[MrPogle]

I want to send a sample for analysis and the kit expects you to poke some plastic tubing down your dipstick hole. I don't have one (stop it, Matron) as the N53 manages solely on the electronic sensor.

Aside from the Laurel-and-Hardy-esque prospect of "undoing the sump-plug a little bit", does anyone have any suggestions?

[lemonukas]

Try oil filter. just remove and put back and I think should be enough oil in side for analyse.

[doughboy]

Tricky one.

I think Laurel and Hardy might be your best bet, although you might get a concentration of deposits that may collect near the plug as it is the low point.

Other than getting it from little pools of oil in the head reachable from the filler cap, straight after running this would all be freshly circulated oil.

How much do you need?

[MrPogle]

Originally Posted by doughboy

Tricky one.

Other than getting it from little pools of oil in the head reachable from the filler cap, straight after running this would all be freshly circulated oil.

How much do you need?

I need 50ml but I like this idea as I can probably hoover up a few ml with the syringe, run the engine a bit more and then get another few ml etc.

Cheers.

[Dr Dave]

Remove the oil filter. Easy.

[Robin330i]

Syringe and a length of fish tank air hose.

[MrPogle]

Originally Posted by Robin330i

Syringe and a length of fish tank air hose.

This is what I have got. How do I use them?

[A_P]

Strap wrench filter out. syringe sample. Refit filter strap wrench. Clean hands. Eat dinner. Sex. Sleep.

[Dr Dave]

Originally Posted by A_P

Strap wrench filter out. syringe sample. Refit filter strap wrench. Clean hands. Eat dinner. Sex. Sleep.

Enough of that strap-on malarkey and sex, you've shown us your dark side!

No strap wrench required, just a 36mm socket iirc

But in hindsight, I think the fishtank pipe and shoving it down the dipstick tube, suck up oil while observing the tube so it doesn't come up into your gob would be the easier option.

[A_P]

The oil filter on the e90 is up top strap wrench was the only way as far as I recall?

[Dr Dave]

36mm socket on top of filter closing top I think? Certainally is on the diesels, not 100% on the petrols.

[Dr Dave]

Ah, it looks like the 330i engine doesn't have the socket-head on top of the filter housing so your strap-on will work.

[mistryn]

just out of interest how much does this oil analysis cost and where do you send?

[MrPogle]

Originally Posted by mistryn

just out of interest how much does this oil analysis cost and where do you send?

http://www.blackstone-labs.com/

Cost is 25 or 35USD with postage at 5GBP. They email the report to you.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I'll try the oil-filter route. I haven't got a strap-wrench to remove the filter cover but I have got a strapping-wench so she can have a go it pulling it off.

[doughboy]

Originally Posted by Dr Dave

But in hindsight, I think the fishtank pipe and shoving it down the dipstick tube, suck up oil while observing the tube so it doesn't come up into your gob would be the easier option.

But the OPs issue is he doesn't have a dipstick (like most e9x models)

Does your 330d have a dipper?

[Dr Dave]

Originally Posted by doughboy

But the OPs issue is he doesn't have a dipstick (like most e9x models)

Does your 330d have a dipper?

Oh bugger, so it doesn't........so yes oil filter cap off is the best route.

Yep, 330d has a dipper!

Bugger me the money you're spending on analysis is going a long way towards the cost of an oil change!!

[MrPogle]

Originally Posted by Dr Dave

Bugger me the money you're spending on analysis is going a long way towards the cost of an oil change!!

True but I'm looking at this as a learning exercise. The car is telling me I can go 17000 miles between changes. People who know more about engines than BMW tell me that this is madness and that 6000 miles is right. That is a massive discrepancy and I am a big fan of Scientific Fact so I thought for the price of a tank of fuel I could get a few samples analysed and learn the truth (or at least my personal version of it).

