[LakeSurfer]

Skip to the end for my question.

So this morning I was pulled over by a trooper for doing 65 in a 45. there's no one on the road right now due to the virus so I was driving faster than I should but it was safe. I take pride in admitting when i'm wrong, especially when police are involved. I am respectful to them and never give them trouble even when i'm right. I don't necessarily auto trust them but I trust that anyone can have an off day and that off day can be a lot worse if there is a gun strapped to your hip. anyway, he does his routine and then starts telling me that I just don't care and I wont learn because that's how rich people in fancy cars are and that ill just pay the ticket and not worry because again "Rich People". For some stupid reason I felt that I had to defend myself. I'm a modest man on a modest salary and payed cash from my hard earned savings for the car. My wife is not a car person so she wasn't really on board with a sports car let alone a convertible one so the money for it had to come from my own personal side savings account.

Another time my turn lane came up faster than I realized due to me not paying attention so my only choice was to speed up and merge into the lane. I didn't cut anyone off and I even used my turn signals but i was a rather aggressive lane change. I look in my mirror and notice a lady behind me going off, at first I thought she was just reciting a 90's gangster rap song but then she pulled out her phone and started taking pictures of me. we pulled up to the next traffic light and I got the same rich people lecture. The first thing I said was "sorry for the aggressive move back there" as my attempt to calm her down but nope, she told me that I just buy all the solutions to my problems because that's what rich people do and I don't care about anyone else because I care more about my money and so much more. she went off for the duration of the stop light. I was shocked that someone could be this crazy in this day and age to yell at a random stranger.

a couple weeks before that at about 630 in the morning with very little traffic I was going about 10-15 over the limit on the highway. Yes I was breaking the law but this is a very normal speed for the highway I was on, in fact you get in more trouble if your going the actual speed limit. pull up to a stop light and a guy in a newer ford raptor gets next to me and says nice guy but to bad a rich asshole is driving it. I asked what happened? what did I do? did I cut you off or something? he wouldn't answer me but he rolled up his window and flipped me off.

I had a Harley pass me on the left and shake his head while flipping me off. I was on cruise control 5 over the limit in the far right lane for the previous 200 miles so I couldn't have done anything too stupid to piss him off.

another guy got mad and pulled up at a light to curse me out for going to fast and to many lane changes. he was again mad a t the "rich guy" and used it against me. This one was actually cool in the end. I asked if I cut him or anyone else off, he said no, was I using my turn signals? he said Yes. I said did anything I do actually affect you in any way, did you have to speed up or slow down or move over for me, did anything I do jeopardize anyone's safety? he said actually your right, i'm sorry and he rolled up his window and moved on.

In most of these cases I was definitely doing something wrong and I'm OK admitting that. I have driven this same way with every other car I've owned including the $500 beaters in high school and have NEVER been treated like this. In fact I don't think I've ever been confronted in any other car I've drive and I've been driving for almost 23 years.

I wanted a convertible hard top V8 with a 6 MT and rear seats and the BMW M3 was and i think still is the only car that fit my criteria so i'm not in it for the name or prestige or the lineage of the M brand. I respect it but I don't care about it. I'm thinking about removing every emblem and badge even shaving off the hood and the trunk badges in an attempt to be more discrete.

Hers my question although unrelated to the BMW, my wife is in a role with her company where she does lunches, offsite meetings, offsite interviews, board meetings and so on with the board members and the executive team. From time to time she will drive with the above passengers in her very nice but very pedestrian ford SUV. shes totally fine and actually loves the car. but lately shes beginning to feel a little uncomfortable when taking the CEO who's daily is a Bentley Bentayga out for lunch in her car. Most people i'm sure don't care but unfortunately a lot of others do. Shes with a company where image is important and unfortunately must be maintained in order to be taken more seriously. So I sent her a list of luxury SUV's and asked her to pick a few that she liked and I would do the research. I expected her to pick the Audi or Lexus buy she fell in love with both the Porsche Cayenne and Macon. these both can be had rather inexpensive for what they are and for a 2017-2018 model year if you do your research. Here's my question, my wife is a terrible driver (self admitted, slow and overly cautious) and does get negative attention from other drivers from time to time, Do you think she'll experience much worse in in a car with a Porsche emblem opposed to the Ford one much like I have with the BMW badges? Do you think the Porsche is a little "too much" or a little "overstated"?


I apologize for the long read as I needed to vent a little.

-Mark

[mapster37]

unfortunately bmw drivers have a bad rep as being douche bags. dont worry about what others think, life is too short, enjoy the ride.
as far as her vehicle choice, happy wife=happy life. do not extend yourself if you cannot afford it financially.
just my 2 cents.....

[Bpark1977]

There may be some "oh look, her husband bought her a car she has no business driving" sentiment, but I doubt she'll actually hear it. While it is a fairly sexist thought process, I will admit to thinking it from time to time. My SO is also an admittedly bad driver, but that's why she gets leased Camrys with all the driver safety aids😂

And the Bentayga is dog shit.

