[Year's_End]

When you really like a girl that's already in a relationship.

You see, there's a girl I know that I have classes with and go to lunch with everyday during school. I guess that as time's gone by I've pretty much grown fond of her. She's funny, cute, not stupid (thank god) and a nice person to talk to. Unfortunately she's already in a relationship with another guy.

Now I'm not the kind of guy that wants to ruin what somebody else has. I respect this guy's relationship with her. What's frustrating is that we live in Florida and he lives in Kentucky. She doesn't seem to be bothered by that thanks to Facebook, the phone, occasional flights blah blah blah, all that stuff.

I'm just figuring (and quietly hoping) that things end up breaking apart, as long distance relationships during HS frequently do. It's just a bitch, that's all, to know that I really really like this girl, yet there's this feeling of unatainability. I want to express how I really feel, which I haven't in any way whatsoever at the moment, but I want to respect her current situation.

What should I do? How could I possibly hint to her that I like her, but without destroying our friendship and turning it into something awkward. That's what I'm afraid of. The whole thing could backfire if she doesn't end up liking what she hears.

Damnit. This is annoying.

[Edit]: Sometimes things get awkward as is. Sometimes she'll be friendly, or she'll give me this look that makes it almost impossible for me to talk straight. And yet, at other times she seems to be reclusive when it's just us when everyone leaves the room, like she doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe I'm overreacting. It's possible. Maybe I'm just being overly-cautious. I dunno. I just need some pointers.

[NaTuReB0Y]

give her an ultimatum.......

head.....she sleeps with you.....

tail.......you walk away forever......

[Year's_End]

No seriously man. I mean jokes are funny and all but I really could use some pointers.

It's like I don't care if there's a girl that's funnier, or a girl that's smarter or prettier. None of that matters.

The school year is about two-thirds of the way over. I don't want this to end up being a "what if" memory. I could never forgive myself for that. Once the year's over, it's college. No more chances.

[Year's_End]

She even made me try sushi. And hell, I liked it. I practically swore an oath not to try that stuff. I don't even like fish for the mostpart.

[Ru$$ell]

lol,welcome to the club bro

[ChineseGuy]

so, you like her, and you want her to know that

but the hard thing is you don't want to ruin her relationship with the other guy

so basically you want her to know that you like her and slowly break up with the other guy "naturally", so you dont' feel any guilt, and quicly gets together with you

the chance of those things happening is very slim, but it's still possible...

my suggestion is that you just wait till they break up or something...because you dont' want to feel guilty about ruining their relationship, which is the quickest way to get her to think about you....

so you have 2 choices....

1. wait and be a good friend

or

2. secretly ruin their relationship by backstabbing the other guy or whatever you like....

[Year's_End]

ChineseGuy, that's exactly what I want to happen. I want this thing to slowly dwindle down naturally. I'm just not sure if it'll happen. Like you said, chances are slim to none. There has to be something that I can do, it's just that I haven't thought of it yet.

[TheAcAvenger]

Originally Posted by NaTuReB0Y

give her an ultimatum.......

head.....she sleeps with you.....

tail.......you walk away forever......

Or give her another ultimatum...

heads... she gives you head

tails..... she gives you tail


But on a serious note, I think we've all been through that. I wonder if we're preprogrammed to go after females that are taken. Or maybe they're just taken for a reason. Patience can be hard. More often than not, those who are overly patient end up seeing the person they sought turn around and play the "just friends" card with them later. I've been on both sides of that one.

The old boyfriend from high school obstacle is a classic though. Eventually it will click in her head that you're the more readily available, more fun pereson because she's going to end up spending more time with you. The only thing thats really keeping her with her high school male is an emotional bond that will severed when she realizes that college is just different. You date who you have the most fun with. So just keep doing what you're doing. Don't do any cheesy ish, because thats what the guy she already has gives her. Just be around and be more fun than him, and hopefully you'll get what you want.

But... thats all the Dr. Phil I have in me. I'm going to have to do something manly now like take a massive shit to purge such a post from my memory. Just give her the ultimatum I listed above!

[LaLakers91tc]

welcome to the club, i was like that last year with this girl who was like perfect, but honestly i didn't know what to do with the whole thing so i kinda just played the good friend for a while, and i mean i got to know her pretty well, but in the end it never worked out, she was with the guy for too long, and im not one to backstab anyone, so i just eventually moved on...
but hey good luck to you, but a word of advice, no need to outright tell her that you like her while she is still with him bc that always makes things really awkward for me at least

[ChineseGuy]

Originally Posted by Bimmer Loyalist

ChineseGuy, that's exactly what I want to happen. I want this thing to slowly dwindle down naturally. I'm just not sure if it'll happen. Like you said, chances are slim to none. There has to be something that I can do, it's just that I haven't thought of it yet.

i already told you what you can do

1. wait and be a good friend...

but then it'll just take longer, but you won't feel much guilt

2. use dirty tricks to screw up their relationship...

this way you'll feel very guilty, but it's quick and easy....

and when they breakup, she'll probably run to you for help...


but trust me...telling her that you like her right now is not an option...she dont' need you right now, because she's in love with another guy...

