Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

Tambohamilton · 12-20-2021, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Not missing it. Avoided it.

This

Turkish Pickle · 12-20-2021, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

Yeah, It would be one thing if it was a fling....but not my wife or long time girlfriend.

Same here - I can't imagine myself getting in that situation with someone I actually care about

Germanauto · 12-21-2021, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ///d

To each their own, but to me age is just a number after a certain point. My folks are 10 years apart, my gf is 4 years younger than I. I think sometimes it can make a difference, like if someone hasn't quite grown out of the party stages of their 20s, but IMO by your 30s a few years isn't a deal breaker.

Emotional and financial issues can be difficult to take on. I've been there on both sides of that fence. I'm honestly on that fence right now because my gf can't seem to figure her finances out. It's not enough for me to get out (yet), but it's enough that I'm not making any future financial plans with her as a contributor.

That's a fair point but at nearly 34 yrs old, there's a lot of pressure on her to have kids. I'm barely 29 and don't see myself at that stage of life so soon. And yeah if somebody is bad with money [even if they have a decent job] it's a red flag. Their money problems become your money problems. I already have six-figure grad school debt as it is.

///d · 12-21-2021, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

"No he fucking won't! Clear up your own mess!"

Yeah those would be my words for sure

Quote:

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

holy shit that's genuinely toxic

if my wife/gf is going to flirt with another man she's done. that's genuinely disrespectful, and on top of that you put your man in a position where he can be seriously hurt (who tf knows what a drunk guy is going to do/what he's packing)?

fuck that noise, i hope your friend can find someone stable to build his life with.

Yeah I would have never put up with it myself, but he is pretty level headed and luckily he was always able to smooth it out. They are older now with kids and don't go out much anymore. She is a very forward, loud, and feisty Hispanic gal and she loved her drama when they were younger. Honestly she probably could have take care of anyone herself.

Turkish Pickle · 12-27-2021, 10:39 PM

Just booked the weirdest date I'll probably ever go on for Thursday. Got second-hand rejected, and then ms. picky "came around"

Alfisti · 12-27-2021, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Germanauto

That's a fair point but at nearly 34 yrs old, there's a lot of pressure on her to have kids. I'm barely 29 and don't see myself at that stage of life so soon. .

Got news for you chief, you're already late. First kid by 30, latest, or it's a struggle. Older you get, the harder it is. Say you have your second at 35, at 40 you're chasing a 5 year old, good luck with that.

Get busy.

Esteban · 12-28-2021, 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Got news for you chief, you're already late. First kid by 30, latest, or it's a struggle. Older you get, the harder it is. Say you have your second at 35, at 40 you're chasing a 5 year old, good luck with that.

Get busy.

Yeah, I agree. They'll take the wind out of you. Have 'em while you're young. Had my first child at 27, second at 32. You got to be able to keep up with them. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Would've been a struggle if I was older.

Joekerr · 12-28-2021, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Got news for you chief, you're already late. First kid by 30, latest, or it's a struggle. Older you get, the harder it is. Say you have your second at 35, at 40 you're chasing a 5 year old, good luck with that.

Get busy.

Seconded. I'm 40, chasing a 4 year old. Plus a 7 year old. Am exhausted on the daily.

Alfisti · 12-28-2021, 02:14 PM

I am 45 with a 10 and 6 year old, I would say I am a solid 7 to 10 years older than i should be. Now I did not waste those years but still, i simply don't have the patience or energy for them that I should.

Tambohamilton · 12-28-2021, 02:41 PM

There's no way I'd have been able to do this a few years ago. Barely fit to be a parent now. 34, with 4 and 1.

Germanauto · 12-28-2021, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Got news for you chief, you're already late. First kid by 30, latest, or it's a struggle. Older you get, the harder it is. Say you have your second at 35, at 40 you're chasing a 5 year old, good luck with that.

Get busy.

Maybe being an Alfisti will help?

ryan stewart · 12-29-2021, 09:11 AM

Im needing to find out how serious this girl is about never having kids. Im 40 and dodged that shit my whole life, Im not about to fuck that up now. I like my money, I like my hobbies, I like my travel.

She says she agrees but then occasionally gets emotional and backtracks, "youd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" and other BS.

Tommy-G · 12-29-2021, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Im needing to find out how serious this girl is about never having kids. Im 40 and dodged that shit my whole life, Im not about to fuck that up now. I like my money, I like my hobbies, I like my travel.

She says she agrees but then occasionally gets emotional and backtracks, "youd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" and other BS.

48 and dodged it as well. My other 2 serious relationships, 7 & 4 yrs both girls went on to have 5 and 3 kids respectively.

My reasoning was the same as yours

cmyx6go · 12-29-2021, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Im needing to find out how serious this girl is about never having kids. Im 40 and dodged that shit my whole life, Im not about to fuck that up now. I like my money, I like my hobbies, I like my travel.

She says she agrees but then occasionally gets emotional and backtracks, "youd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" and other BS.

She wants kids. She thinks she'll change your mind.

EDIT: I'd watch that one and be careful. By saying "You'd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" she is making it about YOU and not her. Forgive me, but it sounds pretty manipulative.

Alfisti · 12-29-2021, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

She wants kids. She thinks she'll change your mind.

100%, clear as a bell, what are missing here chief?

Dang3r · 12-29-2021, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

She says she agrees but then occasionally gets emotional and backtracks, "youd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" and other BS.

Only one word if so: RUN!

To be serious, those kid-question would be the second one after "how about a longer duration e.g." and if her answer is "yes", Im out instantly, no compromises.

ryan stewart · 12-29-2021, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

She wants kids. She thinks she'll change your mind.

EDIT: I'd watch that one and be careful. By saying "You'd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" she is making it about YOU and not her. Forgive me, but it sounds pretty manipulative.

Yeah it's kind of becoming a very recent yellow flag at least.

She does like once a year go into that mode, it's really about her and she admits it but she kind of tries to talk me into it. But then like in the next sentence sure members traveling to Italy or hanging out on a Caribbean Beach And decide she'd rather do that too.

It's never actually become a fight, it's almost like a period thing.

UncleWede · 12-29-2021, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Onesie

Question - if your ex (who still has feelings for you) bought you a Christmas gift and you wore it, how would your current partner respond?

I'd probably have a new Ex

Tambohamilton · 12-30-2021, 02:33 AM

How do you wear a golf club?

Tommy-G · 12-30-2021, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

How do you wear a golf club?

Is that a 9 wood in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

ryan stewart · 12-30-2021, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Onesie

It's hidden when worn.

Oooops

Hopefully you at least took the grip off first.

Alfisti · 12-30-2021, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Yeah it's kind of becoming a very recent yellow flag at least.

She does like once a year go into that mode, it's really about her and she admits it but she kind of tries to talk me into it. But then like in the next sentence sure members traveling to Italy or hanging out on a Caribbean Beach And decide she'd rather do that too.

It's never actually become a fight, it's almost like a period thing.

The ticking noise she is hearing is only going to get louder. I hate to say it chief, you need to tackle this head on now and even then, i don't think she will be honest with herself

12-27-2021, 10:39 PM	#11907
Turkish Pickle Banned 3058 Rep 381 Posts Drives: '21 330i xDrive Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Chicago, IL iTrader: (0) Garage List 2021 BMW 330i xDrive [10.00]	Just booked the weirdest date I'll probably ever go on for Thursday. Got second-hand rejected, and then ms. picky "came around"
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12-28-2021, 02:14 PM	#11911
Alfisti Brigadier General 6955 Rep 3,280 Posts Drives: 2008 Saab 9-3 Combi Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Toronto, Canada iTrader: (0)	I am 45 with a 10 and 6 year old, I would say I am a solid 7 to 10 years older than i should be. Now I did not waste those years but still, i simply don't have the patience or energy for them that I should.
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12-28-2021, 02:41 PM	#11912
Tambohamilton Brigadier General 3174 Rep 4,049 Posts Drives: E91 330d Join Date: Apr 2019 Location: Herefordshire iTrader: (0)	There's no way I'd have been able to do this a few years ago. Barely fit to be a parent now. 34, with 4 and 1.
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12-29-2021, 09:11 AM	#11914
ryan stewart Major 2248 Rep 1,351 Posts Drives: 2008 328it Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Atlanta, GA iTrader: (0)	Im needing to find out how serious this girl is about never having kids. Im 40 and dodged that shit my whole life, Im not about to fuck that up now. I like my money, I like my hobbies, I like my travel. She says she agrees but then occasionally gets emotional and backtracks, "youd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" and other BS.
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12-30-2021, 02:33 AM	#11921
Tambohamilton Brigadier General 3174 Rep 4,049 Posts Drives: E91 330d Join Date: Apr 2019 Location: Herefordshire iTrader: (0)	How do you wear a golf club? Last edited by Tambohamilton; 12-30-2021 at 06:15 AM..
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