[ga9213]

My outlook on what's important in life as well as our goals took a major turn about 3 years ago. My wife was pregnant with our second child at 24 weeks when she had a hemorrhagic stroke due to a previously undiscovered AVM. We nearly lost her and if we had, likely the baby as well. We got really, really lucky on the location of her bleed as if it were a fraction of a mm further out, she'd have likely died within minutes of the stroke, or at best had massive permanent deficits.

Ultimately, the bleed was intracranial which caused some permanent deficits but minor in comparison..and the AVM was operable so it was removed to prevent future strokes (hopefully). We delivered my daughter at 30 weeks via c-section which was as long as her neurologist wanted to wait, and then she had her craniotomy.

Prior to this I was job hopping about every 5 years to work my way up the ladder, taking decent pay raises along the way, but also additional responsibilities.

Where I'm at now is at a fantastic healthcare system where I work remotely and previously had traveled 75%. However after the stroke that got cut down dramatically and now with COVID I've not traveled at all. I'm done job hopping as I have a fantastic work life balance while still making a very comfortable wage.

At this point we are maxing our retirements and padding our savings. We live well below our means so that we can give our daughters the best lives we can, but are also preparing for the worst if something else should happen.

Absolutely treasure your loved ones every day you have with them...it can be taken in the blink of an eye and everything you thought you held with high regard is entirely meaningless in comparison.

[1margarette]

Currently, I am saving for my dream house the reason why I work hard.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by TrevorM3

didn't ever want kids. thank you for the re-assurance

Glad to help! Love my boys as I do, the only thing worse than children, are other people's children.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by c1pher

My two grown adult children don’t talk to me. No one (well, at least not me) asked them to pick sides and an irreconcilable differences divorce but they did. Apparently I’m the asshole in the situation, and I’m good with it. I did my job and raised my children. A side benefit is that I don’t have one or both of them living in the basement leeching off of me. I love them and would give them the world if I could, but for some people, that’s not enough.

I feel this to my core. When married to the kids mother, I did everything. Cooked, cleaned, laundry, baths, took the boys everywhere (to and from); I handled it all. The divorce came about and suddenly I was the asshole. Not sure where I or it went wrong, but kids only speak to me now, if they need something. My oldest sons 21st birthday is in 2 weeks and I can't even talk him into letting me and my girlfriend take him and his girlfriend out to dinner so he can have his first legal drink. I've seen him twice since Christmas and both times were because he needed something.

Both boys are still living with their mother. I feel like I did my part as a parent. If they're going to live in a parents basement, fine; but they won't live in mine. It's not how I raised them.

[NEfan508]

I do projects for wealthy people, most seem happy overall but a good chunk are cry faces, busy and stressed with work and more work, another house another car etc.

more money is not my motivation in life.

2018-2019 I was getting healthy, did some bucket list stuff, autobahn with my dad and son, Santorini with Mrs Miller and a Yellowstone trip with my boy and nephews

Now I'm 100% clear of the big C, I'm content, I like my life and actually love my wife, family and work.

that all said 2 women same time would be cool, mic drop...

[JasonDot]

Originally Posted by NEfan508

I do projects for wealthy people, most seem happy overall but a good chunk are cry faces, busy and stressed with work and more work, another house another car etc.

more money is not my motivation in life.

2018-2019 I was getting healthy, did some bucket list stuff, autobahn with my dad and son, Santorini with Mrs Miller and a Yellowstone trip with my boy and nephews

Now I'm 100% clear of the big C, I'm content, I like my life and actually love my wife, family and work.

that all said 2 women same time would be cool, mic drop...

That's great, man. The wealthy people you work with are showing you the faces they want you to see.

We align on the "more money isn't the way" perspective.

[David70]

Be in a financial position where I can retire at age 53. Pretty sure I don't want to but the idea that I can leave my job at any point without issues is very attractive to me. Or I can take a year off and later get a job that keeps me busy and increases my standard of living but isn't that important.

[Onizukachan]

Retire eventually, accomplished everything else already.

[TrevorM3]

Originally Posted by c1pher

My two grown adult children don’t talk to me. No one (well, at least not me) asked them to pick sides and an irreconcilable differences divorce but they did. Apparently I’m the asshole in the situation, and I’m good with it. I did my job and raised my children. A side benefit is that I don’t have one or both of them living in the basement leeching off of me. I love them and would give them the world if I could, but for some people, that’s not enough.

dam dude, thats rough. But as long as you know you did the right things, that's all you a man can do. Life goes on, and it goes fast, make yourself happy.

[c1pher]

Originally Posted by TrevorM3

dam dude, thats rough. But as long as you know you did the right things, that's all you a man can do. Life goes on, and it goes fast, make yourself happy.

At some point you have to ask yourself, am I making other people’s lives better while they are making me miserable? My ex wife got all the benefits of being married to me while I worked like a dog and truthfully got very little in return. Almost all my holidays were spent with her family, I worked all day and came home to a messy home and had to make dinner, do laundry etc. When I would ask my wife what she did all day, she claimed she didn’t know. She had complete freedom (she didn’t work), had full access to funds and we had almost no sex life or affection to speak of.

It’s water under the bridge at this point. I am remarried and extremely happy to a woman who shares similar goals and dreams. She’s there thick or thin, very loving and always loyal.

[c1pher]

Originally Posted by TrevorM3

dam dude, thats rough. But as long as you know you did the right things, that's all you a man can do. Life goes on, and it goes fast, make yourself happy.

You only get one ride on the Ferris wheel. Better make the most of it. Don’t put off things you could do but don’t for whatever reason.

[izzyM2]

I never had a goal. I believe a persons faith is already etched when he/she is born. All you have to do is follow the wild river of life and try to navigate your way from the rocks (distractions) and find the best path towards your faith... really!

[TrevorM3]

Originally Posted by c1pher

At some point you have to ask yourself, am I making other people’s lives better while they are making me miserable? My ex wife got all the benefits of being married to me while I worked like a dog and truthfully got very little in return. Almost all my holidays were spent with her family, I worked all day and came home to a messy home and had to make dinner, do laundry etc. When I would ask my wife what she did all day, she claimed she didn’t know. She had complete freedom (she didn’t work), had full access to funds and we had almost no sex life or affection to speak of.

It’s water under the bridge at this point. I am remarried and extremely happy to a woman who shares similar goals and dreams. She’s there thick or thin, very loving and always loyal.

sheesh, sounds like she had the life alright. No job. lol

Good to hear you're remarried brotha.

[TrevorM3]

Originally Posted by c1pher

You only get one ride on the Ferris wheel. Better make the most of it. Don’t put off things you could do but don’t for whatever reason.

i hear ya, we see these words all too often. I may end up having a ton of regrets, as i've spent most of my twenties working 7 days a week. But the money is a great motivator. I know contrary to what alot of have said in here about working too much, i think it will all come to fruition for me soon enough.

[c1pher]

Originally Posted by TrevorM3

i hear ya, we see these words all too often. I may end up having a ton of regrets, as i've spent most of my twenties working 7 days a week. But the money is a great motivator. I know contrary to what alot of have said in here about working too much, i think it will all come to fruition for me soon enough.

I watched my brother in law skrimp every penny to only end up with liver cancer and die at 60 before he could even reach retirement. We were very close and one of the things he said to me before he passed was that he wished he hadn’t been so tight with money and enjoyed life from the fruits of his labor more often.

You never know when you’re going to go. Not saying don’t save anything, but you should also try to live a little while also saving for a future of not going to work. I work hard so I can enjoy nice things and experiences, but I also try to put something aside. Could I maybe retire five years sooner if I saved harder? Maybe but I do like to be productive and not having to be frugal.

I expect I’ll be driving a econobox when I’m retired but can then justify it because I know the alternative is returning to work at that point, and know I already did a bunch of stuff while I was still really healthy. When you’re 75, you’re not typically going cross country hiking or jet skiing or whatever.

[UncleWede]

I am a few days over 54, type 1 diabetic, about 20lbs extra

By 55:
5km under 29:00. Today I ran 30:41
Under 185. Last weight was 197
Average glucose under 140. Last 90 days was 167
Gym 4/week. Currently 2.6

[matty088]

Life is about having the right mate.

[mecheng77]

Originally Posted by NEfan508

I do projects for wealthy people, most seem happy overall but a good chunk are cry faces, busy and stressed with work and more work, another house another car etc.

more money is not my motivation in life.

2018-2019 I was getting healthy, did some bucket list stuff, autobahn with my dad and son, Santorini with Mrs Miller and a Yellowstone trip with my boy and nephews

Now I'm 100% clear of the big C, I'm content, I like my life and actually love my wife, family and work.

that all said 2 women same time would be cool, mic drop...

Originally Posted by NEfan508

I do projects for wealthy people, most seem happy overall but a good chunk are cry faces, busy and stressed with work and more work, another house another car etc.

more money is not my motivation in life.

2018-2019 I was getting healthy, did some bucket list stuff, autobahn with my dad and son, Santorini with Mrs Miller and a Yellowstone trip with my boy and nephews

Now I'm 100% clear of the big C, I'm content, I like my life and actually love my wife, family and work.

that all said 2 women same time would be cool, mic drop...

Classic line from office space !

[OkieSnuffBox]

Get my fat ass in shape and stick around on this rock as long as I can. Also get the NC setup for HPDE work since I haven't been able to do that for awhile, build another sim rig, but also spend more time traveling/camping here in the good ol US and A.


I fall into the "Sky Daddy is a myth to make people feel better" camp, so it's not like there is any inherent value in being alive. We die, and we don't know we were ever here. And then you'll be forgotten about once your friends and family are gone.

[rebekahb]

Originally Posted by c1pher

I watched my brother in law skrimp every penny to only end up with liver cancer and die at 60 before he could even reach retirement. We were very close and one of the things he said to me before he passed was that he wished he hadn't been so tight with money and enjoyed life from the fruits of his labor more often.

You never know when you're going to go. Not saying don't save anything, but you should also try to live a little while also saving for a future of not going to work. I work hard so I can enjoy nice things and experiences, but I also try to put something aside. Could I maybe retire five years sooner if I saved harder? Maybe but I do like to be productive and not having to be frugal.

I expect I'll be driving a econobox when I'm retired but can then justify it because I know the alternative is returning to work at that point, and know I already did a bunch of stuff while I was still really healthy. When you're 75, you're not typically going cross country hiking or jet skiing or whatever.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother in law. No one facing their last day says they wish they would have worked harder.

My husband and I live our lives very similar to what I bolded above. We both work hard and enjoy the benefits of our hard work. There's no guarantee that when you retire you will be healthy enough, alive long enough after, or even guaranteed tomorrow. We travel quite a bit and each time we do we look at each other & say how fortunate we are to experience the moments we do. We do save and if the bottom fell out tomorrow could live for quite a while on savings.

I don't know, there's more to life than the constant hamster wheel we run on. Life is meant to be experienced not worked away.

[JasonDot]

Originally Posted by rebekahb

I'm sorry to hear about your brother in law. No one facing their last day says they wish they would have worked harder.

My husband and I live our lives very similar to what I bolded above. We both work hard and enjoy the benefits of our hard work. There's no guarantee that when you retire you will be healthy enough, alive long enough after, or even guaranteed tomorrow. We travel quite a bit and each time we do we look at each other & say how fortunate we are to experience the moments we do. We do save and if the bottom fell out tomorrow could live for quite a while on savings.

I don't know, there's more to life than the constant hamster wheel we run on. Life is meant to be experienced not worked away.

Great aspect. The hamster wheel is an invention that most people partake in without awareness. Even if we weren't told to live a particular way by peers or family, our potential mirror neurons are still engaged by societal displays.

[UncleWede]

5km today: 30:12