[Year's_End]

Originally Posted by LaLakers91tc

welcome to the club, i was like that last year with this girl who was like perfect, but honestly i didn't know what to do with the whole thing so i kinda just played the good friend for a while, and i mean i got to know her pretty well, but in the end it never worked out, she was with the guy for too long, and im not one to backstab anyone, so i just eventually moved on...
but hey good luck to you, but a word of advice, no need to outright tell her that you like her while she is still with him bc that always makes things really awkward for me at least

Wow, that sucks man. Yeah I'ma try to avoid that result. Thx for story tho.

[Ru$$ell]

^dont rush anything,if it's meant to happen it will,cause if you do,and if things dont work out,chances are you might not talk to her again cause of that,and the guy is gonna be pissed at you obviously if you try to break them up etc.

[Year's_End]

Originally Posted by ChineseGuy

i already told you what you can do

1. wait and be a good friend...

but then it'll just take longer, but you won't feel much guilt

2. use dirty tricks to screw up their relationship...

this way you'll feel very guilty, but it's quick and easy....

and when they breakup, she'll probably run to you for help...


but trust me...telling her that you like her right now is not an option...she dont' need you right now, because she's in love with another guy...

I guess option 1's my best bet, and I guess my only real one. I couldn't bring myself to sabotage something, cuz I'd never want the same to happen to me. Just isn't right ya know.

You're right. I can't tell her how I feel I guess, but it's driving me insaaaaaaaane. My fingers are like tensing up from stress right now just thinking about it. I remember seeing her check her facebook one day cuz we were screwing around on it. She made my profile which I don't really use, but anyways, I saw the pic with her and her boyfriend and the slightest little "fuck" slipped outta my mouth. Not loud enough so that she could hear it, but enough that made me kinda startled cuz it was completely unintentional. lol the things girls do to ya. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

[stooken]

there's not much you can do. if you guys hang out that much then soon enough, she'll confide in you about the relationship. so either she'll start falling for you or just see you as a brother. hard to tell which way she'll swing it.

im too lazy to read everything but how is her relationship with her boyfriend?

long distance is not easy. if either of them have an insecurities then it's bound to end soon.

[Year's_End]

Originally Posted by stooken

there's not much you can do. if you guys hang out that much then soon enough, she'll confide in you about the relationship. so either she'll start falling for you or just see you as a brother. hard to tell which way she'll swing it.

im too lazy to read everything but how is her relationship with her boyfriend?

long distance is not easy. if either of them have an insecurities then it's bound to end soon.

From what I hear her say, nothing's gone wrong between em so far...

I'll just veeeeeeeeeeerrrrry slowly show how I really feel over the next month and a half. I only have three months or so till the years over. This is the first time that I actually wish that school wasn't gonna end so soon. Shit, am I going crazy or what. I need a reality slap to the face or sumthin

[Year's_End]

You know what the real end-all-be-all things is gonna be is the senior prom. If things hold up between them up till then then I don't have a chance in this fkn world of getting with her....buuuut if things do happen to take a change for the worse (or better in my case)....then I can make my move.

[just4kickz]

i have a friend who always likes girls already in relationships. its kinda funny... its like a general trend of him being owned when i tell him... "bro she got a bf..." and with a surprised face, he says "god damnn it"

majority of girl friends i have are okay... but once i get to know them... whether or not they're in a relationship, i always find something i dont like in them... haha

[stooken]

Originally Posted by Bimmer Loyalist

From what I hear her say, nothing's gone wrong between em so far...

I'll just veeeeeeeeeeerrrrry slowly show how I really feel over the next month and a half. I only have three months or so till the years over. This is the first time that I actually wish that school wasn't gonna end so soon. Shit, am I going crazy or what. I need a reality slap to the face or sumthin

best advice i can give you. just be a good friend.

put yourself in that guys shoes. if you had a long distance relationship with another guy trying to steal your woman, you'd be pretty pissed off. karma's a bitch.

if their relationship was sour then i could understand you making a move but if nothing's wrong, just let it ride. if anything, you still gained a good friend. don't limit your options. there are other girls out there. who knows, this girl might even like you and get jealous once you see shes you with other girls too. do what you gotta do but just dont intentionally try to sabotage her relationship for your own benefit.

[ejazbmw]

I'm in the same boat as you man, it sucks because to me her bf is totally wrong for her but thats probably because i don't want to get to know him...anyway I'm happy being friends with her at least, but I understand you when theres moments when things get odd like theres a long pause or she looks at you in a certain way and you don't want to look at her....just hang in there until she realizes shes making a big mistake theres not much you can do really until she figures it out on her own

[aapriadi]

sounds to me that you're stuck in teh friend zone.....

[Ru$$ell]

^i r hope he isnt

[MpoweredM]

You're in high school, who cares. :rofl: There are thousands of girls you haven't even met yet going into college!