[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

WW FTMFW!!!!!

LOL yes, now you know why Im willing to let her try...

She needs to get her ass back on the side of that hot/crazy line. 95% of the time she would be on the line of the wife zone but then occasionally leaps over the line into the danger zone.

She averages way down into the sweet spot of the "date zone" but I'm looking for something more substantial and am 41 so no longer have the patience for the outbursts, she has to get that under control. In most other facets she is awesome. Makes her own money, can be independent, libido through the roof, moto friendly, willing to try new things, etc.

Otherwise its back to dating again. Problem is my hobbies and social circle (being a childless weirdo and risk taker) means I only tend to meet two types of women:

1. In their 20s and lots of fun but don't know what they want to be when they grow up, and that gets old. I'm not looking to parent.

2. Friends of friends wives, usually divorced and have yet to meet one who is over it yet. I'm over pulling my hair out trying to figure out why some girl is flipping out only to eventually realize I'm fighting the ghost of her ex.

[Alfisti]

Men cop a lot of hit these days but the amount of comments in this thread of women being unhinged, flipping out, moody, having outbursts...... i swear, it's a plague.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Otherwise its back to dating again. Problem is my hobbies and social circle (being a childless weirdo and risk taker) means I only tend to meet two types of women:

1. In their 20s and lots of fun but don't know what they want to be when they grow up, and that gets old. I'm not looking to parent.

2. Friends of friends wives, usually divorced and have yet to meet one who is over it yet. I'm over pulling my hair out trying to figure out why some girl is flipping out only to eventually realize I'm fighting the ghost of her ex.

Fellow 40s weirdo with no kids, man oh man are you not kidding. I live here too (I actually think we live in the same town) and the women here are batshit crazy. It's funny that you mention the demographics that you do; I'm 46 and have NO trouble attracting women in their 20s or divorcees in their early to mid 50s. The problem is both of the demographics are swarming with people who don't have their shit together. It's brutal out here.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Fellow 40s weirdo with no kids, man oh man are you not kidding. I live here too (I actually think we live in the same town) and the women here are batshit crazy. It's funny that you mention the demographics that you do; I'm 46 and have NO trouble attracting women in their 20s or divorcees in their early to mid 50s. The problem is both of the demographics are swarming with people who don't have their shit together. It's brutal out here.

I live in Smyrna but do most of my troublemaking in Atlanta proper because I used to live there but had to get out to be able to buy.

But likely most of my issue comes from my preferred social activities: Motorcycles, fitness, camping(primitive)/hiking, adventure racing, my dog, etc.

Obviously the location and the things like motorcycles is what is driving the younger crowd, you don't usually find older women into bikes that arent the leathery harley ones. Also hanging in Edgewood/4th/Inman/EAV probably isnt helping, the career girls dont tend to get off the beltline.

Ive also always been a baby face. Helps me blend in with the youts but might also be attracting the wrong type of 40 year old woman. I was cougar bait in college and still apparently haven't outgrown that. They all just seem to have a bad breakup and haven't done the work to unpack it.

If this chicks next attempt doesn't work out I'm going to take a step back and do my own thing. Coming into peak season for all of the things I like to do and I want to do more of it (save for travel, probably avoid Europe until Putin is dead). Already did my first track of the season and was up last night buying a couple grand worth of parts to replace my slipper clutch and QC sprocket kits to change gearing for tracks.

I still haven't been PROPERLY single for more than a month for, shit, 14 years. Its been so long since I've been a master of my own domain Im not even sure I would mind it for a bit.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

Men cop a lot of hit these days but the amount of comments in this thread of women being unhinged, flipping out, moody, having outbursts...... i swear, it's a plague.

I think its a different way of thinking and a "chicken or the egg" scenario.

The young ones are, well, young. I was an idiot in my 20s as well. I mean, yeah, I was career oriented and hustling but I still did a LOT of stupid stuff and somehow was still kind of floating through life (not really long term-planning, traveling constantly, etc. Couldn't get a dog until my 30s). Wasnt probably until 31-32 when I really started to make those pragmatic choices. Until then just SUPER lucky. I mean SUPER lucky. Probably a solid HALF of what I have today is purely a product of right place/right time. I cant really judge, they are good girls usually just not in the right place of their lives to really mesh with mine.

The older women the issue seems they got screwed over by a dude and just dont seem to be able to handle it. I dont know of a guy who hasnt been cheated on.

And while some were a bit more emo about it for a while eventually everyone (including myself) eventually just settled on, "Shes a cunt, fuck her" and moved on knowing her actions dont reflect on all women. Women seem to hold on to that shit, pain shop, and eventually convince themselves all guys are like that.

That and projection of insecurities seem to be the biggest things Ive faced in the past few relationships. Something like where a woman would be ashamed of her family and project that onto you and start fights as a way of getting out of going home for Christmas or something.

I remember one HUGE fight with an ex she accused my family of hating hers (narrator: it was she who was embarrassed by her family all along). Never mind my parents found out her grandmother was showing art in a local art show and literally hunted her down out of hundreds of booths to hang out with her and bought one of her pieces. And when she died they HOSTED her parents when they drove up for the funeral, literal first meeting was putting them up for the funeral.

That's also part of the problem with the current, she has siblings with issues with opiates and she is really embarrassed about them, but the funny thing is she projects it onto me and flips the hell out when I jokingly tell people I'm half white-trash (Im actually 3/4ths white trash).

F that! Shame is for the weak! Im a fucking trash-millionaire, suck it!

[///d]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

But likely most of my issue comes from my preferred social activities: Motorcycles, fitness, camping(primitive)/hiking, adventure racing, my dog, etc.

