[Jamesomania]

ok. so ive been seeing this girl for about a month or more... we hung out pretty much 3-4 times per week, went and did a whole bunch of activities together, fun and adventurous... i knew she had a long travel coming up (about a month) so knowing myself i asked her where things are going with us and if we should be exclusive or not, then she says why did i ask her before she was going away and she says what if i wanna make out with someone and i say obviously i wouldn't like that...and she says if i can wait till she comes back, , another week goes by and we again hang out like crazy and pretty much spent the entire week together before she went away.. even drove her to the airport..

before she leaves she says a lot of stuff changed for me in the last week, emotionally.. and same for me..

so she goes, and we've been texting everyday pretty much and she sends me pictures on a daily basis of her trip and stuff...

the thing that bugs me is that she mentioned during the beginning of the relationship that her and her best friend used to sleep together, (both girls) lol now youre thinking oh thats awesome... but its not,, now i gotta worry about men and women! ha.. anyways so now im not sure if her best friend is the one that she went travelling with or if its a different one...

and if i should reserve myself... not sure if shes reserving herself.. she pretty much tells me everything but who knows if she would tell me everything...
any thoughts? am i being a baby... or what

[fecurtis]

You're being a baby.

[Jamesomania]

Originally Posted by fecurtis

You're being a baby.

damn, i was afraid of that lol

[grieverr]

With only one month into your relationship, I'd say you should ease up a bit on your status, and how much thought you're putting into what she's doing away from you.

What does "before she leaves she says a lot of stuff changed for me in the last week, emotionally.. and same for me.. " mean? Does that mean she wanted to see less or more of you?

Again, it's only been a month or so. She's not your girlfriend, no exclusivity has been set. Don't drive yourself crazy, even though you obviously like her a lot. Get to know her better and see for yourself what this friendship with her girlfriend is like. Personally, I would casually ask her if she's hooking up with people on her trip in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental way. You just want to know.

You will likely see a change in her when she gets back, for the better or worse. How you guys proceed from there will shape whatever future there may be. But I'll say it a third time - it's only been a month or so, relax a bit.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by Jamesomania

ok. so ive been seeing this girl for about a month or more ,i asked her where things are going with us and if we should be exclusive or not, then she says why did i ask her before she was going away and she says what if i wanna make out with someone and i say obviously i wouldn't like that

[Billup]

OT has officially turned into a relationship help section.

You've only been dating for a month. Shit, I barely know anyone after hanging out with them for 5 months. Why do you want to be exclusive so quickly? Enjoy the fact that you found someone who seems down to earth. She sounds like a free spirit, and you sound...., needy.

Stop thinking about shit so much and just enjoy the time you spend together. It's not that hard. If things progress into something more down the road, then cool. I don't think you should have dropped the "exclusive" thing right before she left, but that's just my opinion.

[Jamesomania]

Originally Posted by grieverr

With only one month into your relationship, I'd say you should ease up a bit on your status, and how much thought you're putting into what she's doing away from you.

What does "before she leaves she says a lot of stuff changed for me in the last week, emotionally.. and same for me.. " mean? Does that mean she wanted to see less or more of you?

Again, it's only been a month or so. She's not your girlfriend, no exclusivity has been set. Don't drive yourself crazy, even though you obviously like her a lot. Get to know her better and see for yourself what this friendship with her girlfriend is like. Personally, I would casually ask her if she's hooking up with people on her trip in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental way. You just want to know.

You will likely see a change in her when she gets back, for the better or worse. How you guys proceed from there will shape whatever future there may be. But I'll say it a third time - it's only been a month or so, relax a bit.

she meant in a positive way, she also said if she knew me before she made the arrangement for her trip she probably would have only gone for two weeks max.

part of me is scared to ask her if shes hooking up with anyone... i partly dont want to know the truth... (if she is) and part of me says she would tell me if she did something... but then again yeah she is not my girlfriend so why should she??

[P1]

Aah, to be 15 again...

[Jamesomania]

Originally Posted by Billup

OT has officially turned into a relationship help section.

You've only been dating for a month. Shit, I barely know anyone after hanging out with them for 5 months. Why do you want to be exclusive so quickly? Enjoy the fact that you found someone who seems down to earth. She sounds like a free spirit, and you sound...., needy.

Stop thinking about shit so much and just enjoy the time you spend together. It's not that hard. If things progress into something more down the road, then cool. I don't think you should have dropped the "exclusive" thing right before she left, but that's just my opinion.

yeah i know what i am lol.. work in progress.. well that was a bit before her trip. i didnt say exclusive exactly, just made it sound like i wanted to just see her and im enjoying my time with her...

but yeah i should enjoy this, and not be so... me.

[upstatedoc]

This could turn into an OT classic.

[Whostheboss]

Originally Posted by Jamesomania

she meant in a positive way, she also said if she knew me before she made the arrangement for her trip she probably would have only gone for two weeks max.

part of me is scared to ask her if shes hooking up with anyone... i partly dont want to know the truth... (if she is) and part of me says she would tell me if she did something... but then again yeah she is not my girlfriend so why should she??

You need to be a boss!

Just ask her straight up if she's fcuking someone else. (which she is).
Who goes away for a month with no sex? Even worse, who the hell believes someone when they say the're going away for a month with no sex?

Judging from what i've read, i can tell she's the one controlling your emotions. If she wasn't, you wouldn't had made a post on this website.

She said "what if i wanna make out with someone"... lol
Seriously, is this a troll or are you being for real?

You're her side man. She's seeing other people but she's being nice to you because you have emotional attachments towards her so she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

[Billup]

Originally Posted by Jamesomania

yeah i know what i am lol.. work in progress.. well that was a bit before her trip. i didnt say exclusive exactly, just made it sound like i wanted to just see her and im enjoying my time with her...

but yeah i should enjoy this, and not be so... me.

In the world of dating as adults, unless you are exclusive, there are many people who still have other interactions, because you are doing just that..., dating. She could screw other people, you can screw other people..., it's technically neither of your business right now, so why would it matter?


Just enjoy what you have and don't put pressure on the girl. It's only been one month, if she likes you enough, her decision is already made. When you start getting needy, women tend to back off, so you may just hurt yourself and push her away.

[bimmette]

Female point of view: If one or both of you hook up with other people within the month, well then you weren't really that into each other. Simple.

[Jamesomania]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Female point of view: If one or both of you hook up with other people within the month, well then you weren't really that into each other. Simple.

i'm not even remotely interested in that... and i got the same feeling from her when she left, she even mentioned shes not gonna think about sexual stuff... or something like that... just when she left...

as somebody else mentioned,, is it a good idea to ask her casually if shes hooking up with anyone?

maybe i gotta stop talking about it so its not always on my mind... shes having fun and i gotta do the same, and enjoy myself.. not sexually,, just in general..

[Jamesomania]

Originally Posted by Billup

In the world of dating as adults, unless you are exclusive, there are many people who still have other interactions, because you are doing just that..., dating. She could screw other people, you can screw other people..., it's technically neither of your business right now, so why would it matter?


Just enjoy what you have and don't put pressure on the girl. It's only been one month, if she likes you enough, her decision is already made. When you start getting needy, women tend to back off, so you may just hurt yourself and push her away.

yeah true, but if i she tells me she did screw someone, i just cant keep seeing her, so its a deal breaker.

thats why i dont even want to ask... i havent been needy or anything to her, she has no clue that im thinking like this lol.

[Revartr]

Secretly find out where she's staying and send her flowers, a giant bear, and a bunch of chocolate. Then when she gets back, surprise her at the airport with a promise ring. She may seem offput at first, but trust me, she'll come around. Just make sure to always follow her home to make sure she's safe (girls love that kind of thing), and leave love notes on her front porch or in front of her front door every now and then to show that you care. If she starts to become distant, that's just her way of trying to see if you actually even care. So make sure that you tell her not to ever leave you and that if she does, you'll hurt yourself. That will definitely show her how much you care about her, and she'll fall in love with you even more.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Jamesomania

i havent been needy or anything to her, she has no clue that im thinking like this lol.

On the contrary, you KNOWS for sure now because you brought it up

[squishy]

Fuck bitches, get money

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by Jamesomania

i'm not even remotely interested in that... and i got the same feeling from her when she left, she even mentioned shes not gonna think about sexual stuff... or something like that... just when she left...

as somebody else mentioned,, is it a good idea to ask her casually if shes hooking up with anyone?

maybe i gotta stop talking about it so its not always on my mind... shes having fun and i gotta do the same, and enjoy myself.. not sexually,, just in general..

Don't ask her. Let her do her thing. Ask her when she returns and you'll know where you stand then.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Revartr

Secretly find out where she's staying and send her flowers, a giant bear, and a bunch of chocolate. Then when she gets back, surprise her at the airport with a promise ring. She may seem offput at first, but trust me, she'll come around. Just make sure to always follow her home to make sure she's safe (girls love that kind of thing), and leave love notes on her front porch or in front of her front door every now and then to show that you care. If she starts to become distant, that's just her way of trying to see if you actually even care. So make sure that you tell her not to ever leave you and that if she does, you'll hurt yourself. That will definitely show her how much you care about her, and she'll fall in love with you even more.

THIS! Best advice so far.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

THIS! Best advice so far.

I don't think I would have the flowers DELIVERED. Once you find out where she's staying, you have plenty time to get there yourself and hand-deliver them

[hongsc]

Originally Posted by squishy

Fuck bitches, get money

The right way. Get money, fuck bitches.