E90Post
 


The Tire Rack
 
BMW 3-Series (E90 E92) Forum > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board > The Husband/Dad Rant Thread!



Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      09-11-2020, 04:33 PM   #1
jpy1980
Lieutenant Colonel
jpy1980's Avatar
United_States
1596
Rep
1,971
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW M3 -Smurfy Blue Vinyl
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Los Angeles

iTrader: (3)

The Husband/Dad Rant Thread!

I never seen this type of thread before so I'll start.

I just had my second kid during this pandemic and man oh man is it tiring!

I also have a 3 year old who discovered the lovely task of waking up in the middle of the night to drag me out of bed onto their bed. I haven't had a good nights rest since June!

PLUS WE ARE STUCK AT HOME ALL DAY EVERY DAY DUE TO THIS PANDEMIC!

Also, I want a truck but my wife says no! BAH! I can't have my F80 and a truck because "that's wasteful"

Please guys, commiserate with me so I can feel better! =P

CHEERS!
Appreciate 1
Lups11830.00
      09-11-2020, 04:43 PM   #2
TboneS54
YNWA
TboneS54's Avatar
United_States
1199
Rep
908
Posts

Drives: '04 M3 6MT, '11 M3 DCT, '22 X7
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (2)

Father of a 22 m/o checking in kill me now
Wrenching and detailing cars my life support
__________________
/// 2004 Silvergrey M3 · Coupe · 6MT · Slicktop · zero options
/// 2011 Jerez/Bamboo E90 M3 · DCT · Slicktop · IG: @na.s54
Appreciate 2
jpy19801595.50
      09-11-2020, 04:43 PM   #3
2000cs
Captain
3905
Rep
1,003
Posts

Drives: Potato
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: USA

iTrader: (1)

I miss my kids; whatever you have to go through to be with yours, do that.
Appreciate 18
upstatedoc7534.50
jpy19801595.50
King Rudi13072.00
zx10guy5519.00
hubbahubba11643.00
Nachbar8165.00
mc-m3243.50
sygazelle13417.50
chassis8081.50
jmg19303.00
ntg442903.50
wdb5085.00
Lups11830.00
QM287.00
      09-11-2020, 04:51 PM   #4
jpy1980
Lieutenant Colonel
jpy1980's Avatar
United_States
1596
Rep
1,971
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW M3 -Smurfy Blue Vinyl
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Los Angeles

iTrader: (3)

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2000cs View Post
I miss my kids; whatever you have to go through to be with yours, do that.
Ah, yes of course, I understand that...but....

*huggin my kids now*

*I'm not crying, YOU ARE*
Appreciate 3
2000cs3905.00
Lups11830.00
      09-11-2020, 04:52 PM   #5
jpy1980
Lieutenant Colonel
jpy1980's Avatar
United_States
1596
Rep
1,971
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW M3 -Smurfy Blue Vinyl
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Los Angeles

iTrader: (3)

Quote:
Originally Posted by TboneS54 View Post
Father of a 22 m/o checking in kill me now
Wrenching and detailing cars my life support
Haha, your wife lets you out?! Lucky you!

Wait till #2.
Appreciate 0
      09-11-2020, 05:05 PM   #6
F30lolz
I can haz cheezburger?
F30lolz's Avatar
6810
Rep
3,678
Posts

Drives: 14 Jeep/18 1500/08 e90/15 f36
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Miami, FL/Shelbyville, IN

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Get a mistress, the stress will even out.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by RaptorKTM View Post
Also our E90 330 and 325 will soon have some sort of boost. So there is actually more of a chance to get more hp out of a 330 then a 335 in my opinion
Appreciate 3
Lups11830.00
      09-11-2020, 05:20 PM   #7
TboneS54
YNWA
TboneS54's Avatar
United_States
1199
Rep
908
Posts

Drives: '04 M3 6MT, '11 M3 DCT, '22 X7
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (2)

Quote:
Originally Posted by jpy1980 View Post
Haha, your wife lets you out?! Lucky you!

Wait till #2.
No gracias
__________________
/// 2004 Silvergrey M3 · Coupe · 6MT · Slicktop · zero options
/// 2011 Jerez/Bamboo E90 M3 · DCT · Slicktop · IG: @na.s54
Appreciate 0
      09-11-2020, 05:31 PM   #8
King Rudi
Lieutenant Colonel
King Rudi's Avatar
13072
Rep
1,965
Posts

Drives: Meat Suit
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Planet Earth

iTrader: (0)

Being a parent is tiring all the way around sir. Mine are 20 and 21. I wished that someone had told me before kids that (most) marriages don't last and that kids give not a single shit about the hell you go through, as a parent, to feed, clothe, educate and instill good morals. I love my boys more than life itself, but amazes me at how they care not for the sacrifices made for them...no matter how great or how insignificant.

