originally Posted by Billup

Shall we begin?

I wish. :| I don't get off of work until 6:30, and I need to go pick up my parents from the airport at 8:00 and probably won't get home and start drinking until 8:30, if that.

[Billup]

Yeah who knows where I'll be by then. Good luck broski.

[Billup]

Well I do have guaranteed ass lined up, but that's not until like 9ish.

[j_marinelli]

Got off work early..... Cracked open my first beer....

T-Minus 2 Hours before Drunkenness....

[Billup]

A noob. Welcome broski. Welcome to the land of paradise within majesty and greatness.

[Revartr]

Okay. I am drink.

[Lups]

Just opened a bottle of wine. After the week I've had, I'm trying to stay awake for two glasses!

[NEFARIOUS]

Originally Posted by Revartr

Okay. I am drink.

Hi drink, you sure don't look like one...

[954Stealth]

Started early today!

[Samurai of 2day]

This is my first time posting on this thread, but I have been trolling on bummer post for a lobg time now.

Tonight is the first time I have been drunk for a long time, even thought I during all weekend every weekend.

I have been visiting this thread once Ina while for a while and I decided to post for the first time because I am drunk for the first time without company to distract me.

The golck 30 ikeep under my bed is calling to me. I have suffers loss a few too many times, and I have thinking about this for as long as I can remember.

I think the only reason I haven't taken myself out yet is because maybe I'm too scared to do it, or strong Ugh not to. Not sure which one.

I won't do it toning, because I have to do Lau dry tomorrow, but more and more I'm realizing that there is no need for me to stay here. Truth be told, I NEVER belonged here tobegin with. Should ojust be a man and go through with it, pe continue to go through themotinons until the next deployment or caged decides that motorcyclists done deserve to be on the road or some knuckhead decides that whT I have in. Y pocket is worth a life sentence? Of course I'm not so fluid with my thought? But I'm drinking and no company to keep me occupied and I was looking pictures of cars on this forum that I would never be able to have so I'm torn betewwn my normal thoughts and thought of hope for what is the reason why e work so hRd when no one appreciates what we do... unless it sounds nice to say we support the troops or thank you for your service when at the same time the ones who are SUPPOSED to stick with you always turn their back on you.

Forgive the rant. I will Ben
Better tomorrow, wetber I pull the trigger ot not.

[NEFARIOUS]

Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day

This is my first time posting on this thread, but I have been trolling on bummer post for a lobg time now.

Tonight is the first time I have been drunk for a long time, even thought I during all weekend every weekend.

I have been visiting this thread once Ina while for a while and I decided to post for the first time because I am drunk for the first time without company to distract me.

The golck 30 ikeep under my bed is calling to me. I have suffers loss a few too many times, and I have thinking about this for as long as I can remember.

I think the only reason I haven't taken myself out yet is because maybe I'm too scared to do it, or strong Ugh not to. Not sure which one.

I won't do it toning, because I have to do Lau dry tomorrow, but more and more I'm realizing that there is no need for me to stay here. Truth be told, I NEVER belonged here tobegin with. Should ojust be a man and go through with it, pe continue to go through themotinons until the next deployment or caged decides that motorcyclists done deserve to be on the road or some knuckhead decides that whT I have in. Y pocket is worth a life sentence? Of course I'm not so fluid with my thought? But I'm drinking and no company to keep me occupied and I was looking pictures of cars on this forum that I would never be able to have so I'm torn betewwn my normal thoughts and thought of hope for what is the reason why e work so hRd when no one appreciates what we do... unless it sounds nice to say we support the troops or thank you for your service when at the same time the ones who are SUPPOSED to stick with you always turn their back on you.

Forgive the rant. I will Ben
Better tomorrow, wetber I pull the trigger ot not.

Dude, don't go that route... Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem. Just look at the bright side of things and count your blessings. My best friend is a 13F in the Army, and as soon as I get my ass in gear I'm thinking of joining the USAF... But don't let anybody tell you that your service is unappreciated, and the ones that don't appreciate it ignorantly think your absence things are going to be "OK"... They just don't realize that if it wasn't for you or even possibly the butterfly effect thereof, that some crazed Islamic extremist would continue to wreak havoc on US soil, or the area next to their house could be your next AO if it wasn't kept in check.