[mistryn]

Originally Posted by MrPogle

http://www.blackstone-labs.com/

Cost is 25 or 35USD with postage at 5GBP. They email the report to you.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I'll try the oil-filter route. I haven't got a strap-wrench to remove the filter cover but I have got a strapping-wench so she can have a go it pulling it off.

Thanks for that interesting read, now I would be more interested if I can get a sample of auto trans oil for analysis as BMW state its lifelong product - be interesting to see the stats on the oil after 100k

[A_P]

Most people do oil changes in between services anyway.

[doughboy]

Originally Posted by MrPogle

True but I'm looking at this as a learning exercise. The car is telling me I can go 17000 miles between changes. People who know more about engines than BMW tell me that this is madness and that 6000 miles is right. That is a massive discrepancy and I am a big fan of Scientific Fact so I thought for the price of a tank of fuel I could get a few samples analysed and learn the truth (or at least my personal version of it).

Another member on here did this, can't remember his name, on a 335i. There was a lot of fuel contamination found anyway.

I get your point mr pogle, so why not just change it every 6 then? I do for personal satisfaction.

I'm sure the oil sample will show it is ok relatively, but the 17000+ interval is not aimed at enthusiast owners (who know it is a marketing tool), or about keeping the engine perfect in tip top condition, its about striking a balance between low maintenance for the masses and increasing warranty failure costs.

Most euro cars are designed on a 10 year / 300,000km non consumable parts life cycle (i.e engine, drivetrain etc) and that will be tested using the long service intervals, not saying the engine would be in a good state by then, but it should work.

People generally want long intervals, it sells cars, most don't care about the engine as long as it starts in the morning. So no manufacturer will risk that by quoting overly generous maintenance.

And they don't want the car to last forever of course!

[rovers_andy]

Originally Posted by lemonukas

Try oil filter. just remove and put back and I think should be enough oil in side for analyse.

Bad idea, the sample won't give a true representation of Oil quality.

[MrPogle]

Originally Posted by doughboy

I get your point mr pogle, so why not just change it every 6 then? I do for personal satisfaction.

I'm sure the oil sample will show it is ok relatively, but the 17000+ interval is not aimed at enthusiast owners (who know it is a marketing tool), or about keeping the engine perfect in tip top condition, its about striking a balance between low maintenance for the masses and increasing warranty failure costs.

<additional text removed>

I agree with you.

The issue I am trying to address is that any oil change interval is a compromise. BMW's, your's, my mate's (who has access to free oil at work and so changes it when he has nothing better to do). The thing is that everyone is compromising on different things (cost, convenience, customer expectation, environmental impact etc.) and many of those things are not easy to objectively measure. Even when you can measure it, the actual compromise is highly personal. Maybe you can afford to spend 30 pounds a month on oil and I can't. Maybe you're only keeping the car for 3 years and maybe I hoping it will last 15. No offence, but "personal satisfaction" is not even slightly objective. I'm hoping to come up with my own compromise by having at least some facts and not relying entirely on anecdotes and unverified information.

The other problem (again not wishing to upset anybody) is that the whole oil-change thing has become a religion with many people confusing belief with facts and justifying their own positions with circular or baseless arguments. Conspiracy theories abound and utter nonsense is seriously put forward as undeniable fact. My mate changes his oil in almost total darkness because he believes that even very brief exposure to UV light damages synthetic oil. This is why it is manufactured in UV-free facilities and packed in containers which block UV light. He is a forensic chemist so maybe he is right or maybe he is mental.

I might start my own tyre-religion instead.....

BMW only recommend changing your tyres at 2mm to keep costs down for fleet operators. 2mm is nowhere near enough tread for high-performance, enthusiastic motoring so I change my tyres at 5mm.

Am I

a) A sad car-geek with more money than sense who is looking for a comfort-blanket/hobby/topic-of-conversation-for-the-pub?

b) A quality-conscious motorist who is looking to derive maximum performance from my not-inconsiderable investment?

Obviously (as with everything nowadays) there are no wrong answers.