In reality, wrap your arms around those little shits and enjoy every second you can with them. The next 15-18 years is going to fly by. Then you'll still be tired......and wish they were the size they are now. Each age comes with it's own challenges. Something else no one ever told me, being a parent is more of the kids teaching you to be a parent that you teaching your kids a damn thing. Enjoy the ride, it will be bumpy....but also very rewarding.
Appreciate 17
HFW0036225.00
TboneS541198.50
lakefront644.50
KRS_SN14714.50
wrickem2143.50
zx10guy5519.00
eluded3168.00
Murf99314096.50
omasou2124.00
jmg19303.00
kb2wji185.50
nyalpine907551.50
Merlin_83487.50
Lups11830.00
omgf80207.00
      09-11-2020, 06:06 PM   #9
HFW003
Brigadier General
HFW003's Avatar
Australia
6225
Rep
3,278
Posts

Drives: 2024 M340i xdrive
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Newcastle, Australia

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
Being a parent is tiring all the way around sir. Mine are 20 and 21. I wished that someone had told me before kids that (most) marriages don't last and that kids give not a single shit about the hell you go through, as a parent, to feed, clothe, educate and instill good morals. I love my boys more than life itself, but amazes me at how they care not for the sacrifices made for them...no matter how great or how insignificant.

In reality, wrap your arms around those little shits and enjoy every second you can with them. The next 15-18 years is going to fly by. Then you'll still be tired......and wish they were the size they are now. Each age comes with it's own challenges. Something else no one ever told me, being a parent is more of the kids teaching you to be a parent that you teaching your kids a damn thing. Enjoy the ride, it will be bumpy....but also very rewarding.
Wise words indeed King Rudi.

We have a 20 year old Son who can be the most ungrateful and demanding piece of work I have ever met. I cannot believe the way he speaks to both his Mother and I at times, it’s like someone else raised him, BUT, we love him with every beat of our heart.

With saying that he is also a great young man we are both very, very proud of and we have been blessed!
Appreciate 3
KRS_SN14714.50
Merlin_83487.50
King Rudi13072.00
      09-11-2020, 06:41 PM   #10
Rahul718
Second Lieutenant
160
Rep
220
Posts

Drives: F82 Comp 6mt - ‘23 S1000
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Bergen County, NJ

iTrader: (0)

Wow where to start.... father of 2. The boy is 2 years old and the girl is 7 months, born just before the pandemic. Been working from home for the past 6 months. Work is giving everyone the option of working from home for the foreseeable future or coming in on a staggered 3 day a week (with the following week WFH) schedule. Guess what I picked? Yep... I’m one of the few fools who is opting to go back just because I need a change of environment.

I love my kids but the youngest one is really making life pretty tough. The constant whining and crying just because she needs to be held is really testing mine and my wife’s patience, and my wife has the patience of a...well...very patient person lol. One kid is pretty manageable in regards to still being able to do a lot of what you did before but with minor modification. With two young kids close in age, forget about it. I can’t remember the last time I was able to watch a movie in peace with my wife or eat a meal in peace. From the moment your first kid is born, it’s all about them, rightfully so. My car, my motorcycle, the gym... they’re all still a part of my life but it takes modification to make them work. I just wish my wife and I spaced out having kids a bit more... I think we’re definitely done with having kids.

It definitely makes you appreciate everything your parents did for you when you have your own kids.

A pic of two car seats in an f82 for the nonbelievers
Attached Images
 

Last edited by Rahul718; 09-11-2020 at 06:48 PM..
Appreciate 1
rcracin1252.00
      09-11-2020, 08:23 PM   #11
ragingpanda
Banned
340
Rep
751
Posts

Drives: 135i
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida

iTrader: (0)

This thread is the perfect excuse for me not wanting to be a husband or a father lol. Bachelor life ftw!
Appreciate 7
Murf99314096.50
stein_325i25297.00
C2YT68.00
King Rudi13072.00
chocstraw518.50
      09-11-2020, 08:40 PM   #12
wcr3d
Captain
459
Rep
659
Posts

Drives: 2013 535i XDrive M Sport
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Indiana

iTrader: (0)

There is an old parental curse, I hope you have kids that turn out just like you!
Appreciate 1
QM287.00
      09-11-2020, 09:48 PM   #13
zx10guy
Brigadier General
5519
Rep
3,325
Posts

Drives: 2013 135i
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: DC

iTrader: (0)

Every dad's struggles are their own cross to bear. I wish I have the time many of you dads enjoy even with the challenges you all are going through. Coming from a situation where my ex pretty much did everything possible to make having time with our daughter a challenge and living nightmare, I'd gladly trade circumstances. Before the pandemic and before the custody agreement was solidified, I literally spent 10 hours a week driving back and forth to have time with my daughter while still managing a demanding full time sales job. The stress sent me to the hospital once as my doc thought I was having a heart attack. Before things got really bad with the ex, I spent about 2 weeks one time literally driving about 50 miles round trip 4 to 5 days of the week. I racked up 15k miles in 6 months on my 1er.