I lost my pops to suicide and believe me, as much as he thinks "nobody would give a shit if he died" it's fucking hard and the most selfish, coward thing a normally strong person can do. I still have nightmares about him even as short as a week ago, and it's been a year and 4 months since he aimed a sawed-off at his head, and while he was alive and had depression, it was so bad that I pointed my USP .45 at myself, but sold it when I realized what the hell I was about to do.

I look forward to seeing you alive, don't do this.

[Lups]

I will kill if no internet. Storm took it, and its okay, Audi would share its. ....if the idiot had renewed its plan, but it doesn't need it since "you've never used a nav in your life, why would I keep paying for it?"

This isn't a drunken rant yet. Gimme a few minutes and I'll add to it. Lol

[Revartr]

Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day

This is my first time posting on this thread, but I have been trolling on bummer post for a lobg time now.

Tonight is the first time I have been drunk for a long time, even thought I during all weekend every weekend.

I have been visiting this thread once Ina while for a while and I decided to post for the first time because I am drunk for the first time without company to distract me.

The golck 30 ikeep under my bed is calling to me. I have suffers loss a few too many times, and I have thinking about this for as long as I can remember.

I think the only reason I haven't taken myself out yet is because maybe I'm too scared to do it, or strong Ugh not to. Not sure which one.

I won't do it toning, because I have to do Lau dry tomorrow, but more and more I'm realizing that there is no need for me to stay here. Truth be told, I NEVER belonged here tobegin with. Should ojust be a man and go through with it, pe continue to go through themotinons until the next deployment or caged decides that motorcyclists done deserve to be on the road or some knuckhead decides that whT I have in. Y pocket is worth a life sentence? Of course I'm not so fluid with my thought? But I'm drinking and no company to keep me occupied and I was looking pictures of cars on this forum that I would never be able to have so I'm torn betewwn my normal thoughts and thought of hope for what is the reason why e work so hRd when no one appreciates what we do... unless it sounds nice to say we support the troops or thank you for your service when at the same time the ones who are SUPPOSED to stick with you always turn their back on you.

Forgive the rant. I will Ben
Better tomorrow, wetber I pull the trigger ot not.

Trust me, it's not worth it. Things may seem shitty (especially with depression), and it probably seems hard to find joy in anything. You may feel completely alone most of the time, but truth be told, you're not. I've thought about suicide a couple of times in the past. But when you break everything down, it just isn't worth it. Hell, you can always drop everything and just go live out in nature or travel by foot/car/whatever across the nation. Meet new people, enjoy the beauty in this world. Or find a new career path, find new things to do in your current career. Try new things. Make a list of all of the things that are awesome in life, things you can possibly do. Take up a new sport or hobby. There are literally so many good things and great experiences out there, but if you take your own life away, you'll never ever get the chance to do those things.

One of my former best friends comitted suicide earlier this year. And even though we had fallen out a couple of years back, it still hit me pretty damn hard and made me re-evaluate everything. He had so many opportunities, so many people who cared about him, whether he knew or believed it or not. Life is so precious. And I guarantee you that no matter what you're going through now, it is only temporary. And you've got plenty of good times and experiences coming your way, whether you know it or not.

[Samurai of 2day]

Originally Posted by NEFARIOUS

Dude, don't go that route... Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem. Just look at the bright side of things and count your blessings. My best friend is a 13F in the Army, and as soon as I get my ass in gear I'm thinking of joining the USAF... But don't let anybody tell you that your service is unappreciated, and the ones that don't appreciate it ignorantly think your absence things are going to be "OK"... They just don't realize that if it wasn't for you or even possibly the butterfly effect thereof, that some crazed Islamic extremist would continue to wreak havoc on US soil, or the area next to their house could be your next AO if it wasn't kept in check.

I lost my pops to suicide and believe me, as much as he thinks "nobody would give a shit if he died" it's fucking hard and the most selfish, coward thing a normally strong person can do. I still have nightmares about him even as short as a week ago, and it's been a year and 4 months since he aimed a sawed-off at his head, and while he was alive and had depression, it was so bad that I pointed my USP .45 at myself, but sold it when I realized what the hell I was about to do.

I look forward to seeing you alive, don't do this.

Thank you, NEFARIOUS. I really appreciate you talking me off the ledge and sharing your personal story. I am sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family are finding support from each other during the difficult times.You are absolutely right about the end result when it comes to suicide.

I agree with you when you say that it is ultimately selfish and cowardly to take ones own life. I understand that victory cannot be obtained by falling on your own sword. Like your dad, I have known other good men to take their own lives over the years. I always keep the thoughts to myself, but secretly I understood how someone could make the choice to end it.

I definitely know that things could always be worse, and I will have to find a way to pull myself out of the hole I seem to be stuck in. Thanks once again for taking the time to offer a helping hand. I spend so much of my time tending to others, but its good to know that there are people like you that would do the same for an anonymous stranger on the internet.

[Samurai of 2day]

Originally Posted by Revartr

Trust me, it's not worth it. Things may seem shitty (especially with depression), and it probably seems hard to find joy in anything. You may feel completely alone most of the time, but truth be told, you're not. I've thought about suicide a couple of times in the past. But when you break everything down, it just isn't worth it. Hell, you can always drop everything and just go live out in nature or travel by foot/car/whatever across the nation. Meet new people, enjoy the beauty in this world. Or find a new career path, find new things to do in your current career. Try new things. Make a list of all of the things that are awesome in life, things you can possibly do. Take up a new sport or hobby. There are literally so many good things and great experiences out there, but if you take your own life away, you'll never ever get the chance to do those things.

One of my former best friends comitted suicide earlier this year. And even though we had fallen out a couple of years back, it still hit me pretty damn hard and made me re-evaluate everything. He had so many opportunities, so many people who cared about him, whether he knew or believed it or not. Life is so precious. And I guarantee you that no matter what you're going through now, it is only temporary. And you've got plenty of good times and experiences coming your way, whether you know it or not.

Thank you, Revartr. You sharing your own thoughts and personal experience and struggle with life really goes a long way in helping others during their struggles.

I have thought about exactly what you mentioned like dropping everything and going to a secluded location in some random part of the world. Not sure what has been stopping me from doing that...

Even in the past when thinking of committing the act, I still took pleasure in the little things like music, driving/riding my training and my very small circle of friends. Not sure what happened, but now I don't get excited about the things I used to enjoy and subconsciously I seemed to have separated myself from everyone. Of course I still go to work but that's about it. It takes so much strength and energy just to walk out my door in the morning.

When I have a friend/company during a weekend when I'm not working, I only accept the company because they basically insist on coming over. Lovely ladies, but if they decided to stop seeing me, I really don't care one way or the other.

I will consider your advice and maybe look into something new that may trigger a motive to start enjoying myself. Thanks once again for taking the time to acknowledge my struggle. Mentally and physically I'm your typical loner/tough guy that never asks for help, but you definitely provided me with a helping hand in my time of need. Thank you.

[954Stealth]

Hey man, sorry I didn't get to reply in a more timely manner. Glad to see you're ok and here today. Just know that we are here for you. Before you do anything, please talk to us. You are always more than welcome to PM and we can try to work through what's going on.

Be strong, my friend. Fight and don't give up. And, please, recognize and accept the value that those around you see in you.

[NEFARIOUS]

Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day

Thank you, NEFARIOUS. I really appreciate you talking me off the ledge and sharing your personal story. I am sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family are finding support from each other during the difficult times.You are absolutely right about the end result when it comes to suicide.

I agree with you when you say that it is ultimately selfish and cowardly to take ones own life. I understand that victory cannot be obtained by falling on your own sword. Like your dad, I have known other good men to take their own lives over the years. I always keep the thoughts to myself, but secretly I understood how someone could make the choice to end it.

I definitely know that things could always be worse, and I will have to find a way to pull myself out of the hole I seem to be stuck in. Thanks once again for taking the time to offer a helping hand. I spend so much of my time tending to others, but its good to know that there are people like you that would do the same for an anonymous stranger on the internet.

Most definitely glad to help... If I feel that I can prevent one more person from ending their lives since I wasn't able to help my dad prevent that fate, I'm glad to lend a helping hand. Personally, if I told you even 2 incidents that I'm going through right now, you'd probably say "holy crap, at least I'm not that guy" ...

But all it takes is perseverance and having faith that things will get better, and all you gotta do is reach out for assistance; people aren't as careless as you think. Just when I thought shit hit the fan, there's even people I haven't talked to in 3 years that came around to help and even gave me money for survival since my job is behind on giving me my payroll and I've already taken out 2 payday advances just to make sure my car isn't repo'd and to have food on the table.

...But sometimes, things happen for a reason, and your silver lining may just be around the corner, and like the point I was trying to make earlier, there's always going to be someone that may have a worse situation, so count your blessings... I highly recommend watching The Secret, which has gotten me out of my worst binds before, and my tip to anybody is to think positively towards the wisdom and/or strength to get out of your situation, not sitting around and hoping something will fall into your lap, unless it's just the strength to persevere through a bad memory (but it'll still come back to that). Also remember; any event in life is always neutral. Sometimes it's not what happens, but it's your reaction and what's done about it, and what happened in the past doesn't always shape your present (wish I can tell the credit bureau that ).

Feel free to PM me at anytime. If my phone was working right now I'd even let you call/text, even if it's 3AM.

[ddk632]

Samurai of 2day

I can't pretend to know what you might have gone through, or are going through, but I think it's normal for many of us to feel depressed from time to time and possibly relate on some level to another's plight. And it's always transient, it passes, and when we look back at those tough times, we are triumphant in that we got past them and moved on to start new chapters in life and new adventures and new passions.

On a serious side note, if you're constantly or frequently feeling like you might do something that everyone who loves you will regret, my recommendation is to remove the item you mentioned is under your bed which can possibly be used to do this bidding (and any other similar items) and place them in a safety deposit box, and do not retrieve them until you've conquered such feelings.

If I may recommend an interesting and enlightening book about perseverance in the face of a peril which I would think puts most anyone to shame regarding their own tribulations, please check out the book "Man's Search for Meaning" by Victor Frankl, if you haven't already read it. If you have, read it again.

Always know no matter what you provide value to other people. You may not even know it but it is always true, big or small. Even on a forum in OT you provide value to others. I always enjoy reading your posts and hope to continue to have the privilege of doing so.

We all get dealt some bad cards in life from time to time. The test of character and what makes us who we are is how we respond, deal with, and learn from those experiences. Whatever it is, I can promise you that you will get through it, and as others have stated, your time will come. You will find joy and meaning. And you will look back and think, "how could I have even considered that?"

[Revartr]

Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day

Thank you, Revartr. You sharing your own thoughts and personal experience and struggle with life really goes a long way in helping others during their struggles.

I have thought about exactly what you mentioned like dropping everything and going to a secluded location in some random part of the world. Not sure what has been stopping me from doing that...

Even in the past when thinking of committing the act, I still took pleasure in the little things like music, driving/riding my training and my very small circle of friends. Not sure what happened, but now I don't get excited about the things I used to enjoy and subconsciously I seemed to have separated myself from everyone. Of course I still go to work but that's about it. It takes so much strength and energy just to walk out my door in the morning.

When I have a friend/company during a weekend when I'm not working, I only accept the company because they basically insist on coming over. Lovely ladies, but if they decided to stop seeing me, I really don't care one way or the other.

I will consider your advice and maybe look into something new that may trigger a motive to start enjoying myself. Thanks once again for taking the time to acknowledge my struggle. Mentally and physically I'm your typical loner/tough guy that never asks for help, but you definitely provided me with a helping hand in my time of need. Thank you.

I've been in a similar spot, though probably not the same. Hell, I've been a bit of a loner as of late. Aside from hitting up a bar with a couple of friends every now and then, I mostly just go home, get drunk, and watch tv. But I try to take pleasure in my tipsiness from liquor, tasty food, and humorous television. But sometimes that can only go so far or in some cases make it worse. Try spending more time in nature. Today, for instance, I went out on a long hike out in some deep woods, brought some cold beer (and plenty of water) with me, found a nice spot on the river, and just sat on the edge and relaxed. Take it all in, how beautiful the world we live in is, saw a few deer, cracked a couple of beers, etc. It truly is an awesome experience.

On a side note, one thing that I do believe can go a long, long way is an animal companion. It's always lovely to come home to a happy animal buddy (personally, I prefer dogs). One reason, I'll be happy to move out of this place.