I know the feeling. Same interests and I couldn't find a gal with a good head on her shoulders that gave a shit about any of this, well... minus my dog. I got lucky that my girl now found interest in the camping/backpacking, but she never dreamed of doing those things before. She wants to learn to ride so I'm sticking her on the Grom this summer now that I have the Duc. Interest in fitness? Well... we are working on that one lol

[Turkish Pickle]

Where are all these divorced old women who never got over their ex and/or the 20 year olds who are "too young" to get their shit figured out

[shoei]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Where are all these divorced old women who never got over their ex and/or the 20 year olds who are "too young" to get their shit figured out

Whole Foods.

[Turkish Pickle]

will update

[shoei]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

will update

Lmfaoooo!!!

So depends on what kind of woman you're looking for. I know you'd rather settle down and whatnot so here's my advice. Head to the plant section. The botanical section. Look for women buying plants.

They're already taking care of useless things. One more isn't much of a stretch.

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Where are all these divorced old women who never got over their ex and/or the 20 year olds who are "too young" to get their shit figured out

There are all here and waiting for a pilot to date

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Where are all these divorced old women who never got over their ex and/or the 20 year olds who are "too young" to get their shit figured out

Downtown Alpharetta, Georgia.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Where are all these divorced old women who never got over their ex and/or the 20 year olds who are "too young" to get their shit figured out

The youngsters are at hipster bars, breweries, etc. All running in their little packs. Im basically living like a dude in his 20s but with more money and making somewhat better decisions, so I find myself in a lot of the same spots. I also have the uncanny ability to talk to a stump. I couldn't count how many times Ive ended up at the Clermont with people I just met.

I dont really know on the divorcees and whatnot, those Im always being introduced to.

Ive never really did the proper dating thing. Lately been hooked up (the age appropriate women) or something just organically happened in a friend group (the youngsters).

[Elijando]

The worst experience considering dating was linked with online dating. I frequently used different dating sites. Once, I set up a meeting with a girl and when I came, I saw a teenage. I was shocked. Since then I try to speak with a person through Facetime first.

[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by Elijando

The worst experience considering dating was linked with online dating. I frequently used different dating sites. Once, I set up a meeting with a girl and when I came, I saw a teenage. I was shocked. Since then I try to speak with a person through Facetime first.

Saving post for future reference, to see it before the retro-edit to add SEO dating web site links.....

[shoei]

Originally Posted by vreihen16

Saving post for future reference, to see it before the retro-edit to add SEO dating web site links.....

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Elijando

The worst experience considering dating was linked with online dating. I frequently used different dating sites. Once, I set up a meeting with a girl and when I came, I saw a teenage. I was shocked. Since then I try to speak with a person through Facetime first.

High five I like!!

[ryan stewart]

Odd, he didnt tell us if he pulled out or not...

[TiMSport]

>>>

[Germanauto]

I foolishy got back with my ex and had to break up with her again, hurting her twice in the process. I'm 29 and she's 34. I'm not ready for marriage/children and I my conscience wouldn't allow me to continue stringing her along emotionally and wasting her time. I'm in Medicine and doing my Residency, so haven't even had my first real job yet and figured out what I want out of life.

If I stayed with this lady, it puts a lot of pressure on me internally to tie things down really quickly. She's not pushing me into marriage/children, but when a lady is 34 these things have to be on an expedited path. Also, given the exploding cost of living especially here in Los Angeles, I'll admit that her $100k salary just didn't seem enough to me for the lifestyle I always expected for myself. Clearly, fear of true commitment was an issue here

Somebody enlighten me here, have I been a gigantic asshole? Is it wrong to consider money? Is my thought process totally f'ed up and i need to mature? She loved me dearly and I think I love her too. No woman has ever respected me like this or been as accommodating and kind to me. However the practical side of my mind just wouldn't leave me alone here. Love is one component to a relationship, but for a lifelong marriage I don't feel it's wise to ignore the practical side of things.

Somebody talk sense into me. My greatest fear is that she could be "the one who got away" and it would all be of my doing.

[m630]

I’ll just say if the main reason you broke up was due to what she makes, I’d take another long look in the mirror. If you have an expectation on what your lifestyle should be, it’s up to you to make it happen and not any potential partner. I would look at anything she brings to the table as a bonus, and most would likely think you’re insane to break up with a partner that ‘only’ made 100k and met all of your other needs/desires….You’re in medicine so I assume you’ll likely make a respectable income, why would you ever need to worry about what she makes? It’s all gravy if youre any type of competent Dr. I’m not saying to rush into a family situation when you have a ways to go, but if she’s not pushing and you have everything you’d want in a partner, how could money come into the equation at all?

[Germanauto]

Originally Posted by m630

I’ll just say if the main reason you broke up was due to what she makes, I’d take another long look in the mirror. If you have an expectation on what your lifestyle should be, it’s up to you to make it happen and not any potential partner. I would look at anything she brings to the table as a bonus, and most would likely think you’re insane to break up with a partner that ‘only’ made 100k and met all of your other needs/desires….You’re in medicine so I assume you’ll likely make a respectable income, why would you ever need to worry about what she makes? It’s all gravy if youre any type of competent Dr. I’m not saying to rush into a family situation when you have a ways to go, but if she’s not pushing and you have everything you’d want in a partner, how could money come into the equation at all?

I'd say the main factor is age, but what you're saying is certainly true.

I will say however, that the outrageous COL is something I [as a youngish millennial] am really feeling the squeeze of. The principal alone on my med school loan is $300k. And a household income of say $400-450k nowadays in LA does not go far when children come into the picture. A decent home just seems unattainable these days. Clearly, if I really loved her, this wouldn't matter. I'd be willing to just make it work here or move someplace cheaper with her if it mattered that much.

Clearly I have some maturing to do and reassessment of my priorities in life. While I'm figuring this out, I think it would have been unfair to string her along for the ride.