While the custody agreement made things easier, it was at the expense of having to accept the standard bullshit every other weekend and once a week dinner visit. And if anyone thinks I didn't look into fighting for 50/50, I did. The unfortunate thing was I trusted the wench during the separation and backed myself into a terrible corner. She flat out told us (myself and attorney) that 50/50 is a non starter. And because I was the main bread winner and she stayed at home through her own choice, I was on the hook for her attorney's fees. So she can take all the time she wanted as I was paying for both of our attorneys.

As my little girl grows up, it makes it harder and harder to drop her off at the ex's. I've been dealing with not having my little girl around full time for over 2 years now. I can count on one hand the number of days I've missed with my little girl. In my situation, every second my daughter is with me is precious.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
We might not be in an agreement on Trump, but I'll be the first penis chaser here to say I'll rather take it up in the ass than to argue with you on this.

Last edited by zx10guy; 09-11-2020 at 10:01 PM..
Appreciate 3
QM287.00
jninja514.50
      09-11-2020, 09:57 PM   #14
zx10guy
Brigadier General
5519
Rep
3,325
Posts

Drives: 2013 135i
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: DC

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ragingpanda View Post
This thread is the perfect excuse for me not wanting to be a husband or a father lol. Bachelor life ftw!
It's not just the stresses of raising kids, it's the whole state of family law. As King Rudi stated, many people go into a marriage thinking it's forever and find out it's not Disney movie. The stats bear it out. Having gone through one of the ultimate betrayals, I can honestly say I will never get married again. There's a reason why suicide rates for men going through a divorce are so high. I wished I had come across some alternate perspectives with the whole red pill movement before saying, "I do". Would you knowingly get into a car with the full knowledge that you are going to have a 50/50 chance of getting seriously hurt? Then when you do get hurt, the state comes in and dictates the care you get? Had I learned to look at a marriage in that context, it would have given me pause as to what I was signing up for.

But to tie this back into this thread. With the knowledge of the pain I went through with a short marriage and how badly I got screwed, would I do it all over again? I can honestly say yes. The reason? If I didn't get married, I wouldn't have my daughter. God knows I've been through all sorts of hell. Despite all of that, my love of my daughter has been unconditional.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
We might not be in an agreement on Trump, but I'll be the first penis chaser here to say I'll rather take it up in the ass than to argue with you on this.
Appreciate 7
hubbahubba11643.00
Murf99314096.50
King Rudi13072.00
F32Fleet3907.50
QM287.00
      09-11-2020, 10:02 PM   #15
henrylee
Lieutenant
henrylee's Avatar
United_States
480
Rep
592
Posts

Drives: 2018 F80 M3 6MT
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: SoCal OC

iTrader: (3)

Father of two and used to enjoy dropping them off at school but that has changed to virtual.
__________________
2018 F80 M3 6MT///Black Sapphire w/ Sakhir Orange Leather
2006 S2000 AP2 Laguna Blue Pearl 6MT
Appreciate 0
      09-11-2020, 10:48 PM   #16
hubbahubba
Captain
hubbahubba's Avatar
11643
Rep
879
Posts

Drives: M3CX
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Az

iTrader: (0)

Father of 2 men. 27 and 29. Guys, I feel you. There is no more difficult, yet rewarding job as being a father. There is nothing better in this world than watching your kids do well at something, and nothing more heartwrenching than watching them fail at something. As a dad, you get to see both. For me, I thoroughly enjoyed the younger years. 8th grade through high school pretty much sucked. Superman had entered the picture... When they hit about 25, they figured out that dad (and mom) weren't such bad people, and did the best that they could. It came full circle, and now we are friends again. I love it when they text or call and share the trouble they have, and ask what I would do. Cat's in the Cradle. Good or bad, have patience, love them, discipline them, and enjoy every minute. Your nest will be empty sooner than later, and the fountain of youth exists for nobody, not even your kids.
Appreciate 12
mc-m3243.50
sygazelle13417.50
dmatre747.00
Murf99314096.50
Rahul718159.50
kscarrol9602.50
S1nner159.00
CYANiDE168.50
King Rudi13072.00
QM287.00
      09-11-2020, 10:55 PM   #17
hubbahubba
Captain
hubbahubba's Avatar
11643
Rep
879
Posts

Drives: M3CX
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Az

iTrader: (0)

Appreciate 2
King Rudi13072.00
BMW11281.00
      09-12-2020, 01:54 AM   #18
Nachbar
Captain
Nachbar's Avatar
Switzerland
8165
Rep
679
Posts