[Bpark1977]

And do you have a bumper sticker that says "poor people suck"?
Cause it sounds like you get a lot of "heat".

[Bemo]

OP - get the Porsche SUV and have fun. The Macans are great and drive very well. I've had them as loaners while servicing the 911.

Hope you got the cop's badge number and, at minimum, have a conversation with their captain about being stereotyped and harassed for supposedly being a "rich guy."

[DRLane]

When you get the rich bias, just remind people these are 8-12 yrs old and cheaper than a Subaru. Definitely cheaper than a full-size pickup.

Personally, I try not to give a flying F about anyone else and just enjoy my car. That said, I recognize when I'm driving like an a hole and accept the consequences.

[LakeSurfer]

Originally Posted by mapster37

unfortunately bmw drivers have a bad rep as being douche bags. dont worry about what others think, life is too short, enjoy the ride.
as far as her vehicle choice, happy wife=happy life. do not extend yourself if you cannot afford it financially.
just my 2 cents.....

I'm in a very fortunate situation where my wife is the bread winner of the family but when it comes to vehicles we (her idea) match our purchases based on our individual income and not our joint and also pay cash. at the risk of sounding snotty, She (not me) could easily afford a Cayenne Turbo S new but she knows that $150,000 is much much better to have invested and gaining interest opposed cashing it out to use it on a vehicle but leasing or a loan and buying new off the lot are all no goes for her. so basically she will never allow us to over extend ourselves. shes got the bread in her wallet and my stones in her handbag.

[akkando]

Never happens here in the Bay area to me really. People might try to cut me off though. Had someone assume I intended to take up two spaces in a parking lot when I was just waiting with my engine still in for his car to move out of my way so I could adjust to one space (he blocked me from moving)

Taking the badges off might help. Gives the car a cleaner look too. Maybe print your own bumper sticker that says "it's old, bought used, and cheap"

[LakeSurfer]

Originally Posted by Bpark1977

There may be some "oh look, her husband bought her a car she has no business driving" sentiment, but I doubt she'll actually hear it. While it is a fairly sexist thought process, I will admit to thinking it from time to time. My SO is also an admittedly bad driver, but that's why she gets leased Camrys with all the driver safety aids😂

And the Bentayga is dog shit.

Yeah, my wife makes 3 times what I do and people always treat me like i'm the head of household. I wish I could buy her a car. the Last car I was able to actually buy for her was a used Camry 4cyl.

I know nothing realistically about the Bentayga but looks wise and interior are spot on to me. Are they or any car worth that much to me? thats a different question.

[LakeSurfer]

Originally Posted by Bpark1977

And do you have a bumper sticker that says "poor people suck"?
Cause it sounds like you get a lot of "heat".

I might as well pick one up. Perhaps a group buy is in order?

[LakeSurfer]

Originally Posted by akkando

Never happens here in the Bay area to me really. People might try to cut me off though. Had someone assume I intended to take up two spaces in a parking lot when I was just waiting with my engine still in for his car to move out of my way so I could adjust to one space (he blocked me from moving)

Taking the badges off might help. Gives the car a cleaner look too. Maybe print your own bumper sticker that says "it's old, bought used, and cheap"

I like the your bumper sticker idea.

I'm in Tampa, FL and I see at least 1 super car per day on average so I would assume people are use to expensive cars and know what is and isn't expensive. Im sure these cars would get a ton of attention in a Midwestern state but in a bigger city? I assumed it would blend in.

[Bpark1977]

Originally Posted by LakeSurfer

I mighty as well pick one up. Perhaps a group buy is in order?

And in Florida, too? Isn't the car scene pretty big down there. I'd think an E93 wouldn't stand out so much to be noticed, again, without said sticker.

And count me in for the group buy! Except where I live they'll think I'm self deprecating.

[LakeSurfer]

Originally Posted by Bpark1977

And in Florida, too? Isn't the car scene pretty big down there. I'd think an E93 wouldn't stand out so much to be noticed, again, without said sticker.

And count me in for the group buy! Except where I live they'll think I'm self deprecating.

These cars are fantastic for sure but.... The car scene is amazing out here. The last cars and coffee I went to, they parked me next to a row of all the models of the ford GT's including a gt 40 and a few cars away from a Ferrari LaFerrari. and I was trying to park in the "regular" parking lot not the event lot.

[pbonsalb]

Due to the huge and unfortunate divergence between rich and poor in this country, there are a lot of working class people who are resentful of those who appear to have a lot more money. To many, your shiny bmw convertible puts you in that rich category. My dirty, 12 year old, 100,000+ mile sedan does not attract much attention.

As for the first police encounter described, it was totally inappropriate for the officer to say what he said and to make the judgments he made. Unfortunately a lot of cops have chips on their shoulders, or mental health issues due to stress. And some are just poorly educated or poorly trained or burnt out on the job. Not to say all cops are bad, but this sort of complaint or observation is pretty common.

[neilum]

There's a lot of unhappy people out there who aren't eating healthy, may be on medication (or not taking it), obese, have financial issues, family issues, stress etc.

I usually drive my car faster than the average car and have been yelled at, beeped at, and and given the finger over the years. I really don't care because I fully realize how lucky I am and understand what I typed above is true for a lot of people and they are just looking for a problem. Imagine getting that mad at another driver on the road for something so trivial?

[LakeSurfer]

Originally Posted by pbonsalb

Due to the huge and unfortunate divergence between rich and poor in this country, there are a lot of working class people who are resentful of those who appear to have a lot more money. To many, your shiny bmw convertible puts you in that rich category. My dirty, 12 year old, 100,000+ mile sedan does not attract much attention.

As for the first police encounter described, it was totally inappropriate for the officer to say what he said and to make the judgments he made. Unfortunately a lot of cops have chips on their shoulders, or mental health issues due to stress. And some are just poorly educated or poorly trained or burnt out on the job. Not to say all cops are bad, but this sort of complaint or observation is pretty common.

After I pled my case for being a working class average joe in middle management for a crappy company he let me off with a warning. Perhaps after my words he knew he was in the wrong and I would've fought him and the ticket (even though I was in the wrong) for some type of discrimination. He knew he crossed the line.

[WAKman]

I rarely drive fast in town, so I don't attract much attention. Plus, I'm fairly old (64), so I don't get as much attention as a younger guy in a nice car would. One of the few advantages to getting old is that you sort of become invisible. Men don't want to fight you and women don't want to bed you, so life is pretty stress-free, really.

But I digress. I've been pulled over once in the three years I've been driving the M3, but that was for having expired tags (dope slap). The cop also threw in a failure to signal on a lane change, which was bogus, so I went to court. This was in Bellevue, Washington, where BMWs are thick like rent Hyundais, so I wasn't worried about the rich-guy routine I might have gotten out in the boonies where I do my serious speeding. Got the ticket reduced to a fine only, no points. It's a money mill, folks--always contest a ticket. I haven't had points on my record in 40 years.

A couple Sundays ago I went out early in the morning and really gave it a rip through the gears on the freeway. Sounded awesome on that empty stretch of road going through an underpass. I mixed it up briefly with a guy in some sort of Honda Civic that was surprisingly fast, and we gave a mutual thumbs-up after blasting up to about 100 mph. Fortunately, we had slowed by the time we got around the bend where a cop had a customer at the side of the road. Disaster averted. A 40-over ticket would likely have snapped my winning streak in court. I'd have had to plead temporary insanity.

[roastbeef]

I don't have these problems daily driving a smart car in Southern California. Lol

[BayE30]

i drive too fast to be able to catch peoples shitty reactions, and i prefer it this way.

[Scrippy]

It's nice that you think of others but if you didn't ask for an opinion then there shouldn't be one coming at you or your wife. I was always a truck guy for my earlier years and when I moved to BMW's I experienced other drivers in a completely different way. Peoples jealousy makes them react poorly on the roads. I could practically move into another cars lane and run a driver over to the shoulder in my last truck and not a peep from another driver. In my M3 folks get pissed over the most trivial things and make gestures or yell. I think you should spoil your wife with whatever you two see fit and not worry about the other losers on the road. It's a shame that you even need to consider not getting your wife a car because your worried how morons will treat her on the road. Pretty embarrassing for humanity actually. I remember when I was 16 driving my 1984 Toyota SR5 and an E36 M3 cur me off big time.....I didn't think the driver was an entitled duche......I thought "that car is dope!".

[fs34]

As far as the question, get your wife the vehicle she wants, best said earlier happy wife = happy life.

Driving and people’s reactions...IMO the golden rule applies here. Don’t drive like a dick. If you are cutting people off or excessively speeding, expect people to get pissed. The bmw hate is funny but I don’t get it much. Most people give me compliments on the car. I also do my best not to drive like a jerk, it’s safer and I also drive a bright orange m3, never know who I’ve pissed off but they will remember my car for sure. I get my rocks off on the backroads or go 10/10 at autox. That keeps my daily driving in check.

[LakeSurfer]

Originally Posted by fs34

As far as the question, get your wife the vehicle she wants, best said earlier happy wife = happy life.

Driving and people's reactions...IMO the golden rule applies here. Don't drive like a dick. If you are cutting people off or excessively speeding, expect people to get pissed. The bmw hate is funny but I don't get it much. Most people give me compliments on the car. I also do my best not to drive like a jerk, it's safer and I also drive a bright orange m3, never know who I've pissed off but they will remember my car for sure. I get my rocks off on the backroads or go 10/10 at autox. That keeps my daily driving in check.

I seem to always attract this type of attention. I'm 6'3" and have been cursed with an angry all the time face. I stand out in most situations and people seem to think I have some kind of problem with them. Bars have always been the worst for me. I just wanted to go out and drink with my friends and then I'd accidentally bump into someone who always of course had something to prove. I'd always apologize and try to calm the situation down. I have tons of crazy stories that happened to me for no reason. People are crazy sometimes.

2 weeks ago a guy jumped out in front of me in a parking lot so I slammed on the brakes and he yelled for his friends to jump in front of me as well because I had money and they could sue. I just waved and drove off.