Drives: i8
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Switzerland

iTrader: (0)

Good morning from Switzerland. It's Carwash day for me. My wife is doing garden work with the boys (1.5 and 4.5y/o)
We are blessed from what I hear. First one slept through almost every night from the beginning. Second needs food once every night. Cars are all fine for the family as well. Pandemic was not that worse over here. But we can work from home as much or as little we want. We actually love it this way.
Attached Images
  
Appreciate 1
GERMAN M34227.00
      09-12-2020, 02:56 AM   #19
mc-m3
Private First Class
244
Rep
106
Posts

Drives: 2006 X3, 2015 Panamera
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Seattle

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
Being a parent is tiring all the way around sir. Mine are 20 and 21. I wished that someone had told me before kids that (most) marriages don't last and that kids give not a single shit about the hell you go through, as a parent, to feed, clothe, educate and instill good morals. I love my boys more than life itself, but amazes me at how they care not for the sacrifices made for them...no matter how great or how insignificant.

In reality, wrap your arms around those little shits and enjoy every second you can with them. The next 15-18 years is going to fly by. Then you'll still be tired......and wish they were the size they are now. Each age comes with it's own challenges. Something else no one ever told me, being a parent is more of the kids teaching you to be a parent that you teaching your kids a damn thing. Enjoy the ride, it will be bumpy....but also very rewarding.
They do tend to be much more appreciative when they get out in the real word and discover that $ doesn't fall from trees into their laps. We tried hard to instil that that you don't buy things that you cannot afford to pay for in full. At 28 she has been fully self supporting for several years now. For me, she was a terrible baby and small child, but from ~7 on has been very easy on me.
Appreciate 1
King Rudi13072.00
      09-12-2020, 03:02 AM   #20
eluded
2JZ-GTE
eluded's Avatar
Bulgaria
3168
Rep
4,142
Posts

Drives: 340 6MT, 50e, others
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Sofia

iTrader: (0)

They grow up so fast. It starts off slow. No sleep. Diapers. Then kindergarten then college just like that. Time is flying by.
Appreciate 2
Murf99314096.50
King Rudi13072.00
      09-12-2020, 03:15 AM   #21
sygazelle
Brigadier General
13418
Rep
3,450
Posts

Drives: 2014 328i M-Sport, 2019 X5 40i
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: San Francisco

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by jpy1980 View Post
I never seen this type of thread before so I'll start.

I just had my second kid during this pandemic and man oh man is it tiring!

I also have a 3 year old who discovered the lovely task of waking up in the middle of the night to drag me out of bed onto their bed. I haven't had a good nights rest since June!

PLUS WE ARE STUCK AT HOME ALL DAY EVERY DAY DUE TO THIS PANDEMIC!

Also, I want a truck but my wife says no! BAH! I can't have my F80 and a truck because "that's wasteful"

Please guys, commiserate with me so I can feel better! =P

CHEERS!


It sounds like you have a sensible wife with whom you have had two amazing children. Sleep deprivation can make you a bit crazy but you will get through this awful time and look back at it and chuckle.

Just remember, whatever you are going through its probably 5 times worse for your wife in terms of sleep and taking care of the kids. Just take a moment and give her a great big hug and say thank you.

You can thank me later! Good luck!
Appreciate 0
      09-12-2020, 07:33 AM   #22
Murf993
Major
Murf993's Avatar
14097
Rep
1,336
Posts

Drives: Porsche 993
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Dog Lake, South Frontenac, Ontario Canada

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
Being a parent is tiring all the way around sir. Mine are 20 and 21. I wished that someone had told me before kids that (most) marriages don't last and that kids give not a single shit about the hell you go through, as a parent, to feed, clothe, educate and instill good morals. I love my boys more than life itself, but amazes me at how they care not for the sacrifices made for them...no matter how great or how insignificant.

In reality, wrap your arms around those little shits and enjoy every second you can with them. The next 15-18 years is going to fly by. Then you'll still be tired......and wish they were the size they are now. Each age comes with it's own challenges. Something else no one ever told me, being a parent is more of the kids teaching you to be a parent that you teaching your kids a damn thing. Enjoy the ride, it will be bumpy....but also very rewarding.
Well said, 30, 29 and 26. You do the best you can and hope for the best. They will disappoint you, make you crazy and exhaust you. The word thank you or some recognition for the sacrifice is rare or non-existent. I'm not sure if the sacrifices are for them or for us, but you do it and except it. I love my kids but sometimes what to take them outside for a parking lot conversation.

I think I'll give my mother a call today and thank her for what she did for me.

Peace out Dads.
Appreciate 1
King Rudi13072.00
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:31 PM.




